you think I'm gonna pay the price. I am that's how much it costs

got my ass beat for lickkng this dude's ice cream paint job

ill know we have the juice when Lord British, aka Richard Garriot, is here

my doctor gave me this pill sample that makes stuff on TV come out of the tv and talk to you, dude is pretty cool

mm hm www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2...

👀

*nervously* I wonder when my Natty Daddy will be home with his cigarettes, I hope it's soon

I've said some things in the past two weeks to health professionals about the new reality, at least four, that should have been countered with encouraging a more centered approach at minimum, that were all either agreed with or covertly agreed with by silence

I am so fucked up right now from three vaccines and five vials of blood removed, it's kind of wild

I had to see it so now you do too

Now if the rest of you would poney up to the Fairbanks community food bank we might be able to repay our debt to society if we also renounce our Nazi ties.

uh no bro why would we have a threesome on the golf course

the questionnaires to register for my physical really put together a good story. anyhow ill see you when they let me out again

drunk me: I should text my ex and eat an entire pizza high me: we are all made of the same stuff as stars, thus every human interaction is as significant as a collision between two galaxies, destructive, unstoppable and infinitely beautiful. I should eat this entire pizza

9/11 was an inside job to thwart the rising popularity of nü-metal.

lots of new folks here so i put together a starter brak

SPOCK: you are being.. highly illogical ME (WATCHING TV): ok he's got you there kirk KIRK: but mr spock, mankind did not, endeavor to, reach out and, touch the stars, armed only with, cold hard logic, but driven, by our passionate impulsive, illogical humanity ME: hey yeah fuck you spock

levitating off the floor in a prone position (I'm in a bed)

my son keeps begging for us to let him learn how to code but i keep refusing. no good can come of it

I think about this one naturally sometimes when things suck

I decided I'm gonna try stealing one of those caps for the thing they look down your throat with at the doctor's, wish me luck

[being chased by killer] ME: *frantically pressing crosswalk button*

The bathroom on that plane is about to be nasty af

never forget

one of the things i learned from social media was to piss off decks oddly but it's a pretty cool way to end a day

a thing I am bothered by is that I think i ate McDonald's just now from a subconscious goddamn burned in mental image of those pieces of shit but it was good fuck it

My latest discord post has received no reactions in 2 hours. I fear I am being diplomatically isolated.

Elon Musk just shared a meme by Nazi StoneToss on his Adrian Dittmann alt. You're not allowed to say StoneToss' real name Hans Kristian Graebener on Twitter or Musk permanently bans you.

me: i make a mean burrito my burrito: fuck you

Liberal Hassan Piker is Hassan Piker. There you go Democrat media. I found him.

reintroduction via selfie

me: I fought the urge to ride the broken TV down the stairs this morning and it feels like progress and maturity therapist: it feels like that would have been badass. it feels like you're a pussy

👍

Haven’t been to Memphis in a couple of years, but I’m still processing what I saw there.

I wouldn't and I was raised in there too

did you watch the mike tyson fight

22. In September 2017 a large group of men attended a Thai restaurant after their local Indian restaurant had closed down, asking for, 'the hottest thing on the menu'. This resulted in six deaths and nine hospitalisations

Why you should not trust LLMs as information search tools: an example ganked from mastodon. (Text in alt.)

what you have installed vs uninstalled says a lot about society

she let me hit bc my

it's still so funny and you know what I mean