How is Martinelli doing?

This has been an absolutely awful week at work. Everyone is so mad right now

🍦

You know why no-one says they're on weightloss injections? It's because they're referred to as 'fat-jabs' and they're seen as a quick fix and you're seen as cheating and weak if you use them.

Unvetted rapists in the Met you say? How surprising

This reminds me of 2 of my aunts. One became a born again Christian, the other didn't. Newly Christian J told fond of swearing S to not swear around her. S replied "fuck off"

You're living somewhere bucolic? I'm so sorry that must be disgusting. Oh it's good? Ok.

I know it’s not funny but that last line amused me. Just ice people wondering why the car still hit them even though they murdered someone

No new pictures where are you mentally

I have seen Band of Brothers many times. I’ll still watch it again

fucking cancer

Tomorrow is bins

Did William Shakespeare have a wife called Agnes?

Not clearing down the time on the microwave, not putting the lid back on the tea/coffee caddy, not closing the cupboard doors after you, not putting your dishes in the dishwasher - these are all examples of you not even thinking about anyone else in the office

In my last job a colleague of mine was having issues with her phone, it wasn't disconnecting calls properly or making calls properly. She phoned Orange & was given a load of waffle that she wasn't pleased with. She hung up & called the advisor a bitch...the advisor heard it all

Bridgette Bardot could've listened to Pa O'Dwyer - Don't be a cunt. RIP Pa

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a crisp, refreshing coca cola...and a wife"

Is it a Catholic thing or an Irish thing that everyone at a funeral makes their way to the family at the front of the church to shake their hand?

I have just been spoken to so rudely by a customer that I am shaking and pretty close to tears. I understand having to get your point across but to talk over me & ignore what I'm saying is just rude. Especially when it turns out that you're wrong and you actually are out of contract

There's a lot of authors wondering where their money is

He'll just copy out the lyrics to 'Live & Let Die'

We're only 4 years away from 2030 but it seems such a futuristic date

I know people dislike Kula Shaker for various reasons but they do a decent version of Hush

I found out yesterday that Otis Redding was 26 when he died. I would have put him at in 40s

doing it out of spite (against myself)

This wheel is to the boy squirrel the way that the football is to Charlie Brown and it still makes me laugh every time he tries to use it only to be immediately spun.

Heard my Northern Irish colleague say 'Power' on the phone and then make it sound more English the second time he said it. You may be in England but I need you to keep saying 'parrr'

Why is AI being used to take away leisure *and* work? Wall-e wasn't supposed to be a blueprint

I can’t shake the idea that the cat carrier shattering with Meg in it is an omen. Which is why I am very upset when I get home from work and she doesn’t come to greet me because the heating is on & the bedroom is warm

Since I updated iOS my alarm asks you to slide to turn it off and I do not like that. I just want to press a button

Is this what it felt like in 1939?

The moon is just out there being casually gorgeous

It looks like BTK has donates £1000 to Graham Linehan's fund "Dennis Rader - Graham Linehan Fundraiser Social 2025-09-04 02:39:00.000 - 1000.0" www.transbashback.com/fsu.html

Are they gong to limit the gambling adverts to after 9pm?

I get frustrated at one of my colleagues when he tries to do a specialised element of my job because he ends up asking me all the questions anyway. But I get even more frustrated with the colleague when he asks me to do the specialised element of my job instead of attempting it himself.

Kieth really has no spine. He's waving around a piece of paper declaring peace in our time.

We're back — and our first feature of the year is a meticulous dissection of "Jetway Jesus", the "airport wheelchair miracle", and the people who perpetuate this insidious and persistent myth. theupfront.media/disabled-pas...

My eyes are tired. I’ve laid in bed for an hour and a half listening to classic fm calm and I still can’t sleep

I was disappointed to see that the super Mario bros movie that was on was not the Bob Hoskins one

When someone in the public eye dies and the press mention them raising awareness to mental health, that’s their oblique way of saying they died by suicide, isn’t it

I’m wondering how I’m going to wake up in time for work tomorrow

In Practical Magic they talk about Gillian’s boyfriend being from Bulgaria and then reference vampires & Dracula. It annoys me every time

Stunned to hear about Pa O’Dwyer

No cheating, repost with the most recent photo of your pet

Don’t think I don’t think the way you do about this but I’m also not smart enough to understand it all. I also don’t think he has dementia, I subscribe to the syphilis theory

Remember when a bunch of Dutch people killed and ate their prime minister?

#UKsnow DH4 10/10

Well done, everyone who survived. I love you all. Now get the fuck away from me. #TOTP