ME [SUSPENDED FROM HOOKS AND CHAINS]: you like this too, yeah? like, hurting me is a good time for you? PINHEAD THE CENOBITE [WINCING]: am I not being enthusiastic? I said all that stuff you suggested ME [FLESH STRIPPED FROM BONES]: I’d just love to feel like this was your idea

in honor of pride month the quaker oats guy is Bi for the month of june .

Brianna Wu announcing she's leaving the Democrats for an "uneasy alliance with Republicans" because "Israel's enemies are my enemies" is utterly bonkers because SHE'S NOT EVEN JEWISH, SHE'S JUST SUPPORTING GENOCIDE FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES

Amazing that the Iranian military, which has been obliterated and destroyed like no military has ever been destroyed before, somehow shot down our "highly sophisticated Apache helicopters".

New frontiers in AI sanctions: ALL attorneys on BOTH SIDES of a case in the N.D. of Mississippi were thrown off the case for using AI. www.courthousenews.com/wp-content/u...

They put a swim diaper on yoda but he was too top heavy and got stuck upside down and drowned. And his poop got everywhere

What a loser. Glad Sandra bullock left him for me. We are getting married as soon as I send her $100k

he is smoking rocks out of a lightbulb and running full speed into an office building plate glass window like ben stiller in permanent midnight right now

suddenly remembered this amazing screencap by @pftompkins.bsky.social

apparently the Mexican government has backed a new super cheap EV van, 100 percent made in Mexico, that looks sick as hell www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

"the pope has hoes" no he didn't stop saying that (reading through the pope's declaration of butlerian jihad) if the pope has no hoes, then i am dead

5 – 10 years in a cyberpunk world & I still haven't seen a single beautiful woman irl just sort of sitting or laying around looking all philosophical with a tangle of wires emerging from her back

Congratulations to comrade Trump for finally working to break America's dependency on oil

Gene editing my child's embryo but just so they become the best super Mario Brothers speedrunner of all time

Yup! I'll get right on that.

she was iran’s 13th reason why

Explaining to my buddy at his first no loads refused cumdump gangbang: just remember what Mister Rogers said. Always look foe the helpers

Normie adults: nobody ever prepared us for how much time we'd spend as adults packing down cardboard lol Captain planet: are you FUCKING with me

Trans person: I am Trans Society: ok Doritos: we are the official flavored Tortilla chip of Formula 1 Racing

A gleaming Donald Trump hits "the Blanka pose" during a TV interview. Electricity pops and sizzles visibly around his heaving form as he prepares to complain about the way he is talked about on television.

PC-98 developers were like "Okay, I guess we're making ANOTHER porn mahjong game. Hire the best pixel artist in Japan"

Akinator: is your character a person from the real world Me (smugly): kind of Akinator(miming thinking): has your character been above the convenience store Me: oh fuck you man Akinator: is your character the jumping man? Me: you know what man? Fuck you, fuck this,

(guy who just learned the word nondeterministic) dude last night was so nondeterministic lol

Amazing story about how Starbucks launched a "Tank" marketing campaign in South Korea on the anniversary of a massacre by the military.... including a slogan referencing the beating to death of a student. AI did it. Emails were signed off unread by managers www.theguardian.com/world/2026/j...

hairless chewbaccas for han solos with allergies. just a big pink fleshy naked guy strutting around yelling

buffalo wild wings is buffalo normal wings to a fucking freak like me

Lmfao whoops

so, re the questions about Why, the screwworm had actually broken containment at the end of 2024 and an emergency plan was in place to halt spread (www.aphis.usda.gov/news/agency-...) but then the agency, APHIS, running it got DOGE'd (www.npr.org/2025/05/03/n...)

With Martin Scorsese's 'Absolute Cinema' dead in the water. I propose the superior Willem Defoe alternative.

This is my favorite Bethany moment

Naming my son Trumpkillah and letting nominative determinism do the rest

i love this image so much

NEWS: A @lawfaremedia.org report finds that *97* Jan. 6ers who received clemency for their role in the attack were arrested, charged, or convicted of subsequent crimes—a number much higher than previously reported. Incredible work by @katherinepomps.bsky.social www.lawfaremedia.org/article/the-...

google has injected its gemini AI bullshit into our google docs and i just highlighted an article i wrote and told it to "refine" to see what it would do and it deleted the entire thing

Trump just announced for pride month that all future ceasefires will now be non-bindary! #wow

It’s now a crime to forestall scurvy

Well, it happened again. I got put on the jumbotron at the grocery store and everyone booed my groceries

Wife just put me on a PIP (penis improvement plan)

The cows are out of beef. It's time to freak the fuck out

If youre looking at this troubleshooting guide, you've really fucked up

We literally have had a program of releasing millions of sterile male screwworm flies a year into the Darien Gap in order to prevent it from expanding northward into Mexico. What happened to that program under Trump? Who the hell knows--but welcome to screwworm! These guys are absolutely nasty.

SSHHHIDDDD!!!

This is real btw

this man can unite america

Ok Rob, I can respect that