The Astros signed whomst?!? Happy new year indeed.

Bo Ssam is getting there.

Happy New Year.

Really hope that everyone has fair winds and following seas in 2026.

Carson Beck looks like a pug crossed with a chihuahua. Good game tho.

I’ve been to the French Quarter. I don’t have to imagine.

Times Square at any point in time seems like a fucking nightmare. I couldn’t imagine how awful it would be on New Year’s Eve.

This is the appropriate thermostat. All of the settings are correct.

Goddamn Miami’s defense is something else.

Throw your boss off by responding to any sort of praise given to you with “that might be the nicest thing that anyone has ever said about me.”

Nice timbers, bro, would be a shame if someone were to shiver them.

The Salt Life sticker font is awful and I always misread those stickers as saying Slut Wife.

Sarah found a 2.5” thick bone in ribeye that was like 3lbs on sale at HEB for $12.

Thank you Facebook for reminding me that 5 years ago I bought a camper only for it to be stolen from the storage lot like 6 months later lmao.

Apparently a tweet I made got put in the Houston Chronicle which got circulated around family members which has them asking questions about me already answered by my Facebook posts that they have already read.

We always cook our dried black eyed peas with a package of bacon, diced white onion, beef broth, and dashes of Chillula, and a 12oz beer in a large pressure cooker akin to an Instant Pot. We serve it with spinach, sautéd with butter, minced garlic, diced onion, and a pan of butter-soaked cornbread.

What’s your traditional New Year’s Day meal, and what are you planning on having for New Year’s Day this year if different? My family has always had some combo of pork/black eyed peas/cabbage. Usually just the traditional southern way. This year Sarah is making Bo Ssam and also black eyed peas.

Over a decade ago I got asked by a customer to have a part delivered to a job site as it was an emergency, so I took it myself. When I got to this big ass house I knocked on the door and a former Houston Rockets head coach answered the door in pajama pants and a t-shirt. I handed him the part & left

Trying to think of the best way to serve chili and so far I’ve come up with: Frito Pie Over cornbread topped with sour cream and shredded cheese On a fully loaded baked potato Over tamales with queso already poured over them Inside of a kolache (klobasnik for the pedants)

You can put almost anything on a baked potato.

Every single payment on my friends Venmo feed is something like FF or fake football league or I FUCKING HATE FOOTBALL lmao.

Every year at this time Sarah cleans up her lineup of copper pots while watching Die Hard. Here’s this year’s results.

Sorry. But here it a short video from when my cat first got perceived by one of my dogs.

Sorry. But here it a short video from when my cat first got perceived by one of my dogs.

Play that same song.

Stock photos.

The Houston Texans are calling THE GOOD PLAYS™️ today.

LETS. FUCKING. GOOOOO. TEXANS.

When the Houston Texans defense does something awesome but then you realize that means the Houston Texans offense has to come back onto the field:

Can someone please remind the goddamned mosquitoes that is is DECEMBER 27TH.

Seems like a little bit too much sulphuric acid imho.

When the Houston Texans defense does something awesome but then you realize that means the Houston Texans offense has to come back onto the field:

Us Secretary of agriculture when eggs go north of $80 a dozen.

Crazy how popular food has gotten lately.

Some biscuits with scrambled eggs and a couple of breakfast sausage patties on top all smothered in jalapeño gravy would probably hit pretty hard right now.

[colin meloy voice] my cheese wife my cheeeeeeeese wife my cheese wiiiiiiii ii ii iiife

I think a lot of you missed the fact that a bbq pit full of fajitas fell of the back of a truck in the middle of the night in Houston.

Here’s the meat and sauce Sarah has going for the baked ziti she is making tonight and I’m amped.

Beans in chili guy also demanding that meatloaf have a center that’s just piping hot baked beans.

Sarah was in line at HEB today and the guy in line in front of her at the checkout asked if she had a husband named Ryan and she said yes and apparently he follows me on Twitter and thinks I’m funny and it was a very pleasant interaction for her so that’s cool.

About to do my favorite form of gambling; driving 23 miles home from work when the expected fuel mileage on my vehicle is showing 23 miles until empty.

Okay, Houston … we’ve had a problem here.

The first time I had a pass thrown to me in a high school football game I was wide open but got nervous and dropped it and immediately got pulled from the game and when I got to the sideline my position coach yelled “GOD DAMMIT, LOSTIN, YOU GOT HANDS LIKE FEET.”

Look, man, if you tell me a plate is hot… and even if I can see it’s a sizzling hot cast iron platter, I am still going to touch that motherfucker and burn the shit out of myself and there isn’t a damn thing I nor anyone else can do to stop it.

I hope I’m never involved in a fajita related mishap.

Okay, Houston … we’ve had a problem here.

Here’s a short video of my grandma reading us Twas the Night Before Christmas on what was her last Christmas with us.

11 Christmases Married.

She Sells Sanctuary Down By the Seashore