You want a Salt Life sticker for your F-250? You legally are required to live at least 100 miles from the actual coast.

Boudin acquired.

Can check.

For comfort. For solace. For the end of my…

PLAY. MINE. NEXT.

Now listening to bound for the floor by local h.

You should not follow me.

Can’t even begin to imagine how disappointed George Bush is that he didn’t even get a little tongue flick around the tip, maybe down the shaft.

Top 3 pickles: 1.) wrapped in a slice of turkey and a slice of Swiss that has been smeared with cream cheese 2.) whole pickle cut into slices then lightly breaded and fried and then dipped in ranch 3.) eaten straight from the jar in front of an open refrigerator at 3:37am

Sometimes I get too high and then I have a breakdown. This time is going to be different though.

Gotta be honest, some nose beers would hit.

Today at work I found an error in cost and pricing and I sent an email off to purchasing and sales and immediately I got hit with a response that was a screenshot of several dozen messages. Apparently I’ve been finding this error like every 18 months for the past 9 years and then forgetting about it

It’s a bad night to be a bottle of Italian salad dressing in the back of the fridge at 3:12am.

If I respond to you with lol or lmao then you can be assured I saw the joke you made.I only reply “audibly laughed” for the real shit.

My wife responded to a text I sent her with lol and I resounded back with “I love you too, babe.”?!?

I wonder what Ha Ha Clinton-Dix is up to. Just remembering some guys.

🤔

Just absolutely nuking my career by posting every single Trump Clinton meme I see on LinkedIn.

I don’t think Jesus would want me to rely on a man-made facsimile of, you know, the God-made embodiment of God.

Ol boy Trump was slobbing on some Bill Clintoris.

I am not normally good at posting so apologies in advance to anyone who has recently followed me.

Jesus Christ.

Well well well if it isnt the Blowjob Brothers

Good name for a fishing boat is Pescadorable.

Went to the barber. Got a haircut.

Grilled a link of jalapeño sausage. Made quesadillas.

I hate how close REK (Robert Earl Keen, prolific Texas songwriter) looks to RFK (you all know the Junior, science denying weirdo).

I only want 2 things: 1. For all people to be able to live a comfortable life in dignity and respect. 2. To drain the world’s oceans in order to find and kill god.

I bet that Fish post would end up with some of the most heinous responses ever from people I once admired and respected and in some cases loved if I posted it over on Facebook.

Just realized that my wife hid the pot from me before she went out of town.

Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.

I’ve been informed that Sarah is making a pit stop in Louisiana on her way back from Mississippi to get us 10lbs of fresh boudin.

It’s almost Thanksgiving which means it’s almost time for my favorite side dish that Sarah started making for Thanksgiving like 8 years ago; Savory Chorizo Bread Pudding.

5 years ago I made this stupid meme.

These idiots. Margarita, Maeby, and Birdie.

I keep seeing all these posts about the Northern Lights being visible as far south as Oklahoma? That is too cool. Tomorrow, on my way to work, I get to see the Eastern Lights.

Sent this to my dad.

Think tomorrow night might be Hot Dog Dinner.

If everyone in Houston were to turn off their lights right now I bet we could see at least one or two stars maybe.

My Texas A&M Corpus Christi Islanders basketball team almost kept it to within 30 points agains the Kansas Jayhawks tonight. Close game.

“Ball and Chain” by Social Distortion hits different when you’re eating a slightly burnt frozen pizza and drinking a lukewarm Miller Lite while your wife is out of town.

I’ve been rewatching Spartacus Blood and Sand for the first time since 2009 and wow it certainly is something.

Strategic Frozen Pizza Reserve

The Just Bare spicy chicken breast strips from Costco straight out of the air fryer on some toasted Dave’s Killer white bread with Muenster cheese and a little bit of ranch makes for a delightful little had a rough day at work bachelor dinner.

The time has come to grill steak.

Is this a glow up?

Get a load of this steak.

Check this picture of my mom and dad and I from like 1984 that my mom found in their closet this morning.

Went to Costco this morning to get two batteries for my truck. I also got a slice of pizza & a hot dog & folded the hotdog into the slice of pizza & ate them both at the same time & now I have indigestion. Was good going down but now I’m dealing with the reckoning. Do not advise.