yall please no more sad monkey

where were you when Jonathan Cheban called me a “lil bitch” online on 2/25/15

playing balatro and losing 82,000 times in a row

I know it’s only February but I think we can all agree Alysa Liu is in the running for Diva of the Year

buttery, flaky crust

to quote my uk baddies: wots all this then?

hate for buzzballs disappearing upon learning it’s a woman owned company

another day Online

making me care about the Olympics 🥹

god there is nothing I find rewarding about cooking. I truly would take a tasteless pill once a day to be satiated to avoid preparing meals

the Chesapeake really is the superior american bay…

yeah i’m from the bay area

turning off ALL replies to your posts… babe just get a substack or a diary

hazel london was soooo real when she said it’s upsetting me and my homegirl

*incessant barking*

The amount of negative karma people are generating by continuing to use twitter is probably astronomical 🤭

Fuck Grok

I wanna scream and parachute out of my office window

gm from baltimore

love is blind is so compelling to me because of how uncomfortable it makes me feel. it’s like watching people eat bugs on fear factor to me

eating hummus

everyone on love is blind is around my age but they all look way older to me lmfao straight people age like milk

thought twoomfs were the same person until they posted almost identical photos 20 seconds apart and I noticed one had a tattoo and the other didn’t

maxxing is out btw The Boys got ahold of it

ALL OF MY BITCHES, QUE SUBAN LA MANO

my ultimate celeb crush is vin diesel and nobody’s ever gonna take that crown

out of myself is fr one of Charli’s best songs omg on repeat in this bitch

croc love on the tl, croc love on the tl

Thinking crocs are ugly is actually the most pedestrian opinion, bc when you’re actually fierce, it overrides aesthetic form, especially in favor of utility

Britani leaving rhoslc this is a fucking national crisis

I’m actually the pit tax collector so I’m exempt from posting

gotta leave work early, all the blood went from my brain into my dick from the boner oomf just gave me so I’m now unable to complete tasks effectively

IVE NEVER EVEN READ IT HAHAHAHAH still can’t wait to see and love the movie and make nerds mad

counterpoint: I don’t care if wuthering heights is nothing like the book. I don’t care if it sucks. I’m here to look at hot people and hear charli

I should be allowed to yell at people at work

it’s me vs the crease in my hair from my headset today

cannot believe I have to keep doing this (work) when I’m so sleepy

boyfriend shopping

There is nothing admirable about working when you should be resting

“The ability to work from anywhere” is actually the biggest trap lmfao so you wanna ruin the vibe of any space possible by working in it? Nice

sure I will hear you out. Until you say something I disagree with

Happy Rush Limbaugh Is Still Dead day to all who celebrate.

not falling prey to “giving something up for lent” when society forces us to give up so much of our happiness to just exist. y’all have fun with that catholic suffering tho

we have to post cock today instead of Friday to celebrate Fat Tuesday

bringing this back. for the ideal day and for how hot I still find this man to be

nope! next question

need to stop going after guys who work in nightlife bc our free time rarely coincides with each other lmao no I can’t come over at 12:30 on a Tuesday

Coming back to overwatch is a little overwhelming. Like 7 new characters I don't know and what the hell is the whole perk system 🤣

clients coming in so I couldn’t wear a hat today smh