🇺🇸For those experiencing a delay in today’s Rapture, Jesus has been detained indefinitely by ICE for being an undocumented immigrant. He is currently being held in an undisclosed ICE facility pending deportation🔥

In 1983, 50 companies controlled 90% of the U.S. media market. That number is now down to 5.

When the tariffs hit crackers gonna be wearing barrels

Tremendous crossover move right here:

What about the Ethical Norms? @normeisen.bsky.social @normornstein.bsky.social They are out here doing it every day!

Brokeback Butt

Dear white ladies, this is the energy we need you to bring to these situations.

Actor Mandy Patinkin’s plea for Jews to consider how what Netanyahu’s Israeli government is doing to Gaza is not just harming Palestinians and killing kids — but also endangering Jews across the globe.

If you think this only counts for white immigrants then you can beso mucho my magnificent black ass.

Not looking for a “love potion.” I need a “tolerate idiots concoction.”

If you have nothing better to do, and you've ever had a kink for spaceship anal probes, this would be a great time to make a long detailed phone call.

asserting dominance at this Fleetwood Mac concert by waving this in the air during 'Dreams'

guys i’m starting to think all lives do not actually matter to them

Why doesn’t Richard Gere have a clothing line called Richard Gear?

I'll take "Crippling Self Pity and General Anxiety" for $100, Alex

everyone thinks humans are a superior species to dogs but only one of us is descending into techofascism and destroying our ecosystem, while the other gets to walk around without pants all day

My hot take on Jeff Bezos' wedding: That $50 million price tag is double what the US government was spending annually on food and medicine for 5 million AIDS orphans before the Trump administration canceled it. We are literally letting orphans die rather than make this guy pay taxes.

A Confederacy of Buttholes

What do you call a court that says parents have a constitutional right to prevent their kids from seeing storybooks with gay people at school, but no right to provide their children with access to gender-affirming health care?

Please remember to check the sidewalk temperature before you take your pooch for a walk. Delicate beans need protection.

Seems like Trump’s most powerful advisor being a white nationalist should inspire greater alarm than the possible mayor of new york being pro palestinian rights

Bit rich complaining about New York being taken over by immigrants when there's a big fucking statue in the harbour that invites everyone to come live there.

What if that's all he's needed the whole time was just a drink of water

When I was a newborn I saved up and bought my own basket. We all did. This generation just wants a handout

I'm not eating no bald pop tart. What is this a Charles Dickens novel??

US Veterans peacefully protesting Trump’s military birthday parade arrested at Capitol Hill. This is the moment a 80+ year old US veteran is taken away in handcuffs for practicing his 1st Amendment right. #3E #NoKings #NoKingsProtests (🎥 @gregjstoker.bsky.social )

If "This motherfucker right here" was a face.

Trying to imagine if Trump told America, "Maybe you don't need 30 guns, maybe 2 guns."

I read this post in Ralph Wiggam’s voice.

Supreme Court rules 6-3 that Teslas are priced to move with $0 down and no payments for 48 months

They’re eating the checks, they’re eating the balances

google just be sayin' shit at this point

A tribute band for Better Than Ezra called Worse Than Better Than Ezra

Matt Gaetz went from the nominee for Attorney General to offering 10% off horse tranquilizer