First, the good news. The bathwater has been disposed of.

In Portuguese a manatee is called peixe-boi (or “bull fish”) and in Dutch zeekoe (or “sea cow”). In English a group of manatees is called an aggregate of manatees, though I think a better term would be either a “manateam” or “manytees” (in the same way a group of dugongs should be called a “dugang”)

People can scream "ageism!" all they want. The truth is that RBG's decision not to retire is a big part of why Roe v. Wade is gone. The truth is that Biden's decision to run for a second term despite his age is probably the single biggest reason Donald Trump is currently president.

If the stakes weren’t so dire, it’d almost be funny watching him try to thread the needle of It’s Not War For Purposes Of Domestic Law, and It Is War For Purposes Of International Intimidation.

Troops levitating above the ground

and this one is a close second theonion.com/fire-consume...

Hard to overstate the significance of this. On the order of a tobacco company being found liable for cancer caused by secondhand smoke.

A duckling has appeared on your timeline to let you know we're gonna make it through this and destroy our enemies! 🐣 🪶

This is unfair to Gavin, he also has some extremely strong and long-held opinions on hair care.

95 percent of my reaction to social conditions these days can be summed up with ‘Where were the parents?’

I retract my prior statements about children being our future.

Look, sometimes when people say they hate “liberals,” they mean “women.”

Hello, I stand for absolutely nothing. My name is Gavin Newsom.

Dept of Homeroom Security over here.

I aspire to the level of Suburban Brain Excellence required to start a physical fight with Jack Reacher because you perceive him to be in violation of HOA bylaws. www.theguardian.com/film/2026/ma...

Everybody's asking

“I am political,” Ms. Rachel told me of her new effort to free kids from ICE detention. “It’s political to believe that children are worthy of love … and that our care shouldn’t stop at what we look like, our family, at our religion, at a border. Mr. Rogers was very political.”

Like, the arrivals area of a commerical airport is one of the few places in America where you can be confident that 100% of the people there have the government’s formal approval to be there.

We the People don’t have to play along with this bad faith bullshit

they still have ashtrays in airplane bathrooms because if you're cool they let you smoke

Donald Trump had sex with Stormy Daniels at a Nevada golf tournament while his wife was home nursing their 4 month old son Baron.

We are in this Iran mess now because Trump sent two New York real estate negotiators to try and seal a nuclear deal—without bringing a team with them who understood nuclear science and technology. Credible sources argue they were too ignorant to understand what the Iranians offered. 4/n

A ton of attention has been paid to the $75 billion that ICE got for mass deportations. Less attention has been paid to the $46.6 billion that CBP got for border barriers, which will now apparently include these hideous orange things running along 500+ miles of the Rio Grande.

‘I voted to give someone enormous power because we’re friends’ should be one of the most shameful things for a public servant to admit, but somewhere along the way, some genius PR consultant decided it should be the first sentence of every press release.

QI is once again granted on extremely thin differences between prior cases and this one: Here, there was a circuit case already prohibiting the maneuver used on the plaintiff, but in the prior case, the officers’ warning before they used it had slightly different wording.

Constant mood: I don't want *more* competent fascists. But I reserve the right to feel insulted by how allergic to competence they are.

“Tomorrow!” cried Toad. “I will do it all tomorrow!”

Portland pothole artists are seriously my favorite people. If you know one or are one and would be willing to talk about your craft, please DM

lmao

imagine going your whole life without sleeping under a blanket, and then sleeping under a blanket

sending ICE to airports is meant as an act of intimidation. whether it’s well-planned or not, whether they’re masked or not, whether they’re trained or not—as with ICE anywhere, ICE will do whatever ICE can get away with, until they don’t

I just want you to know my mother has sprinkled rotisserie chicken all through my dogs food bowl in such a way that ensures and I quote "he gets chicken with every bite" because "that's how we do it at grandma's house"

This is how I'm introducing myself at all work and social events going forward

Before you start eulogizing Robert Mueller, spend some time learning about the post-9/11 FBI.

Mueller’s FBI persecuted Muslims nationwide. He was responsible for one of the most egregious, systemic violations of civil rights in the history of the FBI, which is saying a whole lot. This was Mueller’s FBI:

Few things in life are more satisfying than passing a cybertruck on the highway in a Subaru hatchback.

All the Saxon Musk posting reminds me of one of the all-timers

I speak as a former waiter: kids asking for milk is neither uncommon nor ‘based’; it’s just annoying.

lol

"nobody is doing anything" remains a lie meant to soothe the person saying the words. It's not true. YOU may not be doing anything but a lot of people are.

this one really resonated with me

OTD in 2006: Twitter goes live.

And we're all out of oil

Seen tacked to a community board on my walk

I am at a loss for words. www.propublica.org/article/flor...

Trump Threatens Airstrikes On U.S. Gas Stations https://theonion.com/trump-threatens-airstrikes-on-u-s-gas-stations/