I had to check if this was true because it is so comically over the top. Yeah, it's real.

Make a Bond movie casual. "It's Okay to Say Never Sometimes."

Good to see Detroit really embracing the Christmas spirit by giving Minnesota SO MANY GIFTS.

He's literally called "His Holiness."

I think he's gonna need more than three ghosts.

He's gonna start posting about how much he loves birds soon.

"Decimate" does not mean "utterly destroy" and if you try to use it that way I will think you are a dumbass. It literally means "one tenth" it's right there plain as day.

This is why the idea of Scott Templeton winning a Pulitzer on an entirely fabricated story was the least believable thing about The Wire and a real drag on season five.

At least this asshole is going to be colder than he has ever been in his life and colder than he even knew was possible.

You've been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who's coming to save you? Well I'm fucked. Most of these aren't even corporeal.

Yeah, the prayer of "Please God don't let me go to prison for all the awful shit I did."

None of these dumb sons of bitches could even find Somalia on a labeled map.

Trump take liquor.

1. No he can't. 2. Fuck him with a pile driver.

Yeah, but they're gonna get a class of ship that was rendered obsolete in 1941. So, you know, trade-offs.

Did a ten-year-old draw this.

What are the odds.

Yes, this. You, the player, have not only the option, but also the OBLIGATION to walk the fuck away from shitty fans. If some asshole jumps out of the stands and comes at you? Sure, fuck him up. Otherwise? Just walk away. You have everything to lose and nothing to gain.

I hope Usha Vance got a good pre-nup*, because he's leaving her ass next year and getting with Erika Kirk because he desperately wants to be the GOP nominee for president in 2028. *lol no I don't, fuck her too, she's as much of a piece of shit as ol' fake hillbilly here

We have made our turn, and are headed back toward the Sun.

ERRBODY IN THE CLUB GETS ACIDITY

This county of 21,000 people went 59% for Trump in 2024.

This lady knows ball like few people.

He will go to Wisconsin Valhalla.

So what I'm seeing is that 45% of Americans are absolute, complete, utter fucking morons.

Trump is sui generis and none of his wannabe successors understand that.

Okay what sad asshole would buy an Archer, Weyoun, or Tuvix toy?

I could never succeed in business because my Achilles' Heel is that I ALWAYS overestimate the intelligence and good sense of the general public.

I refuse to buy this shirt for the sole reason that the yellow category is not "yes you can."

How your e-mail finds me:

An injury to one is, in fact, an injury to all.

Beaver Depot is where I met your mom.

This is nothing short of a miracle. When I graduated high school, an HIV+ diagnosis was equivalent to a death sentence. That this has happened in just a few short decades is absolutely stunning.

This shit, in addition to being reprehensible, is so fucking stupid. Always reminds me of this gem from Our Dumb Century:

But I was told that this was a recent phenomenon that was destroying western civilization.

This is only 24 letters. And "N" is on there twice. And they're not even in proper order.

"Nazis and Klansmen and Christian Dominionists are ALL welcome here!"

Whew, thank white Jeebus. I was SO TIRED of apologizing about that all the time!

Neither is cancer. But with toxic drugs, radiation, surgery both local and radical, immune therapy, palliative care for the afflicted, and noble work by good people we can put it in increasingly manageable cages.

Somebody's looking for that Candace Owens dollar.

I miss the days when you could see names like Thibodeaux, Fontenot, and Hebert on the Saints' jerseys. Not that the teams those people were on were GOOD, mind you. I just liked the regionally-appropriate names.

Note: Does not apply to the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum.

JOSEPH: *holding newborn baby* he’s a miracle MARY: what should we name him *baby shits all over* JOSEPH: jesus christ

We haven't seen Papal trolling like this since the fucking Renaissance.

Ha ha! That Biden sure was old!

Jake Paul pasa a ser el nuevo miembro de la casa de los Austrias

Just to be clear, assuming there was zero inbreeding, 2^13 means you have 8,192 eleven-times great grandparents. Oh, and a LOT of Americans have ten- or eleven-times great grandparents who got here on ships, too. They just, you know, didn't wanna make the journey.

I have no idea how anyone could be nostalgic for the era of iron lungs, little air conditioning, no seat belts, Jell-O salads, the draft, shit beer, and Jim Crow (well I guess I *do* understand why some people are nostalgic for Jim Crow, but I can't understand being that much of an asshole).

I have long wondered how fools and their money got together in the first fucking place.

Know-nothing knows nothing about Know-Nothings.