Introduce yourself with five concerts you've seen P!nk The Struts Bon Jovi Savage Garden Elton John

#VeeMakes Operation Sausage has been a success 🎉 There's definitely room for improvement, but for a recipe I cobbled together and a technique I guessed at, it ain't half bad! Behold, a battered curry sausage:

Sunday is 5 years since I adopted the most ridiculous wobbly little man the world has ever seen. I think you know what has to happen. It's gonna be ✨ SMOL PAUL DAY ✨

There is experimental foodie fun afoot here at House of Vee. Please send any and all good vibes you can spare

You just died. The sixth picture in your phone gallery is what killed you.

timeline cleaning

To be honest the first half of this palindrome is much better than naht retteb hcum si emordnilap siht fo flah tsrif eht tsenoh eb ot.

#VeeMakes At lunchtime, I decided I couldn't really be arsed with cooking dinner tonight and somehow that led to making pizza whirls

I wasn't hungry when I fed everyone else earlier, and yet since then I've eaten two packets of crisps, a bag of mini cookies, a slice of cinnamon focaccia, and half a bag of chocolate pretzels.

The best thing I learned from Macaulay Culkin at last night’s Home Alone screening is that his 4yo son loves the movie, thinks of himself as Kevin, and has no idea that that’s his dad. Culkin is attempting to hide that fact for as long as possible

Wine Money Chop First two are good, last could go either way really

No. Bad supermarket. Stop it.

Made a cinnamon bun focaccia with a maple glaze earlier, and while it is ugly as all hell, it tastes incredible

Breaking Bad is different from what I remember

Once again, I am forced to admit that my children are the most ridiculous people in the world, and it is almost entirely my own doing.

PSA: alt text is not just for the visually impaired, but also for those of us who don’t want to reverse image search your gif to find out what you’re on about

You absolute…

Got knocked up

Pinched from Tumblr...

DOCTOR: How did you hurt your neck? ME: (Thinking back to when I bopped too hard to Phil Collins 1984 hit "Sussudio" in the car while driving to Aldi for Secret Cheese) ME: Sex Games.

the (rail replacement) vengabus is coming and everybody's grumbling some routes have been amended journey times are extended

Is it time yet?

You might not think you needed to see Kate Bush dressed as a bat today, but you were wrong.

Only just found out a mood ring isn't a peri-menopause support group.

Thanks?

Anyway hello

How many lives we live that no one ever knows about.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY

oh, that's... that's not... you can't call it that

Update: 'Husband' was named this week's Star Baker.

#VeeMakes This is Potato Bitch, reporting for duty 🫡

Sing like no one has ears Dance like you can't injure anyone Love like you can't be arrested for stalking

type for books used to be set using little metal letters built into words in racks and then inked and pressed on to paper. If you had stock phrases you wanted to reuse a lot you could make a cast of them called a ‘stereotype’. The sound of them *clicking* into place, in French, is ‘cliché’

Earlier today, I was notified that someone was at my door. This is who it was:

It’s always “YOU NEED YOUR HEARING CHECKED” and never “I’m going to get tested for mumbling”

I've just noticed that the app icon has changed. It looks well weird, I don't think I like it.

Why do baking videos never show the cloud of sugar dust emanating from the mixer when they make buttercream? It's thick enough to choke on when I make it

sorry I didn’t get back to you earlier - I didn’t have time to reply when you first contacted me and since then I’ve been crippled by fears that you hate me because I wasn’t immediately available

How do you get your foot into a tight designer shoe? Lube it on

I'm making sure to enhance my husband's film watching experience by saying, "Is that that guy? From that thing with the other guy? With her from that telly show in it?" every time a new character appears

Why is it dendrochronology and not triage?

List 3 things you think you’re known for, and your followers will tell you if you’re right or wrong x 1) Food 2) Giant Food 3) Moaning

The batch of chocolate chip cookies I was making has hit an unexpected delay caused by me dropping an egg on the floor

The only way I can describe these is weird. The flavour is almost nice, but the texture is just all wrong to carry it

🎵 …couldn’t bescape if I bonted to 🎶

I can't calm my tits because that's where I store my whimsy

I'm good thanks, weirdly suggestive spice mix

I'm not always a big breakfast/brunch eater at home, but the bacon and egg sandwich I just had hit all the spots.