Everything is trash but if I get through this big project in June I'm going to see @themountaingoats.bsky.social outside at a venue I can bike to and my kid will be coming with.

The first photo here is fake. A still from the same moment shows that Trump's head wasn't drooping like that. Also, he'd just adjusted his tie, which is why the guy two to the left of RFK is looking at him. Actual still at right. www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ctx...

Before fans attend a con they should have to go to the Wayback Machine and read about the time someone gave a box of sex toys to the Smallville actors during a signing AND EXPECTED THEM TO BE FLATTERED. Cringe and learn, people. Cringe and learn.

*slams buzzer* THE BRANAGH MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING WHERE EVERYONE'S HOT AS FUCK

There have always been people who fought back.

Something you probably don't really get when you are younger is how much outliving your enemies becomes a big goal

I hope she takes every single cent he has. I hope she takes his fucking DOG.

Just say the N-word, buddy, everybody can hear it anyway. I sat through WAY too many city planning meetings as a reporter listening to people scaremonger about "Section 8 housing" as if that was a nicer way to say it.

Hire this woman to do our messaging and I don't care what kind of half-a-loaf milquetoast human spreadsheet we nominate in 2028, they're gonna sweep all 50 states and Guam.

Astonishing how much of modern political reporting is just declaring in public that you wake up every day with your mind wiped clean.

As he gets older and scruffier it's getting better but his face has always known what an iPhone is.

white suburban wine moms voting for the “hunt all republicans” referendum:

Til the wheels come off, motherfuckers.

I just learned about L. Louise Lucas this afternoon and I'd follow her into hell with a bag of marshmallows.

I cannot handle concern trolling about this. For the past fucking two years people have been screaming on this website for DEMOCRATS TO DO SOMETHING ANYTHING DO IT NOW and now we're supposed to kick back and let a fascist party take even more control of this country, lest we be seen as rude?

What a petty little bitch. They're just all such pissy little shitheads. God.

This is one of those jobs where you just have to accept that the cops hate you and aren't going to change. You can't suck up enough. They'll never let you in their little frat. You might be able to have a working relationship with some individuals but never the institution.

John Kerry won Ohio in 2004.

I would like to introduce you to my dad, maker of silly faces at every baby in a five-mile radius, and my late father-in-law, who spent more time making stupid duck noises at my toddler to make her laugh than I did.

"Journalism is better when it's backed by live markets."

Honestly the most relatable member of this administration.

This is the dream.

One thing about getting really into EDM in my late 40s was coming to terms with being the oldest person at the rave. A kid young enough to be my child offers me a shot of something, I can just say no thank you honey and did you drink enough water today?

Everything is trash but I am married to a man who will take a shop vac and suck up all the dead bugs in the sun room because even dead bugs freak me the fuck out.

WHATS UP YOU WET MOTHERFUCKERS

Look at my foster puppy.

Not everything sucks.

If there is such a thing as a one-man human centipede, it is David Brooks.

You know, it's not so much that this guy exists. The world abounds with stupidity of every kind and it's foolish to expect never to encounter it. It's that this guy gets paid obscene amounts of money to lecture others on how to live their lives while he can't eat breakfast at the airport sober.

Tell your boyfriend If he says he's got beef THAT I'M A VEGETARIAN AND I AIN'T FUCKIN SCARED OF HIM

John Kerry ordered a $4 Yuengling instead of a $3 Coors Light & our political media spent months tarring him as an out of touch elitist

"Frustration with modern dating" is an interesting way to phrase "spent their teen years marinating in a misogyny-industrial complex designed to enrich the right-wing oligarchs profiting off of all of this."

"Did you guys see the raccoon dick thing?" Heavy sigh. "Which one?"

Inventing a time machine just so I can go back and tell my 8-year-old self that she should be working in a toll booth right now.

as far as i can tell pope leo has never mentioned trump by name hes just like “killing people is wrong” or “concentration camps arent good” and theyre all taking it personally

And that's enough internet for me again!

Not everything sucks.

Logged on, and ... Mike Johnson ... that's enough internet for me today.

My bluesky engagement strategy

Guys if I was in Congress under no circumstances would I be sober at any time.

You left out "furious masturbating to '300'" which I honestly think is about 90 percent of it.

Leo has the best resting "ewww get away from me" face.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: A whole lot of our current social and political problems stem from the media deciding their role is to report what powerful and influential people are saying, as opposed to explaining what is happening in objective reality.

i’ve said it before, but way too many people forget how much of the good Gen X art, music, etc talks about how everyone we grew up with are a bunch of fucking assholes

Haunted Victorian Doll says what now?

I spent most of my life watching that preening shitheel Bill Donohue get trotted out on every cable station to represent "outraged Catholics" on some dumb culture war outrage of the week. There are a lot of Catholics in America and most of us are normal-to-good!

Reporters and editors write things like "trade barbs" or "exchanged blows" or "hit back" because they think it insulates them from bias and instead it just makes asymmetrical conflicts seem symmetrical and it's anti-journalism and we should stop.

"I don't know her" but in Latin.

He's signaling to the evangelicals that they can go back to hating us Papists now. Job's done.