Pep Guardiola just got done by a U21 coach at the Etihad. Mon dieu.

chelsea football club: not entirely useless™

favorite part is that, of all games, it was away at luton town, who are now 8th in league one

There are a lot of MLB players and prospects from Venezuela. Been texting with people in several front offices and nobody knows how this is going to impact players and their families’ ability to get out. A total clusterfuck.

we should all be petty enough to hate something as much as graeme le saux absolutely fucking loathes arsenal

noni madueke won't get an assist on that goal, but he absolutely deserves an assist

i hope todd boehly owns chelsea for decades to come www.theguardian.com/football/202...

declan rice making me jump off the couch twice in 12 minutes

set piece again ole ole

halftime subs should be merino and darren england

OWN GOAL FC OLE OLE

hell yeah i got what i wanted this year

hell yeah i got what i wanted this year

had it all the way

periodic reminder to watch THE INSIDER, which came out in 1999 and also feels like it could’ve been released yesterday

periodic reminder to watch THE INSIDER, which came out in 1999 and also feels like it could’ve been released yesterday

one-nil to the arsenal, top of the table 🫡

everton halftime xg of 0.00, that’ll do

imagine looking at your squad and thinking cristian romero is your best option for captain, good lord

Also I just wrote about Del Toro’s Frankenstein, how he’s always reluctant to condemn his monsters because he identifies with them, but how monsters sometimes need to be outside the human story. I also wrote about this tension in my own book. somethingwonderful.substack.com/p/what-is-a-...

it sucks that some people will fake a disability but it doesn't suck nearly as much as the idea that every disabled person should have to be on-call 24/7 to prove their disability to every miserable self-appointed robocop who sees them in public and thinks "i bet they don't need that wheelchair"

Interested in outlaw country, weed brownies, feuding with billionaires, the early NBA, playing Gin Rummy on a weekday afternoon, and what it feels like to die? I went to Maui to profile Don Nelson for The Believer! @thebeliever.net www.thebeliever.net/island-time/

HE IS RISEN

holy shit what a goal from noni madueke

happy for pete, and for all the dingers. people are allowed to feel things, but it’s fine. the mets will be fine! (now just sign tucker and a sp1)

all the praise about chelsea’s draw last weekend was pretty baffling considering it gained them exactly zero points in the title race, which makes this loss to leeds especially brutal

SAKA

mikel merino, my word

rest easy king

ok now it’s been a really good birthday

cosmic joke of the universe that on my 45th birthday, i am now officially a reading glasses-wearer, time remains undefeated (on the other hand, i’ve never looked smarter)

everyone rushing to read lizza’s latest

chelsea have an extra day of rest, palmer back, playing at home, just crushed barca. arsenal now missing their two world-class CBs. chelsea should take all three points, clearly

making the chris berman WHOOP sound as neuer flies past martinelli

arsenal have made bayern (unbeaten in *all* comps this season) look quite normal, especially in this second half

if/when arsenal start winning things, calafiori is going to be some kind of folk hero

there is no ”higher bar” for a second yellow. if it’s a cautionable offense, then that’s what it is

I drew North London

spike lee was at the emirates today, we were never going to lose

if spurs players are clapping at an away end that is completely empty, did it even happen

boring boring arsenal

you’re hearing it so much

IT’LL ALL WORK OUT

what a time for zubimendi to get beat for the first time all season

ebere eze is perfect, to me

EZE LIKE SUNDAY MORRRNING

leo trossard, the legend grows

“bamboo, Mark Sanford, shoe racks”

whole lot of people paying to read that substack huh

[newcastle fan voice]: