Stuck the Royle Family on 🤩

*the desk sergeant

OH MY GOD

Thursday

Morning

Good deed done for the day 😊 at the supermarket, there was a little old lady queuing in front of me with £63 of shopping but her card was declined. I was feeling generous, especially at this time of year, and you’ve got to help out so I helped her put it all back. God bless us, every one ❤️

@ohyertiz.bsky.social ey up lass 😁🙌🏻

Afternoon

Heard that if Spotify catch you playing more than 3 Adele songs in 24 hours, they alert The Samaritans???

“Jerry, they’re acoustic! Bang ‘em straight on!”

Duran Duran’s Ordinary World came on and I fell to my knees in Asda

Morning

IT’S BIN DAY

At least we can look forward to a load of confused Yanks encountering a load of pissed up Jocks

With all this excitement I cannot wait for Sunday back at Elland Road

TAKE A BOW SON

Jamie Redknapp always starting an interview with "does your wife let you see the kids?" Give it a rest, pal

Just seen Rasmus Kristensen is lining up for Denmark

Modern car headlights are designed just to blind you then are they? WANK

Morning

LADS, IT’S BIG COAT WEATHER

Tuesday

I can’t stand Ruby Wax but I don’t know why

Saw a headline this morning saying the former Prime Minister of Bangladesh is on trial for “crimes against humanity” They’ll get you for anything these days

Sometimes I just sit and think about the fact that more people have been to the moon than have won Takeshi's Castle. Mental

The Telegraph with their finger on the pulse as per usual

Morning

Monday

A pal who works in an A&E dept always amazes us with tales of ‘insertions gone wrong’ 👀😳☠️

Have just spent the thick end of 70 notes ordering towels online at Asda. 7000p on fucking TARLS

Watching Celeb and Angry Ginge is on (no I’ve no idea either) which reminds me of a little lad in our lass’ red-headed colleagues class: “Miss, my dad calls you ginge” “Is that right”

I’d love to take Kelly Brook out for a nice seafood dinner #I’mACeleb

I’m scranning lebkuchen

If I was directing The Crown, I'd be lobbing in inaccuracies LRAC just to annoy people. Diana smoking a pipe. One scene. Nobody mentions it. Box office

Sunday night fear is ramping up

🎶Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty, you’re listening to the boy from the Vatican City🎶

“Ah, Pope Leo. He gives great mass, I’m a big fan of his. Look at that swagger. Effortless”

I have never given birth but can’t imagine the physical anguish or emotional rollercoaster comes anywhere close to that of changing a king size duvet cover by yourself

Post your favourite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only.

Can't be long now until we get our first dodgy winter wonderland story 🤞🏻🤩

Catching up on Drag Race Tracey Beaker tho

Absolutely cannot wait to get balls deep into some ironing tonight

@juxtaposedwithyou.bsky.social this reminds me of you and Kimmy for some reason 📚

I’m making ras el hanout

Still howling at this

This is like something off Fake Showbiz News. Where do you start

Who the hell is Bo Svensson and why is he suddenly an odds on favourite to be our next manager? #lufc

Get to know your mutuals, list ten random things you like Sport Risotto Design Everyone being respectful Italy Spain Mushrooms Comedy Cans Yer Ma