Travel Fact: The Japanese flag is also a very accurate pie chart of how Japanese Japan is.

Coka Cola are going apeshit about the branding on the new promotional concession we designed for them. No idea why.

There's nothing worse than having a lovely quiet meal then someone really annoying tries to interrupt. You try to ignore them, and drop hints they're not welcome, but they still keep trying to start a conversation. I hate anniversaries.

My guess is that Bob from Freight does have some regrets.

Need a hearty breakfast? Why not try the Vegan sausages in our Food Court?

There are some huge lines in Customs this afternoon. Seizing cocaine has its perks.

A passenger complained that they found something truly disgusting in their in flight meal. We've investigated, and it's the in flight meal.

Air China really go the extra mile for their 1st Class passengers.

Historical Fact: Between March 1946 and August 1947, our airport was used for housing prisoners of war. This taught us everything we know about handling passengers today.

Haven't seen Betty from Housekeeping for a while.

When visiting places in Amsterdam, I strongly urge you not to make the same mistake I did.

Teamwork makes the dream work. Well done everybody.

Such a shame about Chuck Norris. The only man an airport WH Smith ever gave a discount to. #RIP

I have man flu and I’m still tweeting. In case you were wondering where the Nobel Prize is going this year.

Just finished a film for our shareholder presentation! After the bit on record profits and enormous management bonuses, this shows what we're giving staff.

🎶If you like Piña Coladas (only £29), And gettin' caught in delays, You will shop in a WH Smith, Now you're poor with half a brain, If you like rubber gloves at midnight, Between the dunes of your bum, We’re the airport that you've looked for, To miss your plane to the sun🎶

Just going to a party for one of our pilots who suddenly decided to retire early. No reason.

Delighted to have won the catering contract for British Airways 1st Class! Even happier that’s it’s part of our prisoner rehabilitation programme.

I'm just about to have an Emirates Airbus A380 shower! Hopefully they won't miss it because it really suits my bathroom.

No way that aircraft is moving.

The investigative skills of our customs officers is unbelievable. As is the case here, only a highly trained, eagle eyed Custom's Officer would notice that the bag this passenger was carrying felt just a little off. Can you tell what tipped them off?

The reason Air Traffic Control towers have glass angled at 15 degrees is because if it was brick, no one would be able to see out. Idiots.

Police have just told Kevin in Air Traffic that it looks like his girlfriend has been hit by a truck. Kev said looks weren't everything and she had a nice personality.

Fact: The most air miles ever collected in one year was by a Miss Lisa Stansfield in 1989. It was because she had been around the world multiple times to find her baby.

Good news, looks like we've got Air Conditioning on our Shuttle Bus.

Had a meeting with Ryan Air today! We confirmed the location in London, then went to a hotel 80 miles away in the middle of nowhere and waited.

We’re still experiencing severe delays on the supersonic service to New York. This is mainly caused because a replacement for Concorde hasn’t been built yet. Please remain at the gate.

A very successful 'frozen chicken through a jet engine' test today! Unfortunately, the Civil Aviation Authority want to know why there's a 737 in the chilled food aisle of our minimart.

Just been asked if French Air Traffic Controllers are on strike.

That’s the Air Ambulance just back in. They save so many liv…oh ffs.

Top Tip: Make Passport Control feel like a music festival by waving a lighter in the air and singing ‘Angels.’

Just been chatting to Kev in Air Traffic. He was late in because he dropped his Gran off at a spa where those tiny fish eat all the dead skin. It's £50, but still way cheaper than a funeral.

Just back from the launch of Ryanair's posh new à la carte menu. Looks amazing.

I do hope Trump and Vance said thank you. While wearing suits.

Just reading here that Pete Hegseth has said that 'today will be the most devastating day of all for the regime.' The documentary 'Melania' opens in cinemas across Iran. #WarCrime

Just watched a parallel landing with two planes coming in side by side. Great skill from the pilots, absolutely amazing to see. Such a shame we only have one runway. #Delays

An American tourist has just complained about our Sushi Bar. He said the portions were reasonable, but they were incredibly hard to chew. I had to tell him he was at a luggage carousel.

The aircraft carrying the Bermuda National Orchestra has just landed. They can’t find the bloke who plays the Triangle.

Benny in Maintenance upgraded the screens on a Garuda Indonesia plane and the pilot's just been going livid. Says they've lost all cockpit data because of turbulence. No idea how that can happen.

Dear America, I'm 100% certain that the newly elected Ayatollah is currently at 25 Shore Road in Brighton, so let your bombers know ASAP. That is absolutely not my ex's address.

That's the new Valet Parking bays done, next job.

Why not treat yourself to some designer sunglasses? Tom Ford has nipped to the loo and left his on the bar. Be quick.

Please help. For only £3 a month you can adopt an economy passenger. Help us stop the brutal and inhumane way we treat them by donating today. You’ll receive a framed picture of your very own economy passenger and regular updates as to where their luggage might be. Thank you.

I wonder where Trump gets his speech ideas from...

I prefer mine with a squeeze of lemon.

Want to see how much things will cost in 2050? Simply shop in an airport WH Smith today.

Love all things Army? We have some great new commorative patches in our gift shop.

People can be so unbelievably kind. A guy collapsed in Departures and the only thing he wanted to do was give me his EpiPen. He was absolutely determined that I have it. I will always treasure it and remember him.

We safely store your most personal things in the cloud*. *cargo door blew open on the 16:05 to Alicante

When I ask my girlfriend how she feels.