Can you imagine if Max Scherzer was pitching and had to wait for the Jonas Brothers concert?

Pardon my subpar photography, but: I think someone was inspired by last night.

this rocks. when indiana edu killed the student newspaper, Purdue stepped up, printed the forbidden issue, drove it to Bloomington and stocked the boxes.

I’ve seen just one counter-protester at No Kings San Diego. He’s got a Trump 2024 flag and this guy has been following him around for probably an hour playing Benny Hill and circus music.

Watch for the errant flag throw that hits a player, stay for the Oscar-winning acting job.

CHOTINER: I want to get back to what you were saying about your ex-girlfriend. KIEDIS: She called me up. CHOTINER: But you said she was alone and desperate on the prison phone. KIEDIS: Yes. They want to give her seven years. For being sad. CHOTINER: That’s not a crime, Anthony.

“Trix are so dangerous we won’t even give them to rabbits!”

The Onion News Network truck is currently stationed outside the Broadview ICE Detention facility just outside of Chicago.

I can

Sir, the Dodgers have scored a second run

Patient, sobbing: But Doctor, I AM Pagliacci! ChatGPT: Apologies. I didn't realise when recommending Pagliacci's epic show to cure your depression that you were the genius himself. I'm impressed! With regards to your initial question, I can recommend seeing the Great Clown Pagliacci.

Happy 15th anniversary of the peak achievement of literary criticism, to all who celebrate

Mamdani: I would say that for the former governor to have spent an entire day speaking almost exclusively about me and barely about the New Yorkers who have been killed is indicative of the very politics New Yorkers want to leave in the past.

Election Day is going to come quickly! Share with your colleagues and make your plans to vote yes on Day 1: August 18th! #uaw

Oh wow, someone who promises to represent every state and falls well short of that goal, who would have thought

Another notable anniversary: Elliott Smith’s self-titled album turns 30 today. I have objectively listened to this record more than any other. It is an essential record for me. www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...

the liberalizing power of education is not so much what you are taught but who you are taught among: which is to say, a large array of diverse people you've never met before

The way this just made me laugh.

working together to defund snap

It’s precisely my understanding of antisemitism which leads me to root for Zohran. As Jews, we thrive when everyone thrives. When other minority groups suffer, we also suffer. Few things could make me feel safer as a Jewish American than a Muslim mayor who fights for working people.

EXCLUSIVE — The Onion has a full-page ad in today’s NYT featuring part of an editorial calling out congressional fecklessness towards Trump. They also sent a copy of their latest issue to every lawmaker. My report, with an excerpt from the full editorial: www.thehandbasket.co/p/exclusive-...

Eric Adams:Andrew Cuomo::Gavin Newsom::Donald Trump

We feed you. They hunt us.

Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar’st.

Give the photographer the Pulitzer Prize

LAPD when they think nobody is watching

Of course that’s your contention. You’re a first year Fediverse power-user. You just got finished reading about how Bluesky isn’t decentralized — Christine’s blog post probably — and you’re convinced that AT Protocol is a flash in the pan while ActivityPub is the real hope for the web’s future.

this is a letter to the editor from a high school track runner who came in second to a trans girl in a race. her state house rep in maine started talking about it. so she wrote this: www.pressherald.com/2025/05/14/r...

DARTH VADER: I just want to say to all of the alderaanians.. I see you. I hear you

Generative AI has helped me to understand why, in Star Wars, the droids seem to have personalities but are generally bad at whatever they're supposed to be programmed to do, and everyone is tired of their shit and constantly tells them to shut up

Literally the first company that got blown out by AI was Chegg, which did college students' homework but instead of technology they just hired a bunch of kids in India to write the papers. Same as it ever was.

you don't need chatGPT i am perfectly capable of drinking a bottle of water and lying to you

a foe to citizens, One that still motions war and never peace, O'ercharging your free purses with large fines, That seeks to overthrow religion, Because he is protector of the realm, And would have armour here out of the Tower, To crown himself king

the Giants and Jets are God's pay back to New Yorkers for making the rest of us know so much about their dumb, weirdo mayors

the clearest proof Jackie Robinson was one of the most consequential people in history is that nearly a century after he started playing baseball, cowards are still working tirelessly to shut him up

COL. JESSUP: You want answers? SCHUMER: I think I’m entitled! COL. JESSUP: You want answers? SCHUMER: I WANT THE TRUTH!! COL. JESSUP: You can’t handled the truth! SCHUMER (defiantly): No further questions, you honor.

GAVIN NEWSOM: Firstly, thank you for joining us today. Can you tell the audience a little about how your bloodlust and desire for wanton violence and cruelty drives you to be your best self as the Chosen of Bhaal? ORIN THE RED: Gavin, thank you for having me.

GAVIN NEWSOM: So, again, you were talking about the importance of- EDGAR THE BUG WEARING HUMAN SKIN FROM MEN IN BLACK: SUGAR WATER GAVIN NEWSOM: Yes, sugar water. And my party hasn't acknowledged how much people love sugar and water. My son was shouting SUGAR WATER at me the other day on xbox.

Jeff Bezos Sends Note To Whole Foods Staff Forbidding Criticism Of Grapes

"We didn’t become the greatest shirtwaist factory in the world by resting on our laurels. That’s why we’ve brought in a new efficiency czar, Noel Skum, whose job is to cut unnecessary spending and roll back overly restrictive safety regulations." www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/tha...

ERIC ADAMS: I want to thank you, as a brother from another mother, for seeing in your heart to set me free, from this witch hunt TRUMP: you were remarkable in the space jam, you did such wonderful things against the monstars

Kids don't like eating at school, but if they have a Remains of the Day lunchbox, they're a whole lot happier

Maybe if we tell them there’s a student encampment inside the White House democrats will spring to action.

Print out fliers of Elon Musk's Nazi salute and place them in the windshield of every Tesla you see parked on the street

It is a dark time for Judaism