Just remembered to turn my alarms off for tomorrow. Quick reminder to do the same if you’re off work for the holiday.

We went to the lake yesterday and on the way home today we stopped by taco cabana for breakfast and they were out of eggs but that wasn’t a problem because potato bean and cheese tacos are fine for breakfast.

Stubbed toe on the coffee table.

A kolache is pretty much a flour dog, the corn dog’s cousin. (Save your indignation, klobasniky pedants, I shan’t be reading it)

Consult your doctor to see if your heart is healthy enough to watch Bryan Abreu pitch in high leverage situations for the Houston Astros.

Chicken and vegetables over couscous.

Sarah is making homemade spaghetti and meatballs (turkey and spicy Italian sausage) for dinner tonight with what I’m sure will be a delightful little side salad with a champagne vinaigrette. Amped.

Check out this sweet burn I got from accidentally dropping the edge of the sear grate of my grill on my hand on Sunday.

We’ve been dealing with some lead time issues from a specific supplier and a customer placed an order for a part back in March and called for an update today and I told him “Dave, you’re never going to believe this. That part is stuck in the Strait of Hormuz” and the cigg cackle he let out was lmao.

What I see. What the grill sees.

“Have the weather report show only 5% chance of rain before he lights the grill. Have the 5% chance be his exact location and make it pour down rain like a cow pissing on a flat rock right after he lights the grill.”

This is what republicans think the potato and the egg and the cheese are doing inside of the tortilla when you order a potato egg and cheese breakfast taco.

My youngest cousin has his senior prom this weekend and honestly I cannot for the life of me believe how fast time has gone by.

Once I got kicked out of and banned from a local Home Depot because I wanted a lawnmower that was in stock on the top shelf but couldn’t find a store associate to help me so I got on one of their forklifts and got it down myself. I did not know that I was not supposed to do that.

I was pulling 720’s and backflips and tail whips over doubles and triples in 1997. I was doing flatland bullshit all over campus at SFA in Fall of 2000. I stomped some bicycle shit.

This may be the stupidest photo I’ve ever seen of me in my entire life. My old Jeep Cherokee. Old redline bike. Stupid chinstrap beard and chili bowl haircut. How did I ever find love is beyond me.

Anyone wanna see some pics from 15 years ago?

One of my favorite variations of having your cake and eating it too is “non si può avere la botte piena e la moglie ubriaca” which basically means you can’t have a drunk wife and a full barrel of wine.

Sarah has generated a new emoji that unfortunately but perfectly encapsulates this Houston Astros baseball team this season so far.

Reckon I might grill a bunch of fajitas and tablitas and chicken and sausage a little later on today.

One of my favorite variations of having your cake and eating it too is “non si può avere la botte piena e la moglie ubriaca” which basically means you can’t have a drunk wife and a full barrel of wine.

I think the powers that be finally realized that I respond to the carrot more than the stick. You can use the stick and I’ll pull that wagon train a mile. You offer me a carrot and I’m pulling it for 5 miles. And the carrot doesn’t even have to be monetary, it could just be letting my voice be heard

“Bring out the piping hot sizzling platter of combo fajitas for two. Now drop it off at the table next to them that was seated a full 15 minutes after they placed their order.”

Smash burgers and the hit USA Network television series Burn Notice. No better way to spend a Sunday night.

I think once your hair is long enough to put egg whites in it to make it stand straight up it has crossed the business appropriate vs party mohawk rubicon.

One time my supervisor called me to ask if one of my new hires really had a mohawk and I replied “yeah, but it’s a business appropriate mohawk so it’s fine,” and my supervisor didn’t press the issue any further.

Happy Mother’s Day. My mom rules.

Yesterday my mom texted asking what time Sarah and I were coming over for Mother’s Day so I sent her this video.

One of my customers/good friends asked my opinion on something that he absolutely should not do HVAC related and i told him “yeah, bro, I think that’s a bad idea but the Bible does say that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you so who’s to say?” He decided not to do it.

Sarah made strawberry tiramisu. Was good.

I don’t even care to know what Tom was thinking.

It’s a listen to Velvet Underground afternoon.

One of my cats: *meow* Me: I hear you and your feelings are valid. One of my cats: *MEOW* Me: You are heard and I am taking that under consideration.

I like this.

I think it’s pathetic when June Bugs die in May.

In my next life I hope to be a Salsa Sommelier.

Being able to call my dad to complain about work because he works in the same industry as me, albeit working for a different company than me, is one of the greatest things that I have going right now. He always settles me down and puts things in perspective. I am grateful for it.

Remembering a random song: Atomic Heels by Secret Machines. youtu.be/j0ViHXgxOI0?...

We’re all in agreement that Larry is short for Larold, right?

A boy on a kitchen couch. A boy on a kitchen counter.

Checking the camera roll on my phone to make sure I don’t have any old footage of Mike Vrabel and Diana Russini.

Throw together shrimp pasta.

Our traditional Mother’s Day meal is croque madame. Sarah always knocks it out of the park for our moms (and dads).

Ladies and gentlemen, the Houston Astros.

My wife made this sign for the mail carrier. I can now confirm it IS a brown recluse.