i’m often left to my devices; they’re pretty much all i have

president who spends one hour describing every dish of an impossibly huge an elaborate feast that's just for like 2 people who aren't allowed to eat until the description is done and by then lunchtime is over and the president is like "Well that's enough of that! Throw out the leftovers!"

you should be able to buy a single slice of pizza rolled up and stored in a can

does anybody know why they used roman names for all the planets except the greek uranus

selling something called "Cronus Butter" to the looksmaxxing guys thats just canned corn in ziploc bags

what do you say we pull up the bronze age wikipedia page and see where the night takes us ?

Bro you for real remind me of my favorite compliment!

in high level wc3 they exploit creep pathing bugs all the time and its referred to as "creep manip" and i think that's such a funny construct. "yeah hes a creep but im manipulating him so its fine"

for some reason the way he's talking about this is so funny to me. "they put me in the chamber for 12 hours a day... i was in there all the time"

our nation is now running a critical deficit of big beard game store guys that greet you with "well met, friend!"

“The Elder Scrolls” is what they say about you when you’re on your phone!

president who sits naked on a towel in the locker room staring at the wall and burping for 30 mins

people love talking about how fahrenheit is '0 means cold and 100 is hot' but my favorite thing like that is how 100mph is 'a really fast pitch' in baseball

dogg... my garters dogg

we need a president who invites you for white house lunch and it takes 6 hours and has 6000 courses but 2 seconds after the waiter puts the plate down in front of you the president says "ok thats enough of that, next course" and picks it up and throws it against the wall before you can take a bite

nothing like living in LA for a few years to put to bed any fear of 6 lane highways and roaches

i do think that santana smooth of all songs has the quickest short circuit to temporal vertigo for me

fart studio pro license is over $1k... damn

this account is too hard for me to follow because for every "yes... YES!" like this one theres 3 modern era ones i can't stand

the most millenial song is hvac system (6 hours)

Lmfao

guy who thinks Peeping Thomas is the one from the bible

Thieving Magpie (Dominaria Remastered) Artist: Una Fricker Rayne once made several unkind comparisons between the bird's naked opportunism and Urza's. #magicthegathering #mtg

A Palace of Skewers

i basically think that the destruction of higher ed is all downstream from it going to a state subsidized free or $5k/year thing (contemporary dollars) to a private $50-100k/year thing and it's doomed unless that changes

Another psychedelic ad for Levi's that I remember from childhood. Given the strong stylistic resemblance to "The Stranger," one would assume that this is also directed by John Urie, Snazelle Films. "Evolution" (year unknown). youtu.be/ZRlPtQD5oaY?...

Bizarre, psychedelic advertising for Levi's: The Stranger (1971), dir. John Urie, Snazelle Films

John Brown's birthday. Melville's weird-ass sonnet about John Brown. IMO about as good as a sonnet can possibly be.

not really a problem exactly but I think all the teams left in the nba playoffs are cool teams who id be happy see win a championship

its funny but looking at your phone and saying you need to take a call with a worried face actually is the easiest way to immediately get out of any social situation you dont want to be in

We need a president named Dick Wimp

P.P. Poop, Esq.

was wondering why this site was feeling Bonkers and then realized that they'd secretly re-checked 'autoplay videos and gifs' in my preferences again for the 6000th time

The Yoshi's Island map screen theme is remarkably similar to the song "Anywhere Is" by Irish singer Enya. Both of these were composed around 1994 and released in 1995, meaning that neither of them could have been influenced by each other and this is an astounding coincidence.

UK friend was once making fun of the US saying "you all have addresses like 35,935 Maple Tree Avenue"

American guy: “Hon hon hon.” Haha. “Oui, le baguette.” lol. Nah, nah. It’s all in good fun. French guy: Haha. “Ooh, I love to buy Funko Poppe and 326 dolleure gas at ‘obby Lobby.”

was the surge of bioengineering and bioscience downstream of increased medicare funding and ultimately a post- cold war reorientation of engineering away from dod work towards this other federal injection of money into the economy

saying "im about to reveal a great secret..." and then farting

former president getting interviewed about their time in office and they immediately start launching into a description of the thousands of grubhubs they ordered and let rot on the white house carpet

if the white house isnt waist deep in rotting grubhub then the president is unc

ive realized it was Game Over ever since i found out that ai program that you'd give your canvas login to and it would just automatically detect new assignments and submit them

wizard named Incompetencio The Hapless

the subscription service to roboshit fartcare is a scam. just buy fart care for your roboshits as needed

interesting point i just read, that part of the reason all phones are boring could be a convergence of operating systems - every non-apple brand is using android, and part of the creativity and breadth of phone designs involved the OS itself working with the hardware

we need a president who you meet for lunch at the whitehouse and they grubhub you and everyone else 10 meals each for lunch and when you say you can't eat that much food they brush you off and say "fine fine just leave the rest wherever. just put them somewhere somebody will eat them"

coolest cycle of all time imo scryfall.com/search?q=sca...

yeah im kind of an "outlaw" professor. the bad boy of the quad if you will...

been one of those weeks