🎵 Al-al-alamo 🎵

An unidentified man dressed in a Batman costume angrily confronted Santa Clara city officials during a joint meeting of the City Council, city authorities, and the Santa Clara Stadium Authority on Monday, using his public comment to condemn the city’s stance on cooperation with ICE.

*grinding up my morning meds with the coffee beans to save time*

I learn a lot by accident.

today seems like a good day to lay on the couch and dissociate

Not AI "artists" watermarking their stuff to make it look more legit Bitch go home, you're an artist until your subscription to the theft machine expires

fuck off with that Van Hagar shit broski this is a Diamond Dave household

we are like this it's true

The wealthy have class solidarity and we'll only beat them when we have it too

just realized that at my age I will be tired for the rest of my life

I also hate politics but I hope you’re feeling how much it affects you. Learn civics. Learn it learn it. They’ll take your property, your identity. They can’t exist without us. Fuckem all

A lot of political accounts block me and I just want to remind them, it’s ok to laugh and be silly sometimes. We are all angry and scared and jokes are the way we stay sane in these times. Block if you must but find your outlet and let yourself feel something other than fear, anxiety and anger.

I don't trust no boil noodles and you shouldn't either

I would have been a marathon runner if I didn’t prefer sleeping in and sitting on couches.

one day I hope to use the bathroom without an audience of cats

wish ppl would stop dying and stuff

she's a 10 but makes the dial up internet connection noise when she orgasms

Maybe we need to start throwing bad people into active volcanoes to get some of that hope flowing again.

THEY DID IT. EVERY SENATE DEMOCRAT just voted on an amendment to DEFUND ICE (rescind the BBB slush fund that keeps ICE open during a shutdown.) This amendment failed, but it shows broad support! KEEP CALLING and make it a demand to vote for the DHS funding bill!!

It is becoming impossible to distinguish between sarcastic criticisms of terrible A.I. and genuine praise of terrible A.I. so please, for the love of God: STOP USING GENERATIVE A.I. TO CREATE AWFUL THINGS JUST TO POINT AT THEM AND LAUGH AT HOW AWFUL THEY ARE.

I hate when Ben kills his father in "the force awakens". It was heartbreaking to find out my hero, Han Solo, had not been preparing for the day his son tried to kill him since his birth. Do you know how many mechanisms and code words would have to fail for my son to slay me? Awful parenting, Han!

I'M BRINGING POTATO SALAD, TONY.

Shall I compare thee to a fucking jerk

I just hit 4000 follows and I'm honestly very concerned about fitting everybody into my backyard for my annual follower cookout at this point.

it's a brand new day let's get to it people!

I am so excited to not watch Melania's movie that I'm not watching it right now and will be not watching it all weekend!

When a pig gets an abrasion he puts on some oinkment. It's called Neosporkin.

Deeply inevitable, entirely predicted, and the shit people running this country don't give a damn.

My shitty sleep schedule is none of your concern. That’s between me and my shadow people.

me: doris, what to you think of the latest economic data? doris:

when i repost you, i make sure i take a second to admire our avis next to each other

My mom said you guys need to start reskeeting my jokes more

Still disappointed that "alleged" doesn't mean "with legs"

it's a word specifically for centipedes and millipedes because they're all-legged meaning no parts without legs

These CBP agents didn’t grow up watching An American Tail and it shows.

ICE Agent Stuffs Sock Under Mask To Give Himself Chin

For example the video yesterday of "ICE IS GASSING A DAY CARE RIGHT NOW!!" is the daycare right up the street from my house. I about shit my pants and raced out the door until I saw it was actually from Saturday. I already dealt with that daycare gassing, thank you. Please don't lie to me for likes

many such cases

putting these Bluesky invite codes out on ebay let’s see what happens

Seems to be fine. wiki.icelist.is/index.php/Ma...

Protest sign in Minnesota today...

"getting outside your bubble" is an admirable thing when it means trying a new hobby or introducing yourself to your neighbor or watching an art film but people only want to apply it to "being a little more racist just to see how it feels"

If I could have any super power from a video game it would be having food heal my body and not just my emotions.

We need to talk about the rise of "smol bean fascism" where you have all the guns and the immunity but the really scary people are the ones with whistles and phone cameras and they're giving you generational trauma and ptsd by filming you killing people for no reason

HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA WANT TO MAKE YOU RANDOMLY PACE FOR AN HOUR WHILE YOU ARGUE VIA TEXT

Why even be a couple if you're not going to plan a heist together?

Writing out thoughts then deleting them

I just want to lie in a slightly creepy manor, in front of a fireplace whilst an old clock ticks away

once again participating in wednesday against my will

My circle is so small, I talk to myself and laugh.