history teacher in 50 years: So in September, that’s when the president signed an executive order criminalizing anti-fascism and saying all resistance would be crushed student: oh so that’s when the whole country realized they were living under fascism teacher: haha what? oh no lol not at all. no.

This is why Democrats shouldn’t appoint Republicans to run the FBI. You made this happen Comey. And Obama. Predicting that if a Democrat replaces Trump they’ll leave Patel in charge rather than politicize the job

What the fuck do you mean I got a longer prison sentence than Diddy

Do not fight AI with AI. It isn’t a “good guy with a gun” situation

Ice cold

Gimme the first stone, I’ll cast that motherfucker

I always thought the part of Clockwork Orange where Malcolm McDowell’s goon friends become cops was like unrealistic or metaphorical or something. Anyway, ICE

If you wish to see a virgin onscreen you’re probably in the Epstein files

PeHe getting roasted by the libs at the…Marine Corps Times

When I miss breakfast at McDonald’s by 3 minutes

@edzitron.com …what

Hang this in the rafters alongside “Hillary the Hawk, Donald the Dove.” The rafters of suck

Out of morbid curiosity—it’s still legal to carry a rifle on college campuses in Utah right? Nobody has tried to pass Charlie’s Law?

All too often I’m finding the Hitler comparisons unfair to Hitler

This is like the beginning of Patton if somebody had dropped an anvil on Patton’s head backstage

Ok I don’t advocate posting videos this long (like 30 seconds) and you don’t have to watch the whole thing to get the idea. It’s not important as a reminder of what Trump is willing to do—great replacement theory with a backing track, big whoop—but what Schumer and Jeffries are willing to accept

Jäger shots fired

@edzitron.com new advice for SamA

Do I want to know about RFKJ’s taste in comedy

I feel like Google could get itself into trouble here

In case you were wondering why our “defense” budget is so high

A Trump supporter wore a “Camp Auschwitz” hoodie to the January 6 attack, was it something I said

Apple TV doing fuckery just when Slow Horses returns makes me miss Steve Jobs, he saved his dumbest decisions for his personal health care

Counterpoint: nothin’ says lovin’ like fresh from the coven

Today in Fine People on Both Sides

@vincemancini.bsky.social @mattlieb.bsky.social

I’m tired of people questioning this man’s intelligence. He’s the smartest Republican there is

I will never post a Trump video unless it’s a banger and under ten seconds long. That’s the DGS guarantee

Ok I’ll bite—*Christian* Bible?

@jkass99.bsky.social would you have served

No offense but numbnuts here has bought into the lie that Trump is popular and that he won in a landslide. Biden got the majority of the popular vote. Trump did not. Also Trump is not the problem; all Republican politicians and appointees are. This gormless nimrod needs some book learnin

Bagman Begins (2005)

If I drop off the grid it may be because I won the Powerball but avenge me just in case

Say less, DHS. Say a lot less

I refuse to go to Disneyland because of their cowardly surrender to government whims, as opposed to before, when I refused to go to Disneyland because it’s expensive and lame

“Mom, he hit me first,” I say, starting my chainsaw

@jkass99.bsky.social loved the bonus episode. Bonus fact: the guy who wrote the novel First Blood (much better than the movie and infinitely better than the movie’s sequels) said he based Rambo on Audie Murphy

Recruiting campaign centered around Gunnery Sgt Hartman noting that Charles Whitman and Lee Harvey Oswald learned to shoot in the Marines

Imagine firing a black or immigrant or Jewish or trans or gay employee for quoting Kirk verbatim. Actually you don’t have to imagine it

Is this memorial special going to contain actual quotes from Charlie Kirk? You can get fired for that

BREAKING: Scotland Yard puts out BOLO on Melania Trump

This kind of thing will cost Obama his job. Also shut up about Charlie Kirk’s kids. A lot of suckass people have kids. If Kirk’s kids didn’t have a famous parent and had been shot at their elementary school the Republicans would never mention it

Musk’s next response to Miller was “your wife says hi”

What is the plural of shanda, my Yiddish is shaky. Shandim or nah

In which Nate Silver implies that circle jerks are bad but effective altruism is interesting, making him very wrong twice in the same paragraph

@briancgrubb.bsky.social did she explain Go Birds

Periodic public service announcement: if a killer is a veteran the media leads with that in every story; they should identify killers as nonveterans in the much larger number of shootings where that’s the case. “The murderer, a fancy lad who never spent a day in uniform but liked to play with guns,”

@briancgrubb.bsky.social new mission statement just dropped