Please consider helping an online friend who is having a rough time. Also: consider the kitties. www.gofundme.com/f/keep-elise...

Mardi Gras was fun, but I’m going to go into seclusion for a few weeks. Don’t worry, loves. If it happens while I’m offline, I’ll hurry back here, pantsless and dancing.

Here come the chicken chasers.

In Iota, LA doing chicken chasing Mardi Gras with @yaykellie.bsky.social and @jenleepa.bsky.social.

Wait. What does Mac and cheese make you do?

You can know your friend for decades, but it takes Mardi Gras to realize that both you and @mostlymartha.bsky.social each have a third nipple. (No photo attached)

At the Spanish Town Parade in Baton Rouge, wearing an original shirt made by @jenleepa.bsky.social and @kelliebob.bsky.social. NO ONE seems to be getting the reference.

“Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan” (1997)

You may laugh, but the Macbeths are a much better role model for a marriage than Romeo and Juliet. They discuss their problems (killing the king of Scotland), share their hobbies (killing the king of Scotland), and resolve their conflicts (by killing the king of Scotland).

The talk to your friends app and the witness the horrors app being the same app is not great for the mental health is it

Funeral. This is a warning to my friends: if you come visit me, I may tell you to bring a suit so you can work a funeral with me. @jenleepa.bsky.social makes a great funeral director. Even if she’s going to hell for going to the Mardi Gras.

Bitch McConnell didn’t die this weekend? That felt like a gimme.

That thing of when you’re driving down a Louisiana highway and the smell of fried chicken makes you do a u-turn to go back and get some. @jenleepa.bsky.social

Every member of this administration seems to be acting under the assumption that there will never be a future administration who will hold them accountable for their actions. They will accept pardons or they will never lose power.

Attn @coldchef.bsky.social

Likely-historic photo by NBC News of all the Epstein victims asked to raise their hands if they've not yet been asked to meet with the DOJ as Bondi testifies in foreground

BREAKING: Congressman Ted Lieu just exposed Pam Bondi for lying under oath. This is a federal crime. Wow.

Wait. Really? Her initials…

Bride’s room mirror selfie.

PINING 4U: Love nature and looking for the perfect message to send your Valentine this year? You’ve come to the right place. Here's a gallery of Valentines for your Pinelands-loving sweetie.❤️ 🐦 🐸 🌵 🐢 📷: Pinelands Commission staff #NewJersey #valentinesday #nature

Today’s useless fact: More than one hundred cattle were slaughtered to provide the vellum for each first edition of the Gutenberg Bible.

1:30am. Residential deathcall.

Everything he does is weird, but why does Trump always thank everyone “for their attention to this matter?” It’s very Wesley Willis-coded. “Rock over London. Rock on Chicago. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”

Milo’s high school is organizing an anti-ICE walkout this week. I told Milo that the school was against it and he would likely get in trouble for walking out of class. “Is you protesting worth it?“ I asked. “For something I believe in? Yes.” Couldn’t be prouder of him.

Church selfie. Last service of the day. This small town has had four BIG funeral in the last week. So many people have told me they’re tired of seeing me. They’re just joking with me. I hope.

Cemetery selfie. Your boy is TIRED.

Funeral. A friend‘s parents came in and his mom reminded me that today is the day my dad died, seventeen years ago. For those of you who were following me back then, I’m sure you’ll agree that 17 years seems impossible. Time is relentless and unmerciful.

Fun Super Bowl fact to throw out at your party: When Green Day took “American Idiot” to Broadway in 2010, Donald and Melania went to the premiere.

Hitchcock’s greatest work.

It's come to my attention that the recent Muppet Show revival was a "special" and not the start of a continuing series. I have given this serious contemplation & I feel that the rational response to the creators of this show is threats of bodily harm to myself and others until this becomes regular.

*Charlie Brown flexes his knees—ready to take a run at Lucy’s football. Finally, this will be the time.* www.nbcnews.com/politics/con...

Who up releasing they pedo-files?

1. It was not an accident. 2. It was not a staffer. 3. While the president may have dementia his racism is not due to dementia. 4. He isn’t sorry. He means every racist thought he shares. 5. His base agrees with him. 6. He will do it again. 7. No one in power will hold him accountable.

Ok, so…what is their name? Have they been fired? What are you doing to prevent this from happening again? Do you repudiate this? How many people have access to posting privileges? Is this how the current occupant of the White House sees his predecessors? So many unanswered questions.

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a Guy Finnacum,

Two gay hockey players head to New Orleans in February. Heated Revelry.

He has such contempt for his own supporters and they follow him so blindly.

It’s hilarious that establishment Republicans have to pretend to like Kid Rock. I want to see so many videos of them attempting to dance to his garbage.

The new “Muppet Show” is good.

Third residential deathcall today. Boy oh boy.

Deathcall. The mother of a frenemy from high school. We both dated the same girl at different times. He gave me one of my only speeding tickets on the morning of a mutual friend’s wedding. Ticket in the morning, saw him at a wedding in the afternoon. Thirty years ago. I carry a grudge. (Not really.)

3am Deathcall. Residence.

“Hamnet“ is now available to buy or rent.

As an Eagle Scout who served on the local, regional, national, and international levels, let me just say: Fuck you.

Funeral in my hometown today where I grew up. All anyone wants to talk about is the shooting at the Mardi Gras parade this weekend. Not one person I’ve talked to has suggested that maybe the fact that we all walk around with guns like it’s the Wild West is part of the problem.

Open letter to my friends: The Muppet Show is coming back. This is a good thing. Hopefully, it will be funny, sweet, and a little raunchy. I know Kermit’s voice is different. We all know why that is. Just…go with it. We all age. We all change. Even Kermit. This is who Kermit is now.

Luckily, rural folks are incredibly technically advanced and are quick to jump onto any new trend. Especially those that require them to trust computers or the government.

Pinning on a boutonnière for a pallbearer can be tricky ESPECIALLY when the pallbearer is a lady and there’s no jacket lapel to affix the flower. I had to ask her, may I put my hand inside your shirt? She said, “Wouldn’t be the first time a stranger did that!” “First today?“ I asked.