treasure island golf, myrtle beach, south carolina, 1985

congratulations - you've unlocked some sort of crap

graduating from the University of Planet Heaven with high honors

Not now Chiitan I’m being hateful

i told ai to sell my car to the highest bidder. now we just play the waiting game

i asked ai to call an uber to shit city and book me an airbnb there and its coming in 5 minutes

Me: what do I always say Coworker: it’s gonna get worse before it gets better Me: ok what else do I say Coworker: fuck these customers Me: yeah that’s the one

biden, muttering: "gotta get me one of them... gamer. girls"

he was somewhat intemperately fond of the whale

5:30am wake-up, meditation 600am home gym, cold plunge 645am shower 700am green smoothie and egg white omelette 730am vhs mixtape of cartoons getting crushed characters getting crushed by anvils and pianos 830pm chicken and beans

bro are you touting crap again? do that in private please

This morning, at the Pacific Great Blue Heron rookery, there was lots of plumage flying around at the first nest when a parent delivered some food to the 2 branchlings! (Still haven't seen any of the young birds in flight though!) #birds #photography #ECK @everyheron.bsky.social

rfk jr saying he brought lunch and he reaches into a costco rotisserie chicken bag and rips off a bunch of meat and skin with his bare hand and serves it to you on a paper towel

NYT Opinion: "It's Time to Poop"

i asked chatgpt to invent a new kind of juice for me and its really good

"two little ones one big one" is always funny

my delusional beliefs are lowkey believable

neil young lyrics in randy savage voice is a kind of funny bit

reading the Daily Dogshit newsletter

nobody can poop

yeah i hated the cage at first but then they gilded it up so nice... its not so bad

barbers who know how to do anything except 'really aggressive fade' are becoming a critically endangered species

watching ai burger commercials 6 hours day

executioner: any first words? me: googoo gaga

oh word? next are you gonna tell me grass is green? gonna rock my world with a sky is blue? im so sick of your shit gilbert!!!

cracking open an ice cold can of fart soda and enjoying it by the reflecting pool

the egg's on fire, and there's no factory inside the goose and the sewers are all muddied with a thousand golden yolks and a dark beak honks

the fruit course will be jellied goblin

My earliest memory is seeing bigfoot

An interesting thing is going, here. In the cat world, being the one that grooms the other one means they're the boss. In the bunny world it's the other way round: the one being groomed is the boss. So these two are both thinking they're the boss. Original post

really wild how ferrante approaches siblings where brothers and sisters of other characters are these huge planetary forces in each other's lives but Lenu allegedly has three siblings and we don't even really know their names? at beginning of third book so maybe this changes

beos, operating system, screenshot (circa 2000) ultimacj.iwarp.com/pictures.htm

using the constitution to wrap my burger but instead of getting mad everyone agrees that its the most respectful and sacred thing you can do with paper

I feel perfectly

theyre dumping burgers into the reflecting pool and its healing it

inventing a special way to cook food where you put all the ingredients in a black trash back and tie it closed and microwave it for 1 hour

the president and cabinet and every member of congress poop and pee in the reflecting pool now. they do it by wading out a few feet and sitting down and going without even pulling their pants down. "we just let it diffuse. it kind of works"

well i think there *should* be a giant open sewer in the middle of the nations capital. to remind us of the brave plumbers who gave their lives to this country unclogging turds

child named "Earn 40% Off" ernie for short

is it a yankee thing to believe that polar seltzer is the best most premium big brand seltzer or is it just me

the government should make a separate kind of dollar called a 'doodle dollar' and instead of a presidential portrait is has a swirly dog poop. and its worth nothing and they print 10 trillion billion of them

can't say I think giannis and bam will work but i really really really want it to

the government should just print laundry tokens that have a separate standardized exchange rate

I love when these slimeballs say it’s “dehumanizing” to accuse them of all the shit they do. Go blow it out your ass.

fast food restaurant "Burger Horizon"

shut up. you can't fool me. i know eating fart sticks is healthy

bro not with the greaves on

still cant wrap my mind around the "really hot season" of socal being july-september instead of june-august