Christina
@clpatters.bsky.social
📤 1102
📥 299
📝 415
ROC, NY.
reposted by
Christina
Marisa Kabas
9 days ago
best trend of 2026. boo all these fuckers.
add a skeleton here at some point
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Christina
Rob Delaney
29 days ago
Kash Patel looks the way he does because this guy is always in his peripheral vision but no one else can see “him”.
add a skeleton here at some point
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Christina
Parker Molloy
about 1 month ago
Jesus Christ
add a skeleton here at some point
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I know 40 isn’t really “old”, but I found out today one of my coworkers was born the year I graduated high school, and now I feel like my bones are crumbling to dust.
about 1 month ago
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Christina
Patrick Monahan
about 1 month ago
I believe I will
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Christina
Vintage Jerseys & Hats
about 1 month ago
#SundaySwinginSeventiesLogos
: Every
#MLB
team in the style of Mr. Met. Which is your favorite?
#Baseball
h/t:
@djgloverepair.bsky.social
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Christina
Coach Finstock
about 1 month ago
Between the "male loneliness" beat and the "passport bro" beat, there sure is a lot of ink being spent on pieces of shit who can't find friends or dates because they're sentient piles of hot wet trash
add a skeleton here at some point
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The Mets may never win a game again.
about 1 month ago
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I could tell Bluesky wasn’t working earlier because it told me I had 30+ notifications.
about 1 month ago
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Christina
Parker Molloy
about 1 month ago
Absolutely dying at right-wing radio host Sid Rosenberg getting so angry that Mr. and Mrs. Met hugged
@mayor.nyc.gov
that he started calling them antisemites and became a Yankees fan.
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Christina
Monteiro
about 1 month ago
Y'all need to get the fuck off Substack.
add a skeleton here at some point
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@djdresden.clownpenis.monster
When is your ultra??
about 1 month ago
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My celiac biopsies came back negative, and they found basically nothing during my colonoscopy (both my mom and brother recently had to have surgery to remove polyps that were too big to be removed during their colonoscopies.)
about 2 months ago
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My middle school/high school self would never believe that Toadies, Cracker, My Morning Jacket, and Modest Mouse are all playing a festival in essentially my parents’ backyard this summer.
about 2 months ago
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Christina
shauna
about 2 months ago
girl take us with you
add a skeleton here at some point
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Made it through my EGD/colonoscopy on Friday, but please just put me under again until It Happens.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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Christina
Supper Mario Broth
about 2 months ago
In the spirit of April Fools' Day but without sacrificing the Supper Mario Broth veracity policy, here is a fact that seems so outlandish as to be a joke, but is actually true: in 1993, a Sega ad campaign briefly planned to use profanity to slander Mario.
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I have my first upper GI/colonoscopy on Friday. I’m nervous, but I keep reminding myself it‘ll probably feel better than all the bullshit 2026 has brought so far. Oh, and all the GI symptoms I’ve had for the past two decades.
about 2 months ago
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Christina
Kevin Elliott
about 2 months ago
WAR DON'T SEX CRIMES HIDE CRIMES
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Christina
Danielle Froom 🏳️🌈
2 months ago
"What'd you learn at school today sweetie" "P̴̗̑͌à̵̧̧̮̝͙̮͕͗̇̐̀̄̒͠ḷ̶̦̦͔̏̎̄̀̓a̶̡̙̞̮̦̙̎n̸̙͊̽͗̆̈́̓̎̕t̴̙̯̩̦͛̏̔́͌̾̂͜i̵͍̤̲̇ṙ̴̠̝̦̅͊̊̆ ̸̧̡̜͔̖̻̣͂ͅi̸͖̩̭̒̿̉̓̈́̇s̵̞̲̎̔̐̕͝ ̷̮͉͇̦̮́̃͆́̒m̶̱̥̖̖͓͉̱̦͋͌͒͗y̵͙͊̾̐̂͂͆̀̀ ̸̡̹͈̭̼̺̈́ͅͅf̷̢̘̭̠̮̫̱͕̌͘ã̴̡̘͈̜̤͔̖͚̐m̵̡̞̲̪̤͇̖̑̏̀͑͜ḯ̶̛͈̱̝͉̫̊l̶͖̥̫̘̺̹͖͗̆̒̌̿̚ͅy̴̾͐̑̌͑͜͜͝ ̵̧̧̻̙̉͘͝ņ̷͓͓͔͕͓̮̩̈̽̓͂̓̕͝ỏ̴̭̲͌͂̋̀͛̐̑w̶̧̮͚̼̩̼͔͗̒̊̍̄̍"
add a skeleton here at some point
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Christina
Mike Gianella
2 months ago
2025: meet Big Azz, the lovable catcher who all of America loves for his home run hitting prowess and his gigantic ass. 2026: we regret to inform you that Big Azz’s nickname has nothing to do with the disproportionately large size of his buttocks.
