a preview; that is all

ATTENTION: for people new to my garbage (and for some who are very familiar with said garbage), I have an ongoing document of all things dark and morbid in and around Los Angeles - approaching almost 170 spots and possibly hitting 200 - check it out if you’re into that I HAVE SPOKEN

Hi all! i’m again raising funds for the Black Dog institute. Funds raised go towards new mental health treatments, education, and digital services for people in need. It would mean so much to me if you can donate or help spread the word. Thank you so much! www.onefootforward.org.au/fundraisers/...

THE INVENTOR OF VALET PARKING: what if I said that you could have your car stolen temporarily and you would have to pay someone to return it back to you

Hi all. Just a few days left of the fundraiser and $645 has been raised so far! If anyone is looking to make a donation, you can do from the below link. Thank you to everyone who has donated and shared the page…it’s very much appreciated ❤️

Due to the amount of work this project entails, I've decided to take this show over on patreon. I will update this page with content sporadically, but the tijuana bibles and comics are gonna be patreon exclusives as well as the bulk of my work. I really hope to see you there! Patreon.com/Darkdeeny

I don’t flirt. I tell a woman that I see the light of all creation in her eyes and walk away

On this date in 1977, a plane crash took the lives of several members of Lynyrd Skynyrd. To commemorate that event, today the first 100 guests get a free bird.

Hi all! i’m again raising funds for the Black Dog institute. Funds raised go towards new mental health treatments, education, and digital services for people in need. It would mean so much to me if you can donate or help spread the word. Thank you so much! www.onefootforward.org.au/fundraisers/...

doing meal prep (organising my meds)

*first day as a drug dealer* me: *giggles* "You want diet coke or regular?" Buyer: "I have a gun"

just had an everything shower (washed my balls)

Welcome to Bluesky! Here's my Starter Pack if you're looking for great accounts to follow go.bsky.app/Tg2K9bB

you can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts a brake line

said the same thing at my last gyn appt

when your crime is adorable, that's when they proseCUTE 😍

one of those little pistols that slides out of your shirt sleeve but instead it's an emergency snack hotdog

Notice anything new in our Australian enclosure? That’s right, to prevent inter-species jealousy, our koalas now sport fanny packs.

an extinction level event would fix me

an extinction level event would fix me

i'm once again running 100km in One Foot Forward this month to raise much needed funds for mental health research and critical services. for World Mental Health Day today, all donations will be DOUBLED. I'd be grateful for any donations and/or sharing my fundraiser page. thanks! oneff.co/e/NigelSmi

Friday night is ladies night at River Side! Try your luck with stud poker, stud roulette, stud blackjack, and stud craps.

A lot of people are saying, “Why does a casino need a volcano?”

straining so hard to pee that a bunch of stuff that looks like spaghetti comes out

My grandma who died in 2003 may have said inappropriate things but let’s get one thing clear. She was born in 1909. Times were different then. She was really old. A really old racist bitch. Anyway, the bingo room opens at 5pm tomorrow.

The White House finally released the Harambe Files. As he lay dying, his caretaker says he signed the following. "Death is but the next great adventure, but I don't know what I fear more, to descend to a hell of swans or ascend to a heaven of meerkats."

It's World Octopus Day! These magnificent creatures have 9 brains, 8 arms, 3 hearts, and they hunt sharks. What are you even doing with your life?

"I never imagined it would be like this," I whisper into the mirror as I put on my dinosaur costume.

leaving bsky for this site

i haven’t felt this sensual since this morning

Dad says I can own a lib when I'm old enough to take care of it by myself

(1-800-Flowers grabbing crotch like Sipowicz) Get your joyful fall birthday gifts right here

I'm here to remind you that there are a lot of wonderful things outside. What if you went on a quest to find out what makes them happy? I'm on drugs.

it’s only a beauty parlour if i’m there

halloween costume idea: slutty james cromwell

toads are just frogs that read the news

(punching a little gray alien in the stomach) encounter this!

Please refrain from making eye contact with our Bird of Paradise. It’s mating season and he’s already insufferable.

toads are just frogs that read the news

[Viewing police lineup] Me: 'Can you have them say "Looking good, man. Have you lost weight?"' Cop: 'That wasn't in your witness report' Me: 'My what?"'

While you were becoming one of the 1000 most engaging users on bluesky, I studied the blade

NEWS: Trump seems to be implying he is going to sue ABC for bringing back Jimmy Kimmel. This is why you never bend the knee to a bully.

halloween costume idea: slutty james cromwell

Sneaking into the rapture to fight god

it’s only a beauty parlour if i’m there

There have always been trans people. There will always be trans people. The only "trans agenda" is to live authentically. Removing trans rights, banning trans people from sports, taking away care for trans people puts you on the wrong side of history. Trans rights are human rights 🩵💗🤍

On your first day, it's important to earn respect by picking a fight with the biggest dude at the orgy.

my drive, hard.

Me: *makes a single small purchase from a brand* Brand: We are now betrothed