4 mimosas deep in the suburbs btw

I actually hate when I have to spend a minimum of $1 anywhere

I have been caaaaaaaged for good

the fact I can eat this entire pizza (thin crust, light cheese, chicken, green peppers and onions, precisely) and am still within my calorie deficit .. gag it!

my soul cat btw 💜

this actually sort of being her opus

When I have dementia and hear this for the first time omg…

hi I had too much thanksgiving food at work

reminiscing on when I was 18 and would eat a double decker turkey and cheese sandwich and a hot munchies bag for lunch daily and still be rail thin 💔

one like and I will do as little as humanly possible at work today

good morning!

grateful to have a job in this terrible economy but god DAMN could it be something I actually like?

another week

Leg day has me feeling like this today

watching the Paris Hilton vehicle House of Wax btw

Having a salad for dinner because I choose my own destiny

The new Predator movie was good AF!

got a free round of martinis again because I’m hot :’)

song so good I had to ride it btw

the concept of me going out on a Friday is so foreign but we persist

Eusexua AFTERGLOW is better than Eusexua and has several songs of all time on it in this essay I will…

coffee hitting like the strongest cocaine today 🥳

Everything sort of bothering the fuck out of me today 😇

It’s a gem, folks.

New Robyn song dropping when?

Cannot stop saying “…Bingo” à la Emilia Pérez

there *is* such a thing as too big a dick btw

I'm humbly asking for your help. as an independent musician, I pay for it all: making music, advertising it, playing it, everything. for tax purposes this year, I need to show that I'm making a profit so the IRS doesn't view it as a hobby. to do that this year, I have to make $439, exactly.

the concept of working in legal and working on court holidays seems illegal

Wake up, sweetie! It’s time to get your pittance 😁

American politics makes a lot more sense when you realize that the GOP is afraid of pissing off the GOP base, and the Dems are afraid of pissing off the GOP base, but neither party is afraid of pissing off the Dem base.

Just saw Morgan Wallen sweatpants at the thrift store and had to get the fuck out of there immediately

Losing and gaining the same three pounds over and over

7 inches of snow in November just seems really fucking diabolical

multigenerational debt 💜

She had her Ray of Light on her first album btw

?

the fact that I randomly put that new tame impala album on without ever hearing a song and it was full of classics …

Feel like masters degrees should be free IDK

oh this is urethreal 💜

VPN keeps going in and out while I’m trying to work from home but I’m Mariah to it IDC

tehehehehe!

Friday ❤️

Hilary Duff you will always be hot and famous. And hot.

So there’s this mass casualty event ….

hav headache send help 🫠

Where is the single Hilary?

If you want me to speak Romanian so badly, adopt me! It’s not my fault I was adopted by a man from INDIANA.

The women at the Romanian consulate can all go to hell lmao