fireworks are for wimps which is why I’m in a field throwing a hot dog in the air and shooting it with a gun

I know I’m old because the “tapping forefinger and thumb together in a kind of odd applause” I keep seeing in videos is making me increasingly annoyed — what is that. why.

Universal parenting. #grickledoodle #ET #spielberg #parents #cartoon #art #drawing #funny #humor

don’t forget to ✨moisturize✨

It's almost 10 and the sun is STILL FUCKING OUT,,, FUCK OFF!!!! This is why fall is the best season

In lieu of healthcare please enjoy another fly-over.

actually, i have the Mandate of Heaven i just choose not to use it because im humble like that

I heard they’re gonna set the night on fire. seems dangerous.

Rambo time

May we truly get there one day.

Ooh, you said beat the ~heat~

Barbarian(2022)

Isn’t this the plot of Snowpiercer?

Pausa de relaxacion

i do think making a snack mix with only your favourite treats is an activity more people should get in on — so many possibilities!

makin trail mix but it’s really just couch and desk mix because I’m not goin ANYWHERE today

always saw the man on the Tapatío bottle like a father figure

Canada Immigration email: Log in to see the status of your application! Canada Immigration Website: Your login is incorrect or your profile is deleted Canada Immigration Website when requesting password reset: Our system is down Canada Immigration Phone Number: We’re closed :)

Antrim Hills, Northern Ireland, 2024.

God forbid a big boy has a hobby

what kinda curds ya got there, my good sir?

that mulberry bush had seen some SHIT; the monkey chasing the weasel was one of the less interesting occurrences tbh

Reminder to folks in Malaysia (and probably elsewhere!!) to request for a recalculation of your electricity bills if they seem way above normal. I just had to do this and turns out I WAS RIGHT!

CEOs everywhere like: “hey, you remember rent? What if we did that, but for everything?”

seein a band I’m not very familiar with this weekend and I don’t have enough time to memorize their discography AND reacquaint myself with the main act’s — decisions, decisions! 💀

I don’t withhold compliments. If I have enough rapport with a person to know they’d want to hear it from me, I’ll tell them everything I like about them every single day. If their head gets “big”? GOOD. I like self-esteem. I want them to feel as good about themselves as I do about them.

normalMagic 2.0 is here 🥳 #b3d

I promise you if you stop worrying about being cringe you can experience stuff with a full heart.

[three stooges voice]: oh, a wife guy, eh?

I may not know much about my family’s history but I’m having a difficult time accepting that my ancestors were four bears.

How will I dashingly scoop a beautiful woman into my arms with these PATHETIC MUSCLES

I need an app on my phone for this dishwasher? Stop. Just stop.

honestly? I don’t have anything to say I just like typing

I don't need group chats, I need a function that automatically deletes my post after an hour or so

It's funny to me when discussing the latest SpaceX crash you now have to specify whether you're talking about the stock price or another rocket.

Went for a little hike today

I won't be buying a PS6, half the reason I've bought console was the dvd/bluray player

I'll eat an M80 and shit the explosion

Happy Canada Day from the Great White North! 🇨🇦 Grateful to be here and for all of the wonderful people I’ve met! Starting over in a new country definitely has its setbacks, but I feel lucky to have had the opportunity ❤️🤍 Here’s hoping next year I get to celebrate as a Canadian Citizen 🤞🏽💌

My two favourite things

Watching the Damian McCarthy trio since our Canada Day Pool Plans were rained out — the thunderstorm adds to the ambiance!

i want to climb into these photos and spend my weekend lookin around

I got to be here today 😍

Pretty fucked up that we expect women not to have little mustaches when a whole lot of us are very good at growing them.

Romcom of the meet-cute between the gay best friend and the love of HIS life that’s normally the side story to some chaotic straight wedding which this time has to just be in the background of the story.

Pride Month is ending 😔 …but Wrath Month is starting 😈

CDC data says 41.1 cm. Reflecting pool is 51 x 619 m. You could fit 124 x 1506 / 3260 dudes (packed tight) around the pool. 300 ml is the average bladder capacity at which your average cis man feels the need to pee. Everyone pounds some gatorade and pees at once they can put 978 L of pee in.

I’m not angry, it’s just fun to stand with my hands on my hips