Is this a goth trap?

Sleeping with his tiny friend

Please be the largest beard of bees

Ever think about how much better your life would have been if you had a time machine and a stun gun?

I saw a comment under RATM’s Killing In The Name Of which said ‘wokes ruined this song’ and I want to start an online argument SO BAD.

Joining us on the Bananaphone, Weird Al!

“You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya’…MONK ?!?” - 15th century, Forteresse de la for, Valenciennes, BM, 0244 (234)

Despite getting a full night's sleep and being in significantly less pain than yesterday I have been LESS productive than I was yesterday. #reallymakesyouthink

The Spooky Pants preorder is LIVE Signed copies at theartofpants.com

Everyone I know south of Carlisle: *crying, screaming, throwing up* Me:

In celebration of both World Dracula Day and Peter Cushing's birthday. 🧛

EXCLUSIVE: Self-checkouts now on antidepressants

Brian Jones, 1969

The Enhanced Games are bullshit. They’re still banning runners from competing using the most powerful drug of all: being in a car

Well, at least they’re poisoning Black people and raising our utility bills for the worthy cause of terrible white rap

One of the most achingly sad signs I've come across

Despite being sleep deprived and in pain I have: Weeded the front drive (by hand) Done laundry Done the washing up AND Mowed the lawn Pat me on the head and tell me I'm good 😭

It's that day again. #TowelDay

BEHOLD GREAT CTHULHU

Idea for next year, contestants go down in giant tyres painted like cheese wheels. Winner is the first to break the land speed record or enter an adjacent county. #cheeeserolling

Mates in London: "Fucking hell it's hot. How's it up your way?" Me:

It's that day again. In the name of Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love, and a Hard-Boiled Egg! #PratchettGNU

Agony™️ kept me up all night, so my plan for today is to drift in and out of consciousness whilst watching the cheese rolling and then maybe being upright for half-hour or so before collapsing.

that's just how it is on this bitch of an earth

My weekend plans did not involve becoming the proud mother of a baby magpie but anyway here I am.

You know that screaming kids do where they could be having a tremendous amount of fun *OR* actively being murdered? That, but I'm listening to a horror podcast and it's creating quite the 360° listening experience.

I’ve done something terrible

My heart ❣️

Went to an anti AI datacentre protest march today and a friend of mine got a picture that summed it all up

Strong possibility, that rather than being autistic I may actually be a vampire. Strong aversion to daylight Specific food preferences Need very clear invitation to enter someone else's home

the hungry observatory

Holding a badger above my head and running around so he can pretend he's an airplane. Just my little way of giving back to the woodland community

How does it keep up with the news like that?

Don't get me wrong, winter in Scotland is *ugghhh*, but I'm seeing mates down south currently melting in 30°C and I'm up here in a light hoodie feeling very comfy and/or cozy.

DINOSAUR CHAT We all know that dinosaurs liked running round and eating each other, but what were their day to day lives like? Here we examine a typical day...

My generation is haunted by the past

For #PhantomsFriday and #WorldGothDay, let's visit the historically significant Arbroath Abbey! Besides the stunning gothic ruins, there are also reports of disembodied plainsong, processions of ghost monks and the restless spirit of Cardinal Beaton, the last Abbot share.google/zA6seZVlYZS9...

The only risk of #WorldGothDay in May is actually nice weather!

Wait a minute...

It's World Goth Day!

...guess what. HAPPY WORLD GOTH DAY, MY LOVELIES!

This parrot has gone to join the choir invisible

If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.

We did it, lads. We banned trans people from toilets. Now to sit back and watch house prices come down and vegetables stop rotting on supermarket shelves and we'll all come together and feast on Cadbury's Creme Eggs as big as your head, m'boy, And we'll watch Morecambe and Wise, who did NOT die