add a skeleton here at some point
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Christina
molly conger
3 months ago
my brain is at the mr burns oversized novelty germ door stage of near catastrophe every time i look at news of any kind
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Christina
Dave Itzkoff
3 months ago
add a skeleton here at some point
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Christina
Aaron Rupar
3 months ago
There's something deeply obscene and broken about the fact that Donald Trump and Pete Hegseth are bombing elementary schools in an illegal war of aggression, and there's still a sense among the opposition that it has to be explained in terms of gas prices in order to get American voters to care.
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Christina
Chris Person
3 months ago
Pain at the pump 🎶 Feel like a chump 🎶 Just checked the news 🎶 Outbreak of Mumps 🎶
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Why are people surprised they’re losing subscribers when they’re still using Substack for their posts.
3 months ago
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Christina
Dr. Gabagool and the Salami of Secrets
3 months ago
this is what it feels like to post on bluesky
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Christina
Brandon Friedman
3 months ago
They killed 180 children and their teachers in a double-tap strike on a school. The girls were 7 to 12 years old.
add a skeleton here at some point
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reposted by
Christina
stregasaurus
3 months ago
i truly just hate this motherfucker so much and have for so long. i just want him, specifically him, to be gone. it won't solve everything, but i am sick of his voice, sick of his brain, sick of his stranglehold on everything during this short time we have on earth
add a skeleton here at some point
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I refuse to get excited about False Spring this year because you know it’s just gonna fuckin‘ snow for the Lilac Festival.
3 months ago
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My coworker who made it a point to buy their house close enough so they could walk the commute (even in our snowstorms!) to not use their car to help the environment, sure does love using the “Qualified” work AI chatbot every day.
3 months ago
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Christina
gamera obscura
3 months ago
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Oops just signed up for a 15K.
3 months ago
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Christina
Rob Sheridan
3 months ago
NIN tour posters from 20 years ago this spring, during the Bush/Cheney wars. Same as it fucking ever was… Art direction by Designers Republic, design by me.
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Christina
The Onion
3 months ago
From The Archives:
loading . . .
Chuck Schumer: ‘The American People Deserve A President Who Can More Credibly Justify War With Iran’
WASHINGTON—In a pointed critique of President Trump’s foreign policy leadership, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer stated to members of the press Thursday that “the American people deserve a presid...
https://theonion.com/chuck-schumer-the-american-people-deserve-a-president-1835697625/
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Christina
Rodger Sherman
3 months ago
If FIFA did, for some reason, regularly give out a Peace Prize, you’d think #1 on the list of criteria for potential winners would be “do not start a war with another nation in the World Cup, directly before the start of the World Cup”
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Christina
The Screens of Pete and Pete
3 months ago
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Will there ever be a time again when I don’t feel like screaming multiple times per day.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Christina
Tim Onion
3 months ago
We are a few thousand subscribers away from being a bigger print newspaper than the Washington Post. We are a mere flurry away from humiliating one of the two Big Space Perverts. Ask not how a Space Pervert can dominate you. Ask how you can dominate a Space Pervert. Subscribe below.
add a skeleton here at some point
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I love it.
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Christina
Sewzinski
3 months ago
This was 10,000 years ago
add a skeleton here at some point
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Christina
shauna
3 months ago
i see the looksmaxxing dolts aren’t the only ones hitting themselves in the head with hammers
add a skeleton here at some point
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Christina
Blue sky nice ghost
3 months ago
PBSKids depicting a frenulum piercing. Alysa's power
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Oh, how I’ve missed this.
3 months ago
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Christina
shauna
3 months ago
i wasn’t sure if they did this because she’s female or brown or progressive and then i realized the answer is “yes”
add a skeleton here at some point
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Christina
Rando Chrontendo
3 months ago
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Heard this on the drive this morning, hopefully the sign of a good day.
loading . . .
Heaven 17 - (We Don't Need This) Fascist Groove Thang
YouTube video by Arhangel Gavril Bogovesnik
https://youtu.be/lV5dbcOmw6I?si=PCYAZFWtuWudTYA2
3 months ago
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Christina
Blue Heron Farm
3 months ago
You don't have to share your brain rot. You can just block people.
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A friend from college has started serious plans for a move to Canada at the end of this year, and I don’t think I’ve ever been more jealous of anyone.
3 months ago
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