An Oxbridge man replying to Brittney telling him her latest struggles

[inventing sports] what if i try to put a ball somewhere and you try and stop me?

friend: Our basement just flooded, we have to cancel game night. me: *covering phone* that’s a bit extreme genie: Two wishes left.

Contains a nice treat in the middle.

Mortifying trying to promote work at this time of year, but unfortunately it's still necessary to make a living from drawing due to a significant delay in successfully wooing a wealthy Kerry farmer and being whisked off in his John Deere to a life of diamond-encrusted wellies

You’ve still got a week left for last minute gifts from my shop. BUT my last post day for mugs and tees (including kid’s tees) is tomorrow Tees www.infinitebacon.com/tshirts Mugs www.infinitebacon.com/mugs Everything else www.infinitebacon.com

Lmfao every AI defense piece is like "AYY I FUCKIN SUCK BRO HOPEFULLY THIS FUCKIN STEAL YOUR SHIT MACