what I lack in smarts I more than make up for in charm. thankfully.

the way all crypto has done is make everyone who engages a target for any number of crimes lmfao

just found out those of us who don’t use chatgpt for any reason are hotter/sweeter little angels than anyone who does :/

I’m more than just a pretty face, nice cock, and fat ass. I’m also annoying, and you can jot that down. 😊😌

I hate being the Life of the Office bc the one day you wanna be a little moody and withdrawn everyone wants to be in your business

just wanna let you know I forgot to refill it and hit the rest of the bowl dry before realizing :(

most pick-me trait you’d never have to ask for head. You’d have to pry me off of you, actually

i’m just a chill guy, standing in front of another chill guy, asking to get his dick sucked

buying groceries is so depressing like what the fuck

just spilled bong water all over the carpet 😀

#scs lowkey my favorite day of the week

the midnight sun version with muni long is better than the original 😝

if I come back from “running errands” with dirty knees, mind your business

charli’s new singles

quick everyone Venmo me so I don’t have to go to work today

I love when oomfs start waking up before I’ve gone to bed. they’re in tomorrow and I’m still in today 🥰

WTF both convenience stores I went to are closed… where the fuck is a slut who misbehaves late at night supposed to get a donut in this city

twink running bag check at the orgy could not believe I was 32. These boys make me feel so good 🤪

enjoying my gay little walk despite it all

woke up from a nap and started lashing

so many points at the dispo I got a 1/2 for $40

and where is the relief fund for those of us who were taken to screenings of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry?

someone Venmo me $400!!! Tattoo emergency!!!!!! emergency being that I don’t wanna pay for another one

enjoying my gay little walk despite it all

just now realizing how psychotic it was that my high school year books were over 300pg long for no reason

The fact a certain blonde pop star had music from her latest album used on the White House’s tik tok page and hasn’t made a statement condemning it … yeah you’re over

like you guys don’t have a Plan B for when your dad storms out of the gathering and takes the car?

Thankful I’m from a bickering family (on both sides) bc at least it’s never boring

not going to Thanksgiving this year bc trips to sc two months in a row are just not plausible rn, and that’s fine with me bc my family is fighting over leftovers. 🤪 For a meal that has not taken place yet. Nobody even knows what the leftovers situation will be and there’s already bickering.

nobody yell at me but I shaved my mustache off too

if there is a threshold for something just know mine is really low no matter what it is

“marijuana is a gateway drug” yes, to thoughts like this:

sutton stracke is literally tree trunks from adventure time. do people realize this

can’t fathom entering a new place without being open to making a friend. Even going into a store for a minute. Your new bestie could be anywhere 🤩

worked a few hours this morning and stopped by royal farms for a coffee on my way out and my friend was working (she’s normally off on Saturdays) so I asked her why they had her in on a weekend “I don’t know I’m still drunk as hell I’m just ringing people up. I don’t even know if it’s right” lmfao

gm everyone don’t forget to TRIM THOSE NAILS. wym you wanna finger my pretty little princess pinhole with a witch’s nail?

if you save a person’s post you should have to give that person $5

bruise me up, i'll eat all of my pride i know that i was made to divinize

bad mood #fcf 😠

she’s getting into the drama I’m so dead

LANA ON MORMON WIVES???

h*gh as hell, pasta made, time to get back into these mormon wives

bad mood #fcf 😠

9:22 hmmm gn boyfriends in my phone

not more Elizabeth Vargas on selling the OC 🤢

I have no shame in liking the story you posted 43 seconds ago because I understand that the early bird gets the worm (cock)

the woman I sit by who only listens to dubstep (she’s an excision mom) heard Lux playing from my headset and was like “what is that??????? 🧐” and then I caught her listening an hour later

am I allowed to say this is good

this made me blush 😳

day turned around I was just in the elevator with a really hot man