I know it’s because Ripley does it in Aliens but there was about a 20 year period in movies where the protagonist had to say “game over BITCH” to whatever movie monster they were fighting and I just got to say that I don’t think an evil mummy would care that much, the mummy isn’t gonna go dammmmmmmn

Quentin Tarantino came on the heels of many great directors before him

The first generation of "lifestyle" streamers, while it had its own deeply problematic elements, at least represented an authenticity of people genuinely showing their lives to the world. Now lifestyle streamers are all internet goblins raised in caves imitating what they think humans do.

why breed dogs with jaws large enough to tear through Flesh, when you could breed dogs with minds large enougj to tear through Fallacy.....

Me: this is a pretty cool ring Gollum: my preciousssss Me: oh shit is that a Boondock Saints poster signed by both Boondock Saints? Gollum: my other precioussssss

there are dozens/hundreds of people present at a metal show, the vast majority of whom are fantastic & well-mannered, yet always im sandwiched between "guy holding 2 brim-full drinks at pit edge" and "guy who not only hates getting bumped, but also hasn't ever heard of it happening at any show ever"

Who needs coleslaw when you can just nut on a barbecue sandwich?

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

That's a fuckin good bird

Michigan is force feeding every Gramp in town with Golden Pours topped with Frosty White Suds. This is how it fucks us. Thread

You found a hole in the sky and said "that's a nice hole"

For years I thought the lyrics to Somebody Told Me By The Killers were "Never thought I'd let a Loup Garou in my moonlight" and was very confused about how a French werewolf fit into the rest of the song but just went with it anyway.

It's been too long, we need 9 more Psychosexual/Psycho Synner records. I miss getting new Devil Daddy shit to mock every couple of weeks

I bought a 50 foot yacht and i SANK it on purpose to see if the fish "respect" me. so far, the feedback is FOR SHIT. I will make these criminals pay.

weaponizing extreme misogyny by asking every girl in my contacts list if they are Wet Jeans Club or Dry Jeans Club

Hail The Void is going on hiatus Crying screaming throwing up

let him who hasn’t gotten so drunk he teleported to a Waffle House cast the first stone

Help, I am a 36 year old man that started saying lowkirkenuinely as a bit and now I can't stop.

It is in fact

This is easily one of my favorite pieces of conversational graffiti in the bathroom at work.

All men yearn for a longer pair of shorts. They may not admit it even to themselves but it's true.

Due to recent "issues" with"copyright infringement" and "The Beach Boys", i am being forced to change my dj name from Nightpain to "Johnny Lasagna". Please only refer to me as Johnny Lasagna from now on.

New invention idea. A grocery cart that sucks your duck or goes down on you while you're at the gorcery store. SOMEONE NEEDS TO INVENT THIS.

Come on @nazgurrl.bsky.social dress up all sexy for me, wear the outfit Sarah Connor wears to go try and kill Miles Dyson.

The Telecaster is the guitar of a coward. They are no good. If I continue to tele the truth Fender will have me shot in the neck like Charlie Kirk.

I don’t think we should go back to twitter levels of toxicity but there’s a lot of confidently stupid turbolib opinions on here that can only exist in a low predator environment.

"The Age of Men is over. The Time of the Orc has cum." - Gothmog

If he's going to get a national profile on the strength of a younger woman's campaign, I'm going to come out and say it: during his short-lived tenure as a math professor, Biss had an inappropriate romantic relationship with one of his undergraduate students. I was that student.

I had the honor of arranging this deranged medley

Eagerly awaiting the Democrat Defenders' explanation as to why the Dems *had* to vote to confirm the NSA director today, and also why I expect so much of them when they are so smol and also it is their birthday

She looked at me and said "I dunno, I'm too autistic to swallow"

I believe in mermaid pussy

Bruce Campbell is the finest man to grace a silver screen All the other actors just degrade his noble scenes The Oscars should award him for his wondrous career Hold a town parade for him with each movie premiere

the washington monument is so interesting and powerful because it shows how under that fancy wig he was just a normal pointy guy like you or me

Fuck, this sucks shit, ill never forget hanging out with him for a few weeks as a kid when he was rehearsing for the second stage production of Shane at Blue Jacket in Xenia Ohio. One of the most genuine and kind people I've ever had the pleasure of spending time with.

My "I'm the cum man" jacket is raising a lot of questions already answered by my jacket.

It's fetish night tonight at Mixwells Northside Presented by @secondcirclecincy.bsky.social come see us

This level of performative dick sucking is culty and it's creepy

Unsurprisingly way too many Dems actually bothered to show up for this shitshow. At least they don't have those deeply stupid little signs again so far.

"Vote blue no matter who" works better after your chosen candidate has been nominated, you freaks. "Vote Gavin Newsom Because He's The Once And Future King" exposes the whole manipulative game the Dems have played for years So, you know. Please keep doing it

Conservatives long for some real or imagined past, which means they can only look behind them, which is why they'll never take over culture the way they want to. It's also why their parties aren't as fun Sex, booze, lounge music: my latest for Slate

Why does JD Vance always have the face of a baby that is actively shifting itself?

This rules. Source: www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8xYY78p/

rolling back my car's odometer; for the pussy, not the money

She oopsie on my daisy till I yoo hoo

When I grow up I want to be the guy that carries that big light around at Nine Inch Nails shows and shines it directly in Trent Reznor's face while wiggling it around a little bit.

Passed a billboard for "Indiana's big truck attorney" and I'm deeply dissapointed i didn't get a good picture of it so I could edit Dez Fafara onto it and do a whole bit about an attorney that only represents people that have annoyed their friends and loved ones by playing Coal Chamber too much.