Reading a book by Werner Herzog, as opposed to listening to the audio version narrated by him, is made only better for the fact that in my head it is narrated by my own terrible Werner Herzog impersonation.

I have to go outside and my grippiest boots aren't grippy enough

Heard ya boyfriend donated to Tanskiii’s fundraiser

Touching grass isn’t enough, I need to see another red-pilled YouTuber getting his jaw broken by a professional boxer

DO NOT INJECT THE SAUSAGE ROLLS WITH OZEMPIC

Considered going out for a lil' Mental Health walk, but after nearly going arse over tit on the icy pavement have concluded my mental health can't come at the expense of a shattered hip. Back on the sofa with a massive tea it is.

January 2026... #Archaeology 🏺

pockets for women have this cool feature where sitting on the sofa causes the contents to auto-eject like clowns bursting out of a clown car

Yes

It's coming up to the ten year anniversary of my dad's death. Feel like I should do something. No idea what. Besides crying, obv.

Scully let's split up. I'll interview this beautiful botanist and you go check out the sewer system full of human bones

morning

Oddbod Junior will return in AVENGERS: DOOMSDAY

Not for a game of Cluedo.

"The man in black Adidas fled across the desert and the gunslinger followed in an Uber."

Finally got my settings right

Wednesday plans: 🖼️ Chris Dunn

This morning, I felt like I'd irrevocably fucked my life up and my continued existence was, essentially, pointless. Then I spent the evening blasting Evergrey and Devin Townsend/Strapping Young Lad till my skull rattled and now I'm quite chipper 😊 Anyway, bedtime. m.youtube.com/watch?v=JyWY...

Whenever I'm digging a massive, exotically-shaped dod of hardened piss-sand out of the cat's toilet with my wee plastic trowel, I like to pretend I'm the hairy lad from off of Time Team, unearthing a mystical viking artifact to please Tony Robinson.

The snow is gently settling on the dog poo bag I left on the garden table. It’s very romantic.

If everyone just quit their jobs at the same time I reckon we could all get away with it x

The saddest thing about 2026 is Pac-Man’s decline into weird fetish content

Excuse me, do these antidepressants have added protein?

I don't know anything about D. H. Lawrence's writing, but his delivery company is a joke.

The scarier music fans look, the nicer they generally are. Never trust a hippy.

It's weather like this that makes me wish with every fibre of my being that I had a wood burner/log fire that me and the cat can warm ourselves in front of. I want to be this lad, basically.

Important first aid tip here.

"Forest Ghost" – Alfred Kubin

Found this beautiful picture of my parents moving into our San Diego home in the 90s

it’s dangerous to go alone, take this

Not nearly enough people talk about how totally fucking cute and adorable witch’s familiars used to be in the 16th Century.

Artist rendition of me about to batter fuck out of a bit of malfunctioning tech with a massive snake

Today is the day that we take down the Xmas tree & replace it with the January Joytrap, a leafless black fern that weeps bitter liquorice into the screaming beaks of baby gargoyles

Avebury under snow from the church tower. #StandingStoneSunday

Love this from Guillermo del Toro

As I'm sure you're aware, the fifth of January is the day of the Schnabelperchten, a creature of Austrian folklore who will check your house for cleanliness. If they decide you haven't done a good enough job, they'll slit open your belly and fill it with straw. Happy New Year..!

Once again failing to find sufficiently powerful thermal bras for this weather, and once again putting forward this prototype

magical

this is where you live

keir starmer's got every episode of 'allo 'allo on vhs that he keeps in those those maroon plastic cases with the gold trim.

Can I squeeze in an eighteenth roast dinner in 3 weeks?

Besides being insufferable about costume/prop/backdrop inaccuracies in period pieces is the incandescent rage I feel every time they cast some impossibly pretty actor as a real person from history that was KNOWN to be short, fat and covered in suppurating sores.

January takes its name from the Roman god Janus, who had two faces & could look forwards & backwards at the same time. He was also the first god to ever join a gym, but only went three times in two millennia

One of the things you realise (especially when you're a recovering traumatised people-pleaser) is that the vast majority of people genuinely don't care. About anything. Tearing yourself to shreds to "be the best" or "give 100%" is almost always met with a shrug, at best. #SundayBigThoughts

Realised what’s unsettling for me about AI prose, art etc escaping into culture. It’s algorithmic, so it’s an average of what most people think is probably OK. Therefore when it’s shared, it shows statistically that most people don’t care if something is any fucking good. And that scares me.

My posts do not represent the views of my employer. The pants I'm wearing right now don't represent my employer's fashion sense. What I just ate for dinner doesn't represent my employer's culinary preferences. You can just go ahead and assume that my employer and I are two different people entirely.

Aiming for a Brambly Hedge-ish January

A bit of serendipity this morning - didn’t feel safe going out in the car so went to the canal instead and saw this. My comedy moment for the year 🦢🤪 [Vertical video so needs a click] #sillyswan #iphone15pro

fuck everything all the time