I want to go diving again. 😭

when you forget to lock down comments

everybody gets in the holiday spirit a little differently

This entire weekend

It makes me extra sad to know Mel Brooks is sad

Rob Reiner had a hand in writing, producing, directing, knowing a guy, pairing up talents, punching up a script on the down low, doing a cameo for like so much of the funniest shit coming out of Hollywood the last 50 years. His influence is seen everywhere

O, horrible, O, horrible, most horrible!

The cultural impact of Rob Reiner cannot be understated. Legend isn't big enough a word. It goes to 11. You can't handle the truth. As you wish. I'll have what she's having. I'm your number one fan. You guys wanna see a dead body? The very idea of a bucket list. The West Wing. All from his movies.

This has to be one of the greatest runs any director has ever experienced.

the good that you do persists in this world

how did I manage to even have skin in my teens

Wishing you and yours a very happy 100th Dick Van Dyke-mas.

yeah I'm involved in unethical non monogamy. no no, nobody's cheating on anyone else; me and my polycucle just operate a whaling ship.

every single day, my husband sees this ad for “brass crab” and then he spends the rest of the day sneaking up behind me and whispering “brass crab”

Michael C. Rockefeller got shipwrecked in 1963, washed up on an island, and was promptly eaten by cannibals.

get in, no time to explain

Freckle-face Haynes the dog-face boy could absolutely get it

PLURIBUS (2025, dir Vince Gilligan)

I cry like a baby whenever I watch It’s a Wonderful Life because I realize how many people would be crushing it right now if my sorry ass had never existed

This is Charles Clyde Ebbets, the photographer who took the iconic “Lunch atop a Skyscraper” picture. Look at this fearless, dapper fuck wearing spats, suspenders, and a tie 850 feet above the ground. Absolute legend.

I think it’s also true that loneliness among women has historically been treated as an individual problem, while loneliness among men is treated as a societal problem. That, in turn, comes from an assumption that women are supposed to earn the company of others while men are entitled to it.

I wish everything in the world was fixed so the only thing we had to care about was shit like this

i love bridgerton bc the rich person is like “let’s throw a ball” and the other rich person is like “yes let’s” and then like two hours later it is this gigantic affair with a string quartet and 47000 flowers and the entire ton, conveniently none of whom had other plans

“cognitively annihilated by wealth” is the most perfect description I’ve read in a long time

This level of petty is by far the most creative! 😂

it belongs in a fucking MUSEUM

this could be us but ur playin

SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going— SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti— SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE

The grinch who stole thiccmas

I should call him

it's 2025 and the gangly guy who appeared on a few seasons of The Office is now our only mirror to society

Switching from MLA to APA is DEI

Fallon sucked on SNL, too, plus ça change

Jimmy Fallon would host the Hunger Games.

jesu christos everybody shut up about dubai chocolate already fuck

laughing at the Mets for losing Edwin Diaz even though it further charges up the Dodgers death star

today’s affirmation: I am within the acceptable range of deviation. I am a perfectly roasted quail. if I was a car the mechanics would find nothing weird or rodent related in my air filter. I am upright. There are no stones or excess debris in my shoes. I still have all my bones.

The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)

You will be visited by three spirits

that tweet is from 2021 so adjusted for inflation it's $15.73 per hour

this fucking team 😡

I don’t have the bandwidth to be this stressed out about a goddam football game. 🦅💚🦅

Fuck Mobb Deep, fuck Biggie, fuck Bad Boy as a staff, record label and as a motherfucking crew And if you want to be down with Bad Boy, then fuck you too

“You ever dropped acid?” *flashback to the chemistry class accident with my lab partner Gary “No Feet” Johnson* No

god being a philly sports fan is the best

Olive Soundgarden

Chumbawhataburger

(Dixie) Chicks-Fil-A

I had a joke about Greek mythology, but I always tell it wrong. It's my Hercules' heel.