giant pacific octopus at the national aquarium in baltimore 🐙 #photography

“your mon Mothma & your moth Monma”

sometimes I will be sitting minding my own business and my brain whispers "your friend Palpatine & your pal Friendpatine"

for sale: baby shoes cute cartoon kids boys girls baby first shoes toddler walker kids rubber never worn soft sole floor barefoot casual shoes knit booties anti-slip 0-18 months

when you make something lowkey for your fetish and the live/laugh/love people grab it up unironically

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964) 🩵☔️

I saw this at Kohl's yesterday and still haven't recovered

[observing someone’s obsessive passion project] wow i really like whatever’s wrong with that guy

Melissa just referred to Jack Skellington as Jackoff Skeleton by mistake and that's it, that's perfect. Fuck Jackoff Skeleton. All my homies hate Jackoff Skeleton

bookseller: do you need help finding anything? me: (looks at her, then over to the sign at the top of the section that says "self-help," then back over to her) i don't think that's allowed

No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts

one of the grimmest things I’ve ever read, but happily it does contain the phrase “mysterious constellation of brutal practices”

a very happy Death Blart to all who celebrate

all stanning of popes is necessarily conditional, the Church is the Church, but the man said AI won't stand in authentic wonder before the beauty of God's creation so with all our conditions intact yes we stan

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

Throwback to when Jean-Michel Basquiat wrote down my mom's phone number in one of his notebooks and then 30 years later it was displayed in the Brooklyn Museum.

So far Louisa and I have managed to raise $1,574.20 for food banks across the country, and we're halfway through our trivia set. Come watch, gente! Drop a pledge if you'd like, chop it up in the chat. www.twitch.tv/lnpgaceta/

Every time I see some pearl-clutching puritan whining about "problematic literature" I get one step closer to going absolutely batshit insane and writing the most fucked up thing I can possibly think of. I'm so tired. I'm so fucking tired of this milquetoast bullshit that doesn't take any risks.

scream-laughing at the ao3 stats on Materialists (2025) 140 fics and Dakota Johnson's character is in 15 of them????

Just saw a Botox commercial where a woman talked of her “moderate to severe lines” like it was diagnosis “This is the worst part of my job. I’m sorry to tell you that you have stage four crows feet”

"there are no third spaces anymore" wrong. blast furnace

The new location update on X revealed what we've all kinda known all along: Republicans have been astroturfing themselves. www.garbageday.email/p/republican...

For one week only, get my F/F romance advent calendar novella for 99p! Bethan, dragged back to her Welsh village, is desperate to escape before Christmas until she meets new neighbour Mali. One chapter per day from 1-25 December - snap it up now to start reading on Dec 1! books2read.com/u/bPOa0d

this is how you lose the dish war

I misread this image so badly that I can only really hope to illustrate what I saw. ( Also a good excuse for an #art study )

midwest americana

Before the iPhone Pocket, we had socks for our iPods. The set was $29.

Please, my Midwets

sent the typo "midwets" and I think that's my new name for the Great Lakes tbh

help

"Trump is a fucking idiot who gets rolled by anyone who's nice to him" theory remains undefeated, putting someone like Mamdani in there is like having Randy Johnson sub in for a 5th grade Little League game

Look, phone, I *once* typed "the gioididong" when I was trying to get to the Guardian. You really don't have to keep suggesting it.

Dennis Hastert Just Going To Assume He Welcome Back In GOP

movie about looking for used alligator shoes online, call that depop caiman hunters

listening to a guy talk about wines last night, he introduced a wine from Sardinia & asked the group "has anybody here ever heard of Blue Zones" and I politely bit my tongue rather than hitting him with a "well actually" and an entire episode of Maintenance Phase

🌿 weeds in the garden...? #b3d #pokemon #art

Aww he’s being so cute in the leaves this morning, I should take some phot—wait Piroshky WHERE DID YOU GET A MALLET, STOP COME BACK

Turning into my father one "the problem is no one reads enough books these days" grumble at a time

meow

Maya, our elder cat, hasn't been eating very much (there's been many changes here lately) so we got kitten food & are feeding it to her in our bathroom, separate from the other cats. Spouse has a song he sings while she eats it, which goes: 🎵 Secret kitten! Secret kitten! In the bathroom! 🎵

Meanwhile, we're all over here having to know things for work and not getting rich. I should be making millions of dollars to go around telling people I'm working really hard on inventing a new type of semicolon that will improve writing by 32%.

started answering questions at the doctor with "not that I'm aware of" - like if I answer "any allergies?" with "no" and then I have a reaction to something she gives me she's gonna be mad at me for lying

just saw an ad for this and cannot unsee "KMS NOW"

teletubbies? in MY skincare brand?

"I remember when 'Nvidia' was just what a lady whispered before my games would start" "Okay grandma let's get you to bed"

edible mascots infers digestible mascots. in this analysis i will *manager slams my laptop shut*