the elves at the workshop when the Santa Baby woman sends her list again

Don Draper: (answering phone at 2 am) Hello? Conrad Hilton: why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?

Bill Clinton’s lack of character as a pet owner always stood out to me when I found out he rehomed his beloved longtime cat because it didn’t get along with his new dog that he chose to take with him upon leaving the White House and it ended up getting hit by a car in the span of like a year

Expedition Thiwty Thwee? uh, i THINK we missed the fiwst thiwty two! no, but sewiously…

Sivako, my friends. Eywa speaks to those who listen. It is time to return to Pandora to visit our friends Jake Sully and Neytiri and Norm and Tuk and our dear Spider. And what of Payakan, outcast to the Tulkun?

“Look Roger, neither of us liked this movie. Is it so terrible to make the concession that I quite enjoyed seeing all those funny mall mascots band together? I mean I was moved.” “You were moved, Gene? Moved by the Foot Locker logo trying to get Adam Sandler’s character to cry?”

we never found out if he enjoyed food that wasn’t made by a rat or his mother

Popeye: (opening a wrapped can of spinach for Christmas) Ug ug ug just whats me wanted Me: yeah, I asked around and that’s supposedly the best one

I remember doing the deal for Epic Mickey, and Bob Iger shooting laser beams out his eyes at me in the Disney dining room. “Don’t let this video game fuck up Mickey.” Oh well. That’s over.

that's a fitting cover. digital edit overlaying imagery of people who actually performed labor and built things people needed

Bob Iger should be as openly and loudly derided as Zaslav at this point. nothing going on up there in that brain of his other than a need to constantly be shaking hands and putting wet ink on paper for the next big way to creatively bankrupt a century-old creative company.

www.patreon.com/posts/145287... My Patrons voted for me to cover a surprise episode of TV doing the “It’s a Wonderful Life” shtick. So we revisit the Even Stevens episode where Louis Stevens is visited by his magical Bubbe after single-handedly ruining Hanukkah. Join now for just $3!

patreon.com/NothingGoodOn The first of the month is a great time to check out my Patreon blog! We just closed out Thanksgiving with a look at the 2013 film Free Birds. All patrons are equal at the one and only $3 tier that gets you everything, comrade.

Thankful for the grind 📈📈📈this Thanksgiving and that’s no Turkey 🦃 while you were stuffing your face I was stuffing my ₿itcoin wallet while you’re laying on the butter 🧈 I’m buttering up clients who are going to make me 💰💰💰no sweet potatoes just sweet transactions

Frank L Baum giving his Oz lore some of the stupidest names of all time so that 100 years later people have to pretend to swoon when a hot guy in a spinoff musical declares “I’m from Winkie Country.”

Gregg Turkington’s only opinion on the Kennedy assassination would be how rude it was for Oswald to hide from the police in that theater and that “that’s not really what movies are supposed to be used

Wicked Part 2 Jeff Goldblum: Where I'm from, we believe in all sorts of things that aren't true... we call it history. Me in the audience:

battleship earth

keep walking

looked at my kingdom I was finally there

For my Patreon, it’s the season of giving, so I wrote about an episode of Hey Arnold that meant a lot to me growing up. “Arnold’s Thanksgiving” dared to admit to kids that, hey, sometimes dealing with your family sucks. www.patreon.com/posts/143066...

It turns out a 10-month marathon run on Being Evil is bad for your party

Just went to a promotional screening of Bugonia. After the movie, bald people came out as a surprise. But most of the audience booed them.

I’ve become a “don’t even know how to play the game. I just like collecting the artwork” guy

My adult son (who I hate) set an alarm for 7am today. I thought he was finally going to a job but he tells me “Halloween candy is on sale and this is my chance”

Finally got around to watching An Evening With Tim Heidecker and it's genuinely one of the best pieces of performance art I've ever seen. It's incredible. A thoroughly researched masterfully preformed display of everything exhausting about mid standup comedy performed by washed up dads

www.patreon.com/posts/boo-19... My final Patreon entry for October examines 1980's Boo! This obscure special set out to prove that monsters CAN host a vaudevillian variety show. Why does Dr Frankenstein hate Howard Cosell? Why is Dionne Warwick here? None of these questions will be answered!

!!! JUST GOT A POWER SHUTOFF NOTICE ON MY DOOR !!! I need to pay like $450 in past due bills by tomorrow or my power/heat's gonna be shut off. I've been able to have them put this off for a while, but I'm literally out of time. I really need someone's generosity.

One of the bad Willy Wonka kids growing up and running for office only to get visibly mad anytime someone from the press asks them about what happened at the chocolate factory. “I think there are more important matters than my being shrunk inside a television 30 years ago.”

Oh that’s so crazy that kids love the thing that kids have loved for a hundred years.

musicals used to have songs that advanced the plot

It’s too bad the Michael Jackson episode is banned considering it has one of the funniest jokes

This would finally get Gregg politically motivated on the same level as Tim

Really sweet that he makes time for these Make A Wish kids

Turning off the Blair Witch Project after the first night in the woods. My favorite short film about film students who have a fun time camping.

I'm selling my physical media collection to help raise some money. If there's anything in here you like, make me an offer

One of the best portrayals of trying to make plans with your friends in their 30s/40s

Trump getting mad at press conferences in 2026 when journalists ask him why he hasn't been using the new ballroom. "Takes a long time to plan a ball. Long time, lotta people. I could look into how many you've thrown. None. It's a lot of work."

If you haven’t noticed by now, the world is as stupid as it is scary. But it could be worse, you could be up against a troll who wants to turn you into a wooden statue. We revisit 1991’s Ernest Scared Stupid on my Patreon - just in time for Halloween. Join for $3! www.patreon.com/posts/141434...

IT: Welcome to Derry opens with Pennywise getting off a bus holding two suitcases while "If My Friends Could See Me Now" is playing

If you haven’t noticed by now, the world is as stupid as it is scary. But it could be worse, you could be up against a troll who wants to turn you into a wooden statue. We revisit 1991’s Ernest Scared Stupid on my Patreon - just in time for Halloween. Join for $3! www.patreon.com/posts/141434...

Says a lot about society people go to movies to see a long walk. Why not go outside and take a long walk you can do it for real? Leaves are falling and grandmas on benches it’s nice but go to the movies I guess.

I remember finding about time zones in first grade when we asked our teacher about how Nickelodeon or some kids channels would say “8:30/7:30 central”. There was a kid from California in our class and we made fun of him saying “you don’t get cartoons” because he was from PST.

"hey man send me some of those photos from last night. I barely remember anything lol"

JD Vance voice: you pooped on them good, sir

I always liked in Fahrenheit 451 where Montag starts talking more to the neighbor girl who has her antiquated family, then goes home to his horrible wife like “hey I heard about this crazy think where we turn off the tv and talk to each other. Pretty crazy, right? Might be fun.”

I remember 2017 where Trump tweeting an edited gif of him beating up someone in a wrestling ring with a CNN logo over their head was treated as the “this is as low as it gets for the American presidency” moment lmao