Do I need a puffy vest? I feel like I need a puffy vest.

When someone has a little too much enthusiasm on a Monday morning

Funny how guys seem to always say.. Him: “Beautiful and KNOWS sports” like do you men hear yourselves As if only men can appreciate sports And they think their condescending words make us all giddy M: “Wow idiot and misogynistic”

Put Patti Smith’s version of “Because the Night” on your crush’s playlist. For subtlety.

If you keep saying that your life was on inside out the whole time you're gonna start believing in tags

The only time I've reacted the same way as the reactor is reacting in his reaction video. (Alt text probably won't work so: this is a guy reacting to a jelly masterpiece being made. Video by richardsalesofficial on IG)

🎶….Korma Police….arrest this man..🎶

"We want the facts to fit the preconceptions. When they don't it is easier to ignore the facts than to change the preconceptions." Jessamyn West. "The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants." Omar N. Bradley.

Driving In Haddington 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 on Friday and got caught behind a tractor with a load of leeks. The smell was amazing, put me in the mood for some soup. Anyway sent this picture to my mate Paddy, who installs heating systems and wrote, “not seen this amount of leaks, since yer last instal”.

sunday gloomies can kiss my arse

So of course you were right not to tell the mysteriousness that it was misbuttoned, I tend to miss the point of mysteriousness

Thinking of buying an e-bike conversion kit, for a penny farthing, just to scare the bejeezus out of folk at night. Imagine one of them whizzing past you, in stealth mode?

my japanese maple understands the value of being fashionably late

Wish I could make people with “Only You” accounts understand how much richer the media experience is by sharing other voices not their own To bask in a community you make and build The kinship The learning The humanity The joy The sorrow The laughter Tear down your walls,Only You Come join us

Mean streets

Moving on to urineposting now.

If someone tells you you're an absolute godsend, remember they may mean like a plague

"We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do." Olin Miller. "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there." Lewis Carroll (Charles L. Dodgen). "I don't think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that remains." Anne Frank.

Let’s make this Bauhaus a Bauhome.

When do you think, we’ll all grow out of this?

Everything was already possible, modern times doesn't even need itselves. I asked the muses if it was okay to say it that way and they hired a muse of red underlining

Post something random for the collective amusement.

Touch grass you said It will be fun you said Sure I said what’s the worst that could happen (severe allergic reaction and $200 fine)

Couldn’t help but notice you have clean manicured fingernails me flirting

celebrating the end of another workweek by shifting into my weekend form of a potato as is tradition

Night Bluesky. #StayKinky

Your pin number should be three months salary but no one gets moneyed anymore

Marsupials are called that because when they’re finished eating their soup, that they keep in their pouch (that’s what that’s for BTW) they all shout out, “..more soup y’all..”! And the name just stuck. Google it.

My panic room is just the space under my bed where I've hidden a box of emergency snacks.

early to bed early to binge forsake sleep instead wake up with a whinge

If it was over then, it's not all over now. In confetti terms it's celebrate continuously. Be regretted, be all over the place, be too impossible to be all gotten. Floors though. Like I'm not living cluttered to the fullest

Longniddry. 💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Post something random for the collective amusement.

I predict a celebrity will die before the end of the year.

I need a reverse intervention, where all my family and friends encourage me not to be so responsible, stop paying my bills on time and start taking drugs. I need to hear how being a boring bastard, is positively impacting their lives.

Refuses to buy anything, unless clean up’s a breeze.

who you are when you're licking the large serving spoon that you've just used to plate up your dinner of hot, buttery, pasta shells with fetta cheese is the real y- mmmm delicious cheese... 🤤

You don't realise how dull your life is until someone asks what your hobbies are.

Past performance does not guarantee future results. *Disclaimer for all my posts.

Asked an elderly gentleman, whose house I working in today, what these birds were? Told me they were a Parliament of rooks, he said he tried to count them once and got to 80. Love talking to old folk, you learn loads. 💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

at least tomorrow is not Monday

I just read that this full moon will bring tons of money to Pisces, so yeah, my time has come. Totally unrelated, I’m not a Pisces. But I read it, so it counts.

"That's the thing about books. They're alive on their own terms. Reading is like traveling with an argumentative, unpredictable good friend. It's an endless open exchange." Alice Smith. "Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius." Edward Gibbon.

Every mistake comes with a little disguise it makes a show of reaching for, it's up to you whether you say french maid or I just forgot your birthday and your modesty

Horror films with the plants. They haven't exactly strangled with tendrils the psyche of the modern trellis goer but I won't stop thinking of them like was I even raised on growing? "No more coffee for the both of us" laughs flytrap

no matter how upset i am, when i throw my phone in anger i make sure it lands on a soft place

Me: So the wheel turns once more and with unasked questions on our lips and unspoken thoughts in our minds we dance this dance of futility in the hopes that it all has meaning Thursday:

I’ve insomnia..you’re welcome