The fash will be painting red crosses in the white areas of England flags next, because they're not patriotic enough. Then red crosses in the new white areas and so on, into infinity. Eventually, they'll end up with a predominantly red flag and realise they've accidentally embraced Communism.

The photo looks like Wahlberg's co-star is saying "Why did you hire this confused piece of wood? Couldn't you afford Matt Damon?"

The 15 worst Mark Wahlberg movies of all time would be exactly the same ones but in a slightly different order.

CHOTINER: So let me get this straight. Anti-racists are the real racists, is that correct? THIEL: right. CHOTINER: and the anti-fascists? THIEL: right, they’re the real fascists CHOTINER: So now you’re saying Greta is the Antichrist. THIEL: … CHOTINER: I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Ah, Soul Provider. #TOTP

Is it a coincidence that Nick Berry retired from acting round about the time Matt Berry's career took off?

Why is Fred. Olsen so insistent about it being Fred DOT Olsen? A bit arsey, if you ask me.

Local news story cliché words and phrases: Hidden gem Cozy Sweet treats Vibrant Yummy Stunning Chocolate box village Any more suggestions, or has that exhausted their lexicon of adjectives?

Tl;dr He's never been asked.

The Everly Brothers

They needed to be careful not to swing any of those keyboards sideways. It would have created a Newton's Cradle effect and knocked the singer offstage. #TOTP

🎶CAN YOU-HOO HE-ERR IT BREAKING THROUGH? *parp* #TOTP

I don't think it's feasible to play a tuba while wearing a fake bird head. I'm not convinced the Tweets were actually playing live. #TOTP

Just when you think boy bands can't get any worse, you find there's Another Level. #TOTP

They liked their stupid little synchronised dances these third rate boy bands, didn't they? Peak 1998. #TOTP

Eagle Eye Cherry there, accompanied by Eagle Eye Terry, Eagle Eye Gerry, Eagle Eye Perry and Eagle Eye Kerry. #TOTP

A couple of questions: 1. Do they have Quorn in the USA? 2. Was Bruce Springsteen involved in the advertising campaign?

If you see this skeet, skeet a pic from your device with no explanation.

I somehow managed to close the washing machine door on my thumb.

I'm amazed at the number of American YouTubers who have Kermit voices. I think the only Americans who can't do a Kermit voice are the ones hired by the Jim Henson Company to do Kermit's voice.

Lou Reed was going to do a follow up to Street Hassle set on Tyneside called Nuke Hassle.

Oswald Mosley could time travel to the US in full fascist regalia, shoot someone while shouting HEIL HITLER and Trump would still say it's the far left's fault.

Phonetically, phonetically would be fonetically.

Fwiw, I've fed this this back to Google and asked them why. I'm not interested in anything that frog faced gobshite had to say and I don't want to see him in my news feed.

Google won't allow me to say that I'm not interested in stories about Farage or Reform.

What's the plural of Portuguese Man O'War? Portuguese Man O'Wars? Portuguese Men O'War? Portuguese Mans O'War? Portugueses Mens O'Wars?

There's some shit hot Japanese jazz funk going down on #NHKWorld J-Melo right now.

Just given a detailed and informative answer on Reddit to someone's question about an imminent visit to England. I just noticed they asked the question 3 years ago.

*in Jawa voice* "Panini!"

Top fact: Sarah Jane Morris is a cousin of American Armistead Maupin. #TalesOfTheCity #TOTP

Tinted safety glasses, there. Ideal for gas welding. #TOTP

[Narrator's voice] Once again, Football did not come home. #TOTP

[Narrator's voice] In fact England did not score one more than you. #TOTP

One time in London in the early 2000s, I saw Ricky Martin coming out of Vidal Sassoon's salon. He'd had his hair dyed ochre to hide the grey. He was living the Vidal ochre.

I picked up a rare book today in a charity shop: "Arithmetic for Beginners". It might be worth something - it's a first addition.

A racist friend of my grandparents once made a ghastly comment about my grandpa's carer. My dad cut in, "It's a shame you believe something like that but if you must believe it, you might master the basic good manners not to say it in public." I thought that was a good way to call it out...

Ape #apes

Here's a list of all the UK government buildings where you get a mild electrical tingle when you touch the door handle. No. 10 will shock you.

Here's a thing. The Canary Islands likely derive their name from the Latin 'Canariae Insulae' which means 'Islands of the Dogs'. Canary Wharf is on the Isle of Dogs but the name has nothing to do with the Isle of Dogs.

I simply don't trust crypto nerds. If it looks like a scam, it probably is. Beware of geeks bearing grifts.

The 250 years old Sarehole Mill museum near Birmingham, famous for its association with JRR Tolkien and how it can become Arsehole Mill by simply moving the 'S' two places to the right.

Up in Edinburgh, there's a statue of a fat pink and yellow creature who died waiting patiently for Noel Edmonds to return. #GreyfriarsBlobby

Eilish McColgan looks massively tall compared to her rivals. I looked up her height and she's 1.75m (5ft 8"). Some of the other runners must be tiny! #GreatNorthRun

Always remember to type "-ai" at the end of all your Google searches. I forgot to this time, and it wasted a ton of water to be as wrong as it could possibly be. The AI revolution is garbage.

David Van Day organises a yearly event for owners of micro campers and other small recreational vehicles. The David Van Day Day Van Day. #TOTP

The Mavericks #TOTP

Why did the palindrome cross the road? To get a map a mate got. #palindrome

Just had an online audition for Countdown: It was an enjoyable experience. How did it go? Let's just say I'm unlikely to become an octochamp and leave it at that.

Boogie men can be either a good or bad thing, depending on whether they want to scare you or just do some funky dance moves.

A Japanese John Osborne comic called 'Look Back in Manga'.