How am I supposed to diet when everything requires me to eat my feelings

Hours after we sent a letter signed by over 450 artists and 40K others defending free speech, ABC announced Jimmy Kimmel will return to air. Other companies should heed this warning: We the people are watching.

Ingraham: They said you took $50,000 in cash in a bag from an undercover FBI agent… Homan: I did nothing criminal or illegal.

I dont know much about being pregnant or having autism but its pretty apparent shitting your diaper and having brain worms kills democracy

The funniest part of this is acetaminophen is the (perfectly safe) drug. Tylenol is a *brand*, and by attacking the brand and not the drug, the US government has just given Kenvue a massive gift when this goes to court. Their lawyers are likely drooling right now.

super fun hearing my Vietnamese refugee parents talk about fleeing their own country again, very cool country we have here

If it’s galling to you too, then I recommend the TV show HACKS which addresses this. Okay basically the whole show is about this

If the Rapture was tomorrow 50% of white people would see one brown person ascending and jump straight into Hell with Donald Trump

The Rapture? In this economy?

Uh oh, it’s happening early! 😘✌️

Before Jesus shows up, do any Christians leaving tomorrow have a crush on me, y/n

I never subscribed to Disney. So there. Give me a fucking cookie.

lmao this is glorious I'm sure Otis is able to distinguish between Reinforcement and Supervised Learning techniques when choosing a representation system for perceptrons 😭😭😭

Also applies to: *racist *Nazi *misogynist *bigot *religious zealot *douchecanoe

man he’s still got it

Good evening. 😘✌️

This like when an ig model talks about a dead rapper sliding in her DMs

Just 2 gun rights advocates sitting behind a wall of bulletproof glass while enjoying a memorial for a gun rights advocate who got murdered by a gun.

You cannot convince me anyone is actually having a good time on “Threads”

State Farm Stadium is a total ghost town. Thousands and thousands of empty seats.

It was overflow only Just like Trump's rallies, lmao

White People…listen up! 🗣️🗣️ Take the time to watch and learn! All Kirk sympathizers (even those in hiding with their sympathy) this is for you! 🖤🫶🏼🙌🏽

All the super straight, Christian, MAGA warriors broke down Grindr, the gay dating/sex app, yet again. The last time it broke down...the RNC in Wisconsin.

So there was a mass shooting at a New Hampshire country club. Fortunately for white people Donald Trump has a plan to stop white on white violence by harassing brown and black people in Chicago who are minding their own business.

What's hilarious is they gave Kirk's Klan jamboree a level 1 security assessment knowing goddam well every mass shooter in America was inside the stadium lmfao

Jesus is never coming back here ‘cuz this place is a shethole. He sacrificed himself for you fucken morons already. Once is enough.

She's forgiving Tyler's angry whiteness. That's it. eriKaKirK realizes her entire grift depends on creating ✨more✨ Tyler Robinsons, not fewer.

Nailed it.

I AM HAUNTED 😭😭

IM DYING LOOK AT IT

Coincidence or not Every time the Epstein file talk gets hot someone ends up dead

This is today!

As for Kirk spreading hatred, that’s been well documented. You will of course ignore that. Just like you ignore what trump has said. Just like you ignore what jesus has said. Just like you ignore what the Epstein victims have said. P.S. :

Kimmel out, autocracy in! Just like McCarthyism, but worse… markfiore.substack.com/p/autocracy-...

Equal parts activism and song lyrics and fuck yous.

It's amazing that the dramatic tension in the Downton Abbey movie revolves around women saying "no" to wealthy white men 😭😭😭

disney adults showing up like the end of avengers endgame

lmao how long did it take your hood eye holes to dry

Truest thing you will see today⤵️⤵️⤵️

I also choose to use my first amendment rights to say "fuck nazis."

Exactly this. Oops. Oh, and lmao

Dear American citizens, whatever you wish more German citizens would have done in 1933, do that now.

This isn't journalism. This is state sponsored media.

I think she nailed it 😬👀 youtu.be/EwejUh3m9Fg?...

Is it me, or is it the bigger AI companies get, the dumber social media bots get?