"Other experts."

"Who put 50p in the eedjit?"

"A cream horn, Da? A cream HORN?!"

It's Thanksgiving and I'm feeling generous so here's Busta Rhymes and the TMNT

Shoutout to everyone whose cooking-fu has suddenly deserted them. I train for this all goddamn year and kill the yeast TODAY?!

After 30 years in prison and 25 years on Louisiana's death row, Chris Duncan walked out of Angola today a free man. "I'm cruising down a highway," he texted me. "Most glaring emotion is shock."

To be clear Lizza’s story is that Nuzzi sat on important matters of national significance for personal benefit and he’s sat on these details until he could personally benefit. All of DC media needs to be thrown into the sea. Anyone who defends these people is a goddamn clown.

Twas ever thus, of course, but Christ, were they extra shitty about it.

People are doing this to us on purpose for money.

We got a tablet for Kick during early Covid and it's still going strong. She hasn't asked for an upgrade, just uses Mr. A's when she needs functionality for something like animation.

I would demand David Milch's Boss Tweed project.

MOAR! MOAR! MOAR!

This is reinventing journalism! Wrote about these nitwits three years ago, predicting we'd end up ... right here.

If only there was a way for them to redeem themselves. Imagine if every time they went on some stupid political yell-show they were asked WHY AREN'T YOU CAUCUSING WITH THE DEMOCRATS THEN in the same tone Dems are asked about every barista's fucking tweet.

God fucking damn it this is my bike and it has almost 2,000 miles on it and I love it more than my own left breast. I was not planning on buying a new battery this year.

I'm going insane because people constantly recommend using AI for things and it is always, ALWAYS worse than repeatedly bashing my head on a brick. It's like you have an actual problem & all anyone recommends is "have you tried talking to my cousin? He drinks bleach & doesn't wash his pants"

Because if you're an emotionally immature asshole incapable of building a meaningful life for yourself, the best solution is to bring other people into your meaningless immature assholery. "I can fix him" is a JOKE, people!

I'm keeping the ham because I like ham and ditching the green bean casserole because it's nasty. Make a big salad that's delicious instead!

One of my relatives put a sticker on his van depicting Obama in a noose and drove it around to gun shows but go off.

Not everything sucks

Put McCarthy out of his misery, cripes. I'm amazed he can still cut his own food.

That zoom-in on the Vikes fan chugging her beer was BRUTAL.

Crush validated.

This is brilliant

Caturday!

Nope, it's all too stupid, going to the gym.

This is, indeed, the only relevant piece of new information in the Ryan Lizza substack post And it is relevant!!! I have a lot of questions for my former employers at NYMag!!!!!!!

Shout out to all the Big Law Firms, certain Democrats, and all the elite institutions who were rushing to bend their knees back in January/February this year. We didn’t forget.

Trump doesn't remember anything he learned after the age of 8 at this point, and like the Syrian president demonstrated, he will let you get away with murder if you're tall and handsome. Exceptions: (Zelensky, Obama) Trump owes russia and Obama is black.

At a recent gathering of Rogers Park volunteers, we heard from a neighbor who choked up telling us about their dad turning around and going home when he heard whistles up the street. "One of you may have saved his life that day." It all matters, it really does.

"AS A MOM (tm) I'm so glad I have children to give me an excuse to be a horrific bigot! Otherwise I'd have to take responsibility for my garbage opinions and miserable thoughts. I'm trying to figure out a way to blame them for this contouring job, too."

Ken Starr really was doing the most. Like putting his whole ass into the world.

Everything is awful but this morning my kid picked up the larger of the two cats and scolded me for body-shaming him, saying, "Mom, he's not fat, he's family-sized!" So now we have a large cat to share with the whole table.

Every NFL team should have two starting quarterbacks and rotate them during the games so nobody's defense knows what the hell is going on.

Thread.

Other fun things to do if you're white and safe: Drive around with a GIANT Mexican flag sticker on your car, put up anti-ICE fliers on light posts, ask your local coffee shop not to give them the bathroom code, etc etc.

Two thirds of my interactions these days with all technology involves turning off shit I didn't ask for that actively makes my life worse.

I love him. “The first time I caught up to [ICE], I could tell that they already knew who I was. They had seen me before, so they thought they were just going to speed away. I was like, ‘Ha ha, bitches, I got a new scooter!’”

nature is healing, the average senator should think of the average rep as a pissant and the average house rep should go to sleep dreaming about tasting that senator’s blood

When ICE gets to New Orleans

NOLA pals, let me know what you need.

The Great Khan of the Plains receives the mandate of heaven

But but but they'll say Dems are anti-law enforcement!!! EVEN OTHER COPS HATE THESE ASSCLOWNS. The pro-law-enforcement position, if you must do that, is to let law enforcement enforce the law and throw Trump's J6 Proud Boy goons in jail!

But the point (there is a point) is, people fetishise the idea over the hard work of plotting and character development and research and internal consistency and just writing the fucker, because the Idea is the sparkly magic bit. And this is what makes them put value in the AI prompt.

Do any of these "room for grace/redemption" hand wringers ever look at the normies suffering actual consequences from the wingnut puke funnel, or is that consideration reserved for White Citizens Council alums? bsky.app/profile/raph...

Grace and redemption doesn't need to come with a job anywhere. He's rich beyond dreams of avarice and could just go work in a food pantry but this sick narcissistic piece of shit wants to feel important. You have to make amends by doing more than flapping your mouth.

One time, our chat room at First Draft fried the internet in the state of Florida because there were 80 whole people in it at once.

Ooooh somebody's tetchy today.

Chicagoans saying farewell to Bovino:

Not everything sucks.