Fuck mac & cheese Kill Pho and Marry spaghetti!!

armoire if it’s a boy, credenza if it’s a girl

This rude ass bitch

What’s my secret? I was under the impression we were all aware how fucked up ANTM was when we were watching it live 20 years ago.

It was a great #FatBoyfriendFriday

Myki Meeks, that is all #dragrace

Myki Meeks it seems I’ve grown quite fond of you tho there are no sexual urges or desires you come to me as a long lost friend whom I once picked apples with in papa’s orchard

need them to hard enforce the CELEBRITY part of snatch game as a celebrity impersonation challenge

AI mode on Google is such a fucking eyesore

My God I want to be the grill guy so bad.

made fan art for my favourite horror movie

People posting about bulking/gaining weight and then they literally just have my normal body type and weight… hate it here

Listened to the new Charli album otW to the movies!! Going ✈️ "Send Help"!! 🎟🍿

The children long for the mines.

we have to post cock today instead of Friday to celebrate Fat Tuesday

Cathy if she were from Brooklyn: AY I’M WUTHERING HERE!

i’ve cried a lot about this lil guy #がんばれパンチ #GoPunchGo

I like to go out Wear something nice And push

I really would like a politician—a group or party would be even better—willing to extol the justice and social benefit of immigration, instead of promising a nicer and more orderly police state.

no love refused bottom 💝

I am experiencing a severe thunderstorm.

valentine's day isn't just for couples, it's also a day to celebrate love. for instance, i would love it if housing prices came down.

Happy St. Valentine's Day oomfie, you can have the strawberry a top my parfait ☺️

Oh worrrrrk!! Happy St. Valentine's Day Miss Ma'am She!!

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

i’m a valentine’s day truther bc what is better than a day dedicated to telling people you love them ??? ❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️ i love you, bloomfitines !!!!

Happy Valentine’s pigs

I hope i’m not just a girl to you but also kind of your uncle

My faggoty ass Fri. The 13th ☺️

Can I come over and do this

Happy #FridaytheThirteenth ! The only official and accurate picture of the Friday Thirteenth Jinx. ( #PhantomsFriday for good measure.)

She's kinda giving that meme of sexy Marge/Lois/Linda

Walked @ the Arboretum after but I still can't wait to get home to unbutton my shirt

Had the yummiest brunch

When artists started announcing they're leaving Wasserman, I thought, "Duh. Who would be foolish enough to stick around during all this?" Found my answer.

Salad Suppliers Pledge To Continue Including Just Enough In Bag That Some Will Go Bad If You’re Single https://theonion.com/salad-suppliers-pledge-to-continue-including-just-enoug-1819579707/

Goin' ✈️ báhn mì!!

Germany really knocked it out of the park with pretzels and beer.

🤕

this is your PSA to get a colonoscopy. people have been getting colon cancer at surprisingly young ages these days

James Van Der Beek, who starred in the teen drama series "Dawson’s Creek," has died at 48

You wanna GUESS...

Penny Marshall is "The Looker"

Oh well seated w a blue raspberry margarita and a small popcorn for "The Moment"!! 🍿

hey everybody! so this is the way i see it, we need to completely recreate human civilization—

Now Idk if my ass is hairy enough for my outfit 😰🤕

lol donald trump invaded venezuela and captured maduro all so that they’d stop sending oil to cuba and start sending it to israel jesus christ man its just too ridiculous

As a queer person I am entitled to a little jester’s privilege in the workplace