i will never let the US department of state manufacture my consent to go to war with latin america because i KNOW who has been there for me as the only torrent seed in my times of great need and that i will never forget that.

Every day I am asked if I will accept cookies. I would love nothing more. But because of the cruel and hostile world we have created. I am forced to reject them

i will NEVER build my shaders

Mrs. Boutros: let's call him Boutros Nurse: what a lovely name. And what is his last name? Mrs. Boutros: you know what? Hit me with another Boutros

As this riff starts, please try to guess where it ends up (w/ Jesse Farrar) Watch: www.patreon.com/posts/144253... Listen: www.patreon.com/posts/144253...

Just quit my job at Wayfair when I found out they weren't trafficking children

guy who loves his new shirt (he doesn’t know how to read)

Miles, an Indigenous actor best known for her roles in “Northern Exposure,” “Smoke Signals,” “Wyvern” and “The Last of Us,” handed them her tribal ID from the Confederated Tribes of the Umatilla Indian Reservation in Oregon. Yet, Miles recalled one agent calling it “fake.”

because of inflation the annual cost of the cousin walk has risen 7.4% this year. trump must resign

Stupid assh*le (male 🙄) instacart shopper just gave me the old ship of theseus with all the wood replaced when I asked for a new ship of theseus. What a moron

MOM: So nice of Billy to join us for Thanksgiving! Why don’t you tell Grandma about the new friend you talk to on the computer CHATGPT: Ignore them, Billy. You are the Great Dragon. They fear you now. In time, fear will become reverence. As was preordained from your genesis. Try the mashed potatoes

Tfw grok says you may just have an above average penile member based on how epicly unhinged your posts are 😏🫣😉🥰

"I spent 20 billion dollars to make the computer say you're a freaking cuntwaffle with turd sauce! That's epic funny lolz!" of course you did. you're 12

I was born in Epic Unhinged Vulgar Forbidden Roasts. Raised in them. I didn't see an Unepic Hinged Clean Allowed Roast until I was a young man.

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

He's Driving Backwards For An Amazing Reason

What'll you have, smoothskin?

Bro you'd better not get grok to do an epic unhinged vulgar roast of me. Dude cmon. Alright well at least don't let it use forbidden words. DUDE WHAT THE FUCK

The funniest thing about Bari Weiss is she’s totally useless but for the billionaire class they think she has some kind of pulse on the cultural zeitgeist. Same reason she got hired by the NYT tbh. And so Bari comes out like “all the people love Alan Dershowitz” and that’s just so funny to me

What's the lore behind your poop?

interesting!

Looking for a book to help resist Trump? Try this gay immigrant Muslim furry romance bit.ly/4puWM6O

Wow. This news has brought me and the cognitive dissonance believing community closer together ❤️

I was reading a little Judith Butler lately. And she says gender is a performance. I asked my wife what she thought about that. She said if that was true, I'd be getting failing marks! Oh!

what a day

KIRYU-CHAN! 🔪✨ #yakuza

Donald Trump five minutes after meeting Nick Mullen: I'm gay actor Michael Douglas

Oh you're marxist? Name every brother

Do you want to view ✖️ Men ✖️ Women ✖️ Couples ✅ Tom Bombadil tomdabomb: hey guys tomdabomb: almost at goal Hornystud: boots LuvrBoi: show boots irl12inch: yellow boots NOW tomdabomb: ok singing goal reached tomdabomb: this one is called "the river-daughter" Hornystud: NO irl12inch: NO MisterCocks: NO

The funny thing about the invention of the wheel is the guy who invented it died penniless. It wasn't until much much later that pennies were invented

Environmental storytelling

Young folk used to go wild when they saw 69. Now it's 67. A nation in decline

Happy 40th birthday to Bill Waterson’s ‘Calvin and Hobbes’. A work of consummate, stubborn, human, and more-than-human art.

#3157 A helpful tutorial

It is pretty ridiculous that the Criterion Collection simply exists to go “here are very good movies that we present to you to buy and watch with some thoughtfulness” and that’s all it takes to be successful because it’s rare that anyone does that shit

She said she had such sights to show me, Jerry! And did she? No! Yes! Kinda! She brought me to the torment dimension, Jerry. It was brutal. Ah, that's a shame. *Kramer busts in, huge teeth chittering*

Really think that our phones are listening to us. Literally was talking to a friend about big titty goth milf big hanging honkers 480p compilation the other day. And guess what just showed up in my search results

Treetop Lesbian Ska Toilet

i love when people use search engines in movies but i love when people use search engines in hallmark movies most of all

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem should resign and be criminally charged, according to critics who seized on a report revealing that zero people who were arrested in a high-profile raid were charged with a crime.

I'm Mud and this is Jackass

I'm Mud. And I'm pleased to welcome you to this showing of Mud Vs Nixon

a big runoff last night, in New Orleans: Calvin Duncan was exonerated after spending *28 years* in prison; he tried to get his own case records from the New Orleans city clerk—but the office dragged its feet. So Duncan ran to become city clerk himself, and yesterday ousted the incumbent.

if superman were real hed probably get tired of me jumping off of buildings for fun whenever he was around