✨America's government would rather shut down and protect pedophiles than show up to represent its people✨

There is no measured way to say what I am about to say. If the Supreme Court agrees with the Trump administration to end birthright citizenship, we must end this current Supreme Court. I do not say this lightly.

"where we are now is because we never held white supremacy to account" ⚡⚡⚡™️

Being a "MAGA dentist" must be a lot like being a hair dresser for a bald person

⚡⚡⚡™️

I can only guess Trump's medical prognosis is months not years and he's determined to burn it all down so the ashes fit in his coffin

I'm still trying to figure out why America is putting up with this shit but i guess once you accepted shooting kindergarteners is normal it was over for you fuckos

MAGA made all these broken White men and now they're starting to go after the regime. lmao

White people sure elected a fucken moron. Enjoy! lmfao

Look, things might be bad, but at least Kevin the peacock is doing alright.

My deepest desire is to watch this authoritarian regime collapse in the most comical fashion possible. tbh, it’s the only possible reason I chose to incarnate into this fucken moronic reality.

Death penalty if you’re a White man without a poscast.

Death penalty for using the English pronunciation of the word schedule.

Death penalty for organizing the Christmas office party and insisting it be a pot luck.

Death penalty for asking your coworkers what they did this past weekend.

Death penalty for mouth breathing, no wait, scratch that, those people are his base.

Death penalty for talking with your mouth full.

Death penalty for rolling your Rs.

Death penalty for mismatched socks.

Imma be honest, Alex Jones sporting a Hitler mustache is the least surprising news I’ve heard today.

Alex Jones has a Hitler mustache now and he says women love it! So cool.

It cannot be stressed enough that you do not have to "earn" your value. You are priceless exactly as you are simply because you exist. That's it. That was the criteria. You don't have to be useful to anyone else. You don't have to buy approval with your body or actions. You're. Just. Amazing.

This reality is working, perfectly and as a designed. We each get a heaping helping of stupidity for our sock puppet to enjoy.

As something of an olive branch to the Right, Disney will release Song of the South from the vault on Jefferson Davis' birthday.

They can't find anyone on the left that'll waste their time shooting at them because we have all realized they're illiterate buffoons burning alive in a self-created trash fire. So it's their people shooting everyone because the rapture didn't happen instead. Cool story MAGA

The FBI is frantically writing ANTI-TRUMP and DIAPER-DON in Sharpie on all found ammunition now.

Somebody gonna have to dig up Charlie Kirk’s corpse and hide it if he is to achieve godhood.

You know Charlie Kirk's utility is retired when now they're mad at an escalator

Engraving two bullets with "this bullet only lies" and "this bullet only tells the truth" to really stump the FBI

Elon Musk is arguing that he must get a trillion dollar compensation package because he is the only one who can keep robots safe. Three Teslas exploded in the time it took him to draft and send that tweet.

It’s gone so quickly from ‘boat people’ to all immigrants. So quickly from ‘I don’t mind if they come here legally and pay taxes’ to ‘actually it’s anyone foreign’. We are living in the ‘first they came for’ poem. All to give the population a scapegoat so the super rich can hoard yet more wealth.

Not my words but: If you think acetaminophen / Tylenol is bad for children… Wait until you hear about assault rifles.

When Trump undermines science in the U.S., Austria steps in. The Austrian Academy of Sciences just launched a program bringing researchers from MIT, Harvard, Princeton & more to Vienna. They call it Brain Gain — turning America’s loss into Europe’s win. #BrainGain #Science #TrumpEffect

In every conceivable way, the US will become stupider and poorer under authoritarian rule. It’s been happening for years, now it’s accelerating. The upside is the world will ultimately be a better place as it moves on from us. The US has nothing to offer anyone but cruelty now.

Yes, you. 😘✌️

my car was making a weird noise so i fixed it by turning the music up *adds ‘mechanic’ to resumé

👀😭😭

😭😭😭 ❤️

Sending magic✨ Art by Tijana Lukovic (via kerria)

btw, I'm skeeting from heaven, because rapture.

The hubs told me today that when he was out in the yard some kid walked by with his dad and whispered (loudly ) to him, "That's where the witch lives." I couldn't be more delighted.

Your Honor, in her defense, my client was in goblin mode at the time.

Saw someone post about how it's really fucked up that we all have to speculate about whether or not the FBI manufactured evidence to back their version of events. The thing is, you should always suspect that about law enforcement—these guys are just more clown-ish and obvious about it.

You know not every shooting involves engraved bullets and if you want to make your bullshit seem plausible you will maybe have to change it up once in awhile.

SOMEBODY PUT A BABY IN HER QUICK!!

Naming my baby Adolf to honor Charlie Kirk.

Pregnant? 👀

You know what goes great with mayonnaise? Pickles.