Sorry but it is a bit embarrassing this team has the gene to tie the game, but never the one to win it. There’s no reason this should be going extra innings at this point, and now they will lose

The TMI post: So my gf found a free penis pump on Amazon through a program she's in and I used it and it might be one of the weirdest experiences I've ever felt. I think I genuinely may be too thick for it to work

[78 SCORELESS MINUTES OF PLAYOFF HOCKEY] cam york for some reason:

Flyers Fans Not Sure  Whether Gritty  Supposed To Be Eating Live Bird https://theonion.com/flyers-fans-not-sure-whether-gritty-supposed-to-be-eating-live-bird/

im joining the army to commit war crimes in Pittsburgh

Oh god, Horse Armor is within the Ask Historians 20 year rule for historical content 💀

serial killer standing out in the open next to the police tape levels of hubris

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director. Please stand by for more.

Thoughts on me starting a joke onlyfans

Time, mister,, alt, man, is it really that, time, again?

Conservatives only understand the issues they love when they are personally inconvenienced / affected by their consequences.

Imagine dedicating your life to incel looksmaxxing so much that you've smashed yourself in the face with a hammer only to have a regular reporter from 60 Minutes Australia completely outmog you. (Clavicular eventually walked off the interview)

I bet Eric Adams is pissed that he suddenly became Albanian and it wasn’t even the strangest political story of a 48 hour period

Bad news gang they paved paradise and put up a parking lot

i feel bad for our country but this is tremendous content

Finn Wolfhard jumpscare

Quite charmed by "Malcolm in the Middle: Life's Still Unfair." Biggest issue is it's stuck halfway between being an actual four-part story and "more of the original thing", and can't split the difference. But Bryan Cranston is great, and bringing the classic creatives back paid off.

okay last clip

senator warren you should buy a gun!!!!!!!

A guy in a Ford Focus almost ran a red light in front of me and I said "hey bro you should Ford Focus on your driving" and he couldn't hear me but I was really proud of it

Why are so many strip clubs giving away 50' plasma TVs on Wednesdays

News used to be better

It’s called “Gollumizing”

Rest in peace Chuck Norris he got hit by a bazooka

This screen grab is from a video posted today by an Iranian bystander. It shows two helicopters refueling incredibly close to the ground in enemy territory. If everybody was flying like that, I'm not surprised so many got hit. x.com/RKhanizadeh/...

This is forceful but does not compare to the hatred Vernon Maxwell has for Utah

🚨 NASA has BANNED astronaut Martin Waulf from bringing his three-screen gooning rig aboard the Artemis II. “Gooning is not conducive to a productive lunar mission,” said NASA Commander Ed Branch. LIKE and SHARE if you think astronauts should be allowed to #GoonOnTheMoon!

¡SOSA! ¡CRAWFORD! ¡EN ESPAÑOL! #RingTheBell

damn he’s stealing the centrist platform

SOSA. FRANZKE. #RingTheBell

JUSTIN CRAWFORD WALKS IT OFF! #RingTheBell

Love going to Wawa and seeing a dude with a parrot on his shoulder. My city.

Andrew Painter’s first career strikeout

age verification laws are tools of fascism. it will be used to track and censor anything on the internet the government deems inappropriate, which will include anything LGBTQ+ related. it will not keep children safe, it will more likely do more harm than good. shame on you JB.

Only 159 more games until I don't have to think about Doing It 6 days a week

What I see vs what she sees

Game Won #RingTheBell

I love that Dax will just be like "oh yeah I fucked McCoy when he was in college"

A rogue AI agent’s actions led to my insta search looking like that, babe.

ok i get keeping kids away from the internet but i would argue that preventing children from having access to culture from outside of the confines of their house is borderline child abuse

Happy Saint Paddy's Day and free Palestine

tackling a child is such a funny thing for a wrestling heel to do. i'm hesitant to say we should normalize it but god damn

I like to sprint full speed away from the vacuum and make all the dogs terrified to let them know sometimes they aren't in control

Luigi, Maduro, Ippei, and the Dominican barber who gave Luigi a fade have been watching the WBC in prison

No alt txt?