At least my brother’s wearing clothes on Instagram today.

Who the fuck does Ellie Brooks have pictures of? Every third week seems to be Ellie Brooks Night. #NotTOTP

Absolutely dire night. Same jokes again next week, yeah? #totp

Who wrapped Andrew around her shoulders? Own up. #totp

Two (2) Whitneys Houston #totp

Obligatory joke about Madness not being allowed out to play until they’ve done their homework. #totp

Loved this. Can’t deny it. #totp

Low, like Rob Lowe… or low flying aircraft… or… lo and behold… yes…

It’s not exactly their finest work but I’ll take it in this desert. #totp

Close your eyes and that’s the voice of someone called Betty who does the solos at church. #totp

Get your starey eyes away from me, woman. #totp

Fucking hell, they’ve really dropped the ball on keeping Peter under control tonight. He needs a co-host to rein him in. #totp

She’s like a titian Mel Giedroyc #totp

Arrest that man. #HANDS #totp

I always thought the fake Buddy Holly in The Young Ones looked more like Elvis Costello. #totp

The best thing about this is the cardigan and it’s a bloody awful cardigan. #totp

Disgracefullly slapdash Fablon application behind Peter just then. #totp

#ExcellentThighs #totp

HANDS! #totp

He looks a tiny bit like Rachel Fairburn when he puts his head back. #totp

Oh, FUCK OFF. I cannot stand Baker Street. #totp

That’s a long and improbable middle name. #totp

This is a country song. #totp

Did they have him do that intro in an empty studio for the audience’s protection? #totp

#ExcellentMidriffs, shame about the tedious club ‘anthem’ #totp

My favourite J Lo thighs are in the video where she’s skipping in a gym. Is that Get Right? #totp

#ExcellentThighs #totp

More fancy lawyers. #totp

Even a shit haircut can’t ruin him. He’s incredible. #totp

3/10 for the hair but I’ll take it. #totp

Why have those women been plumbed in? #totp

I’ve still not fully recovered from last week’s vertigo and this isn’t helping. #totp

The visuals were very much better than the audio on that episode. #totp

It’s a vintage night for #ExcellentMidriffs #totp

It’s an #ExcellentEmbonpoint for @blogmywiki.bsky.social#ExcellentEmbonpoint#totp

Why’s she sitting down? Sprained ankle? Laziness? #totp

This didn’t happen, did it? Are these AI midriffs? #totp

Many #ExcellentMidriffs #totp

I refer you to my regular comment about US boy bands and their parents’ fancy lawyers. #totp

You have a nine-year-old girl’s hair, my lord. #totp

They could’ve done two (2) Hopkirks (Deceased) between them if they’d thought this through. #totp

@lyndonmarquis.bsky.social Evening. My citrus has been in the oven for over 24 hours. Looks pretty good. Did you ‘condition’ yours or whack it in a jar and hope for the best?

I’m all set to make Elton John Mouse.

I’ve discovered a new craft shop.

One of the miniaturists I follow on Insta has made a #70sWall

Fuck’s sake. Felt a bit giddy in work and had to come home in case it turns into a proper vertigo attack. My craft buddy at work insisted on coming with me on the train and handing me over to Farrers. She lives the other side of Birmingham. Absolute angel.

Someone needs to start paying me to be a full-time felt mouse-botherer because I do not want to go to work tomorrow.

Fucking hell. Just went onto Instagram and was faced with my brother doing a marketing pitch, naked, in a Finnish sauna with the carbon fibre side pod of an early 2000s Jaguar Formula one car. I’m going to rub my eyes, restart Instagram and hope I’ve just inhaled too many fumes.

Watching Elton John Live in Australia with the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra to make sure I get the details right and I’ve just realised that Elton and his band are Hopkirks (Deceased).

“Beat me on the bottom with a Woman’s Squeakly”