you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of

This is how I stand when I pee in the shower

💯 The years I worked for the Canada Revenue Agency with mostly women were such an oasis in the middle of my career of extremely toxic blue collar jobs. Just angry, selfish, paranoid white man grievance culture

Might fuck around and drive across the lake to go camping

"Ceasefire" is a term used purely for narrative purposes at this point. It might as well mean "a quick pee"

What’s y’all’s favourite temperature of cross buns

‘Hey buddy, got any smokes?’

Post your last calculator result. No cheating!

This is my cheat weekend, just like every previous weekend and weekday

maybe if they stopped naming streets after men, they wouldn’t have to rename them anymore

sports gambling and prediction markets have tarnished the proud art of gambling. real gambling is when you play cards or dice with your friends and go home hours later with $17.00 more or less than you came with. if the beer doesn't cost more than the game you're not gambling you're getting scammed

so fucked that canadian healthcare considers ffs to be unnecessary like big dawg I need that shit wym bitches don’t just have 40k in the couch cushions

I know it's a silly jokey joke, but people REALLY need to stop anthropomorphizing their boyfriends. "My boyfriend told me" your boyfriend didn't "tell" you anything. "My boyfriend thinks..." your boyfriend can't actually think or feel; just output a convincing simulation of it based on probability 🙄

What’s your sign?

Transphobia is a cancer of the heart and mind. It is a useless fear, based on ignorance and cruelty. Trans people are not responsible for a single one of the problems we face. Do the world a favor and grow the fuck up.

I would never wear a "fuck Carney" shirt but I would absolutely wear a "Carney you bitch" shirt

TRANS RIGHT'S ARE HUMAN RIGHT'S - dashare.zone ADMIN

i think most rational, well-informed people of any current or former gender can agree saving young men from their stupidest and most harmful young male impulses is the oldest and most important reason for society to exist at all

JeauxJeaux

Tired: touch grass Wired: rip into the soil with your bare hands and huff it hard

New touch grass just dropped

It is a good day to farm

Just made myself laugh imagining a Hobbit-themed burlesque performance by a dancer named Lorta DaRingz.

You know a dub album is gonna be good if somebody meets somebody somewhere. Tell tale sign of a classic dub record.

*holding a press conference* i did not cahoot with that man

islands in the stream… no like that is what we are fr fr…..

If you see dog, post dog

And misogynist predators protecting misogynist predators remains the reason it's extremely fucking difficult for women to compete in higher education

you cannot Own someone on X in 2026. if you are using X in 2026 you are being Owned. nothing you can say will outweigh the shame of being a member of the world's largest incel group chat. if you run out of a bathroom covered in shit holding a turd no one will think the turd is the uncool one

I’m officially ‘need to take half a tab of acid before going out to see a band, or I will be too tired to make it to the end’ years old

[kicking in door of a sports bar, looking gay as hell] you boys ever heard of hockey???

The Spanish version is “the left liberates, the right oppresses” and once I learned that, both screws and politics made more sense

These motherfuckers are all going to be the death of us, but they're going to make sure to drain every possible cent out of us before they let us die. This is a system that must be dismantled, because it cannot be reformed.

i bought this tractor before john deere went crazy

Kay 9 hrs later. Not a bad lil hyperfocus sesh. A mini version of one of my summer arrangements ha

"This show about hockey is kind of gay." All shows about sports are kind of gay, because sports are kind of gay

Kirk: Beam me up Scotty Scotty: I will do it later

[doing backing vocals for Sam Cooke] Science Book

Sad that Selena never got to make a Christmas song.

hey buddy how’s your the holidays going? is it going jolly? is everything going very jolly for your big ass

I know it means arrogant, but I really want supercilious to mean very, very silly.

Post your Lock Screen

Remember, lazy alt text is worse than no alt text. A screenshot of a funny chat with the alt text, "chat with Mom" is useless (and annoying!) to people who can't clearly see the image. Think of a person who can't see your image, and write the alt text for them.

JoJo vs. The Hair Dryer

uncle political compass with axes "cryptic - overt" and "beer - weed"

The timeline is cooking today!

If I could count on my hands the number of times a man assumed my not laughing at a joke meant I didn't get it when the joke was just not worth the laugh I would have one hundred hands

that moment when you realize you’ve eaten more of something than you should have but there’s not enough left to leave for anyone else so it’s like ok here we go