@royalisttristan.bsky.social affernoon is going gloriously, bud. Hope your day is going just as good.

You, me, high tea at noon

The time is out of joint

the cob exists only to slow the rate at which I am able to consume corn

What the actual fuck?

Someone called me a dumbass and honestly I’ve never felt so understood

A quick guide on "How to fall downstairs": Step 1 Step 6 Step 8, 9, 10, 11.

Yes

I’m only responsible for what I say, not what you understand.

Good morning Blue Birds🐦 Happy 1st Day of Fall🍂 & National Ice Cream CONE Day🍦 National White Chocolate Day😬 Woke up to a lot of INSANE news=🤡 BUT, I am still going to enjoy my day. I hope you will do the same🩷🍂🥰 Oh, & #ReleaseTheEpsteinFiles #TrumpUnfit4Office

Did God get this rapture on Temu?

Heartfelt thanks

Cocaine so white it gets used with a boba drink straw.

My therapist asked what my goals are. I said “to die in a way that ruins a family holiday.”

Finally got my nightmare fuel all in a row

Tickets for SommerMusik Schloss Rheydt Open Air Festival, Mönchengladbach on 27th August 2026 are on sale katiemelua.lnk.to/monchengladb....

Want better skin? Cry yourself to sleep. The salt exfoliates, and the puffy eyes distract from your wrinkles.

Happy Autumn Equinox!

I don’t know man.. Certain types of people disappearing up into the sky, sounds pretty cool to me.

Thinking about moving to Ireland because Australia has those big ass spiders

Named my tits Abbott and Costello They are both boobs one is bigger than the other

Good morning. ☕

@infinitescream.bsky.social learn a little lesson here!

*takes a deep huff from a freshly opened bag of coffee beans*

I'm still open for commissions and gigs!✨

Five random things you’ll find in The Stolen Planet: 🧁Alien Snack Cakes 🗿Space Archeology 🔫 Exploding Ray Guns 🦎The Sociological Implications of Having a Tail 🐸 A Frog Talkshow Host Sound fun? Preorder now! And don’t forget to enter the giveaway for a chance at a $100 gift card! #booksky

And this morning the Shed is a study in blue: all watered silk and velvet…

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day (in Scotland)? Thou art as thoroughly unreliable.

My first exposure to drag was Bugs Bunny.

Knowing you'll make it through doesn't make it any easier

He couldn't play basketball worth a flip, but he rescued 37 cats in his lifetime. Robert Wadlow, The Giant of Illinois, is the tallest (272 cm/ 8' 11") person in history. C. 1940.

after 13 missed stops and a crash you have to wonder is this the end of the line for me as a bus driver?

Just a wee reminder there are two fantastically funny fantasy books set in the same universe out (on Amazon), one is a hilarious Q&A with various fantasy characters, the other is a wickedly funny murder mystery. Go get them!

(me, feverishly focused on the task at hand) window seat guy: so you're for real clipping your toenails then

whatever son of a bitch calculated the distances between highway rest areas was clearly not a woman of a certain age

I can’t believe telling little jokes on the internet hasn’t made me a celebrity yet. I’m going to give it just four or five more decades. If I’m not famous by the time I’m ninety, then I’ll seriously consider a new hobby.

Terrific crowd this morning at the Olympic Cinema in Barnes: thank you to @sarahmccartney.bsky.social for insights on scent and much more; to Anne and the organizers of Barnes Bookfest for their hospitality, and to everyone who was there!

@royalisttristan.bsky.social 👏👏👏 nice game of football, Tristan. How often does the player that gets a home guy sent off also score a goal making the boos all the louder whenever he touches the ball?! 😂😂😂 You guys did an excellent job. Point well deserved.

#BookRelease #BookLaunch #NewBook Haunting Netherfield Years ago, tragedy separated a young couple. Still trapped between life and the hereafter, they beg for help. #Ghosts #MrDarcy #Elizabeth #PrideAndPrejudice #Regency #Romance #Romancelandia #KindleUnlimited #Books 📚💙 mybook.to/HauntNether

PRE-ORDER NOW AT THIS BARGAIN PRICE. Cross the threshold into uncharted realms. Three worlds. Three captivating tales. bookgoodies.com/a/B0FL7GHDWQ An unforgettable journey across distant planets and alternate dimensions. #scifi #ian1 #ebooks #kindle #IARTG #Booksky #SFF #books

@royalisttristan.bsky.social looks like you guys signed our goalie. Fun to hear NEC Nijmegen filter past on the BBC! 🤟🤟🤟

Edith found Bill on the generation ship's lower deck. "Why won't you answer my calls?" "Grandma, #perhaps you could quit voting to steal my food rations?" Her face soured. "My generation earned that food. Young people are lazy." He sighed and went back to fixing the life support system. #vss365

@andybasement101.bsky.social autumn breakfast Let us celebrate

Tickets for Amphitheater Gelsenkirchen on 26th August 2026 are now on sale. katiemelua.lnk.to/gelsenkirche...

And this morning the Shed is a cavern, concealed behind a rushing waterfall; with curtains of rain, and hangings of fern, and music from the water....

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