dont really love being governed by an administration that needs to justify why we have its various policy initiatives coming to us. cant even pretend to try to sell us on why their rule is a good thing, just screechily crowing that we have it coming and its going to get worse

Trump has authorized excessive force in the apprehension of the criminals know as “the blues brothers” via a truth social post

Couldn't take Chicago, so he's going after Portland. Like a high school bully that got bodied by a wrestler so he tries to take it out on a theater kid. Pathetic.

I live there and there are people who live within five miles of Minneapolis who think this.

I don't love using "blood libel" to describe anything other than the actual historical phenomenon of accusations against Jews of ritually killing Christian children. But if anything in modern political discourse structurally resembles a blood libel, it's Vance accusing Haitians of eating cats.

Declaring "anti-Christianity" views to be terrorist is a surprising move for the Antichrist.

Watched the 1st half of the 1956 Moby Dick movie, and it's true that Gregory Peck is miscast as Ahab, but the really annoying thing is that they've got Orson Welles just sitting right there.

I would like the child sacrificed to stop, either by we stop doing them, or we acquire an orb with some kind of enchantment, I don't want to be too prescriptive about it, but an orb or other artifact with magical properties that causes them to stop.

In just a few short months I will be old enough that if I ever create anything successful I will be an inspirational story about how it's never too late.

Engraving two bullets with "this bullet only lies" and "this bullet only tells the truth" to really stump the FBI

I hate when people don’t get my funeral jokes

In the restroom at work today the guy in the stall next to me blasted a fart so massive that he said "excuse me" despite being on the toilet, where that sort of thing is expected, perhaps even welcomed.

at work my manager keeps talking about the “council of eunuchs” and “why dont you use the council of eunuchs to increase you productivity” and “just let the council of eunuchs do it”

I'm embarrassed to be seen on LinkedIn because one of my contacts from college on there posts videos extolling Charlie Kirk about five times a day and it's just impossible to go on there at all without being flooded with them.

i don't think it's fair for donald trump and rfk jr to expect everyone to be as healthy as them...

wild to think that like. The Democrats might be able to make inroads with big business by just being like "hey we will stop just absolutely fucking up all of your shit for no reason"

lol, lmao even

For my money, Satan-bashing was one of the goofiest things in Christian culture. Like there was this gleeful transgressive thrill in having this one irredeemable guy who you're 100% allowed to go off on. Probably less popular now that unrestrained hostility is more accepted in Evangelical culture.

You'd better watch your ass! The people who are always mad all the time no matter what are mad now!

Left-wing Star Wars fan: How can conservatives watch Star Wars and not recognize that they are the Empire? Right-wing Star Wars fan: There should be a Sith lord who had a hammer made out of lightsaber.

give us this day our daily lump

Hey are we currently pointing and laughing at bad AI or is it taboo to even post it for that reason?

Cow Tools overwriting our reality like Tlon, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius.

Watched The Lion King for the first time since childhood, and that movie is NUTS. I have never seen anything else strike anything close to the same tone.

it's important to have something good that happens in your life regularly, so if you don't have any of that, you should definitely get some. you should try to make sure it's something really meaningful and special too

Obviously this is very bad, but I take some comfort in the fact that they can't actually "erase" or "destroy" anything for real in today's world. They can ignore it, and they can hide it, but the the receipts are always gonna be out there for anyone who isn't willfully plugging their ears.

I'm not a regular Twitter user anymore, but sometimes I do like to go on there and just scroll through to find the ads, click on all of them, buy all the products...

I'm a little bit glad that the right is swinging away from any semblance of "free speech." That was always a pretty awkward fit, and it was embarrassing for everyone, and it was annoying to have to work around "free speech" being code for racism.

Of course I Disavow Political Violence, but if you're dead set on doing violence, I sincerely recommend political violence over mowing down children.

We have the technology to make any actor bald, and it costs almost nothing. But yes, I suppose I do see how Jason Statham might bring an interesting new energy to the role of Captain Picard.

I like when the role of Lex Luthor or Professor X is up for recasting and fans start exclusively tossing out actors who are already bald.

I could easily get away with never admitting this, especially since that show has fallen out of favor, but it took me until today to realize that when the small town from Parks and Recreation had multiple nightclubs, that was an intentional gag, not a mistake by ignorant urban-centric writers.

If there's a tragic loss of life in my community, you know my ass is deeply saddened

Imagining a song by CCM artist Carman where he's a whaler and he's hunting whales that are demons.

The FBI has announced Anton Chigurh is a real guy

My kid's been really into Horton Hatches the Egg lately, and I'm pleased that she's vibing with that one. It's one of the most advanced books that she has, and it's a really good example of escalating comedy.

The Cat in the Hat is the Judge Holden of children's literature.

I highly doubt Trump had Charlie Kirk whacked, because if he was comfortable crossing that line, some of his actual enemies would be dead.

Doesn't feel like they're seriously looking hard for this one like they did with Luigi.

"This is just a distraction" is the lib version of "Look at all these sheep talking about the 'current thing' of the week."

I've hit 20k words in the first draft of my novel, so I'm starting to feel like I'm actually doing it and not just daydreaming about doing it. I now feel confident in my claim that it will be the best book of all time.

Been thinking about doing a Wuthering Heights riff in Abbeycourt Manor and the new movie might force my hand four or five years from now.

AI GUY: I listen to an AI podcast that gives me tips on which lottery numbers are best to pick. I listen at 2x speed so I can listen to twice as many episodes. Me: Disgusting. I listen to podcasts about which lottery numbers are best to pick made by actual people. And I listen at 0.25 speed

if you're still getting ripped up by air bud in the third quarter, that's a coaching failure

I'm not saying crime isn't a problem but I am saying that the sort of crime that conservatives are terrified of is entirely fake.

Never gonna understand this delirious obsession with having a king. Makes them look like a bunch of saps.

Writing in my baseball friend's birthday book: Hope your birthday is a real "Home Run". Writing in my movie friend's birthday book: Lights! Camera! Happy Birthday :) Writing in my pedophile friend's birthday book: Congratulations on being a pedophile on this - your special day