I teleported a lot in my college days. Some may have said I had a "teleporting problem" and that they were worried about me.

NEW: This new report, from BBC, is the best takedown of the insanity of Trump you will see anywhere. Calm, coherent and repeating only Trump’s own words. Devastating. Brilliant work once again from Roz Atkins. (🎥 BBC News)

Fetterman is doing tremendous damage to the reputation of the Big Oaf community. Big Oafs did not ask for this kind of toxic representation. Now we must lumber back into the shadows, hiding under bridges wearing our most somber JNCO jean shorts, drowning in both our sorrows & voluminous denim

I always thought that Knife-Kid was the Lisan al-Gaib

this morning anya taylor-joy was hit with a question that has never been asked before in the history of the universe

Jason Isbell Explains How Music Is Like The News But For Sounds. Subscribe to The Onion at https://membership.theonion.com/?campaign=701a500001bfegPAAQ.

OH MY GOD THEY ACTUALLY DID THE THING!!

Dë Bünskees üf Inskeewinskee (2022)

The ball touched the ground first

that’s a good ol fashioned jack off

do you want a godzilla? because that is how you get a godzilla

Happy March 15. Here is my favorite Ides of March meme:

Straight shots, followed by a period of regretting my life decisions.

One more hospitalization will fill up his loyalty punchcard that gives him one (1) free hospital stay.

Bob Can't-see

I support free trade

Being dead doesn't undue being a rapist and an asshole.

She's portraying Gollum

Woke 2.0 cancelled him and made him out of shape

Which celebrity death hurt you the most?

Even entertaining the idea that you can get addicted to gooning, I’ll never let society trick me into being ashamed of the one addiction where the primary consequences are a healthy heart & a long life But don’t take it from me. Take it from Ernest Borgnine, who beat his meat for 95 years straight

To be honest, I just never really never believed. It also helped that my parents decided that weekends are already too busy, so we stopped going except for Christmas Eve and Easter when my sister and I were like 13-14.

Oh shit, it's @pftompkins.bsky.social dog-friend!

listen all y'all, it's a

if you’re not on TikTok (or insta probably) just letting you know that Courtney Cox mostly posts videos of herself playing the drums

As someone who works at a credit union in the department that handles credit reporting/credit disputes, I am BEGGING YOU to become financially literate. This is the stupidest thing I have read on the internet today.

Maxx will be so mad that Ravens fans love Omar from The Wire and not the cops

dog this is straight up fucking crazy

*Solemnly* hit me with a shovel daddy

Day-to-day with butt stuff

Good. This old fuck with shitty views should retire. And I know they won't do it, but NBC should remove that perv Tirico from the prestige roles. The dude is and has always been a creep. Look it up. He was suspended over his creep shit, and he keeps getting major gigs.

Poem in the Shape of the Poet Beating Henry Kissinger to Death with Their Bare Hands by Felix

Go State.

🇺🇸 Men and Women 🏒🥇

Eat the Rich

Counterpoint: Eat the rich

When my aunt was in hospice for her cancer, I wanted to give her the good news that the Pirates traded their closer we couldn't stand. She managed a tiny smile until I told her that they traded him to the Yankees, which I forgot was her AL team since childhood. It was the last thing she ever heard.

Yes we absolutely can

I wear my Pirates hat in solidarity with our shared mediocrity. Me as a person and them as a franchise.

Aww Megan went and adopted herself a golden retriever as a boyfriend! Good for her!!

Same thing happened with my great-grandmother in the '90s. She named her "Minnie" and then a year later re-named the cat "Mickey" after the vet broke the news to her.

Choose your fighter

Pennsylvania, I am so proud of you, sweetie!

oh my god

Oh shit, they should make this a tour!

Damn, Joe Burrow is having a fun off-season!