The joy in this picture was short lived.

Had a 737 in for an engine change today! Benny said he’d get onto it after he got back from the pub. Should be about ready to go now.

Very honoured. We had Samuel L. Jackson in Duty Free today to launch his new language course. Lovely fellow.

Beautiful picture from Betty, 86. Last night’s sunset in the Andalusian Mountains. Nature is amazing. Safe back Betty.

Damn. A chameleon has escaped from quarantine and is going crazy, biting people in Departures. If only there was a way of calming it down? Like, with music. So it became calmer. Like a calmer chameleon. A much calmer, calmer, calmer, calmer chameleon.

Just in from Gavin, the airport vet, paddle boarding with dolphins off Santa Barbara. His affinity with animals is almost telepathic. Marvellous.

Very happy to launch RyanAir’s new lie flat Business Class today.

There's 50% off at our ‘Foreign Exchange’ kiosks. Not the commission, the value of your money after you've exchanged it at airport rates. #Kerching

Let’s focus less on ‘catastrophic bird strike,’ and more on today’s special in our Food Court, delicious shredded duck with a jet fuel jus.

Can't wait for the Winter Olympics. Last time out, Team GB took a £342 million investment behind them and converted it into 2 medals. For curling. That's airport value right there. #Proud

It's amazing to see our sniffer dogs in training. I think this one's performing CPR.

I love those posts that end with ‘…wrong answers only.’ That’s exactly how we train our Information Desk staff.

Wonderful. Picture just in from Brian, 47, enjoying the winter sunshine in Anguilla. Very jealous Brian. Marvellous.

I really miss Sue from catering. She moved to Thailand a while back and I often wonder if she settled in okay.

If you play this clip backwards, this kind man fixes 10 screens using only a hammer.

Travel Hack: Flying Business Class on British Airways? You can now upgrade and save money at the same time. Simply book an economy seat with any other airline.

I can only offer our sincerest apologies on behalf of the Airport Police and assure you that our training protocols have been updated.

Such a shame. A lady with a large carry on bag tumbled backwards on an escalator. Unfortunately it was an up escalator so she's been doing somersaults for the last 20 minutes.

Please be aware that we are now entering suitcase breeding season. You can always identify a case on heat because it sheds its skin. Do not approach, as they can be very territorial and have been known to attack.

I don’t know why people share their Wordle score on here. I mean, it’s not much of an achievement is it?

Earlier on today a guy in our VIP lounge walked over to Piers Morgan and punched him in the face. I contacted the police and ambulance service, but he left before either arrived. That was a waste of two 2nd class stamps.

Going through a difficult time with your partner? Finding it hard to communicate or make yourself understood? Maybe we can help? Why not book one of our restaurants for Sunday lunch? Nothing says ‘it’s dead and over’ like eating in an airport.

Right, that's the pilot refresher course done, next job...

So sweet, the engine cowling is waving goodbye to the airport.

We've been working with Boeing to help design the interiors of Ryanair's new 737s. They're going to love it.

Looks like the 12:35 from the Outer Hebrides is in.

Smashing. Kevin, aged 7, from our Little Flyers Club has won our model making competition! His mum was so proud, she ran out the room screaming when he revealed his amazing dinosaur creation. Marvellous.

Short notice I know, but does anyone fancy going to a beach house in the Maldives this weekend in a private jet? I’m looking for someone to join me for a month. Message fast if you’re interested. Must have a beach house in the Maldives and a private jet, otherwise you're just wasting my time.

The new cleaner started today! Hopefully she's going to be a lot better than the las...oh ffs.

Some people are just so cruel. I left 2 cinema tickets to Melania on the dashboard of my car. When I got back, someone had put the window through and left another 4 next to them.

Do you need some me time? A place where you can just be by yourself, with no chance of bumping into anyone else? A huge facility that’s built for hundreds, but no one except you will be there? A place you can sleep deeply? You do? Then simply buy a cinema ticket to see ‘Melania.’

I just have this feeling that the staff in this hotel don't try very hard.

Emirates are going apeshit about our new First Class shuttle. No idea why.

We've had a few teething problems with our new young Valet Parker, but it seems to be sorted now.

Can you spot the mechanical issue here? If you said the engine is running a little rich, you should apply for a job in our maintenance department.

Told the new trainee that the rope was a pull start. He's been trying to fire up an A320 for the last 40 minutes. Bless.

Had my annual physical today. Doctor said I was fine but to be aware that Mercury was in Uranus. I told him I didn’t believe in astrology. He said neither did he, but he'd had an accident with his thermometer.

A tragic love story in two pictures.

Delighted to be showing the very latest releases as part of our inflight movie offer.

Just talking to a lovely couple in our pub who are visiting for a week. Although reading their shirts, I think they both want to try very different things on holiday.

Jus du Brun, yes. Or rather, Oui.

Hipsters, why not try our brand new, upmarket sushi bar? Our generous raw fish pieces are much bigger than you'd expect. They're also covered in batter, then deep fried and served with chips. #Fusion

I see Heathrow are still using landmarks to help pilots navigate their way in.

Delighted to have won the catering contract for Ryanair. With hindsight, a barbeque wasn't the best idea.

Flight Fact: The reason aircraft toilets suck waste away using a vacuum is because if they blew, you’d get covered in shit. Idiot.

I wouldn't tell anyone if I won the lottery, but there would be signs.

This is a disgrace. When planes kept in captivity become sad, their fins flop over to one side. This one is clearly depressed and needs to be set free. Do the right thing Delta.

After rolling 10 metres down a bank then dropping into a river, getting stuck in the mud and nearly drowning, he's rethinking his life's choices. Yes I went in after him. How's your day?

Wetherspoon's toilets are getting ridiculous.

That's the 16:30 in from Miami, full of American tourists. No chance of stopping that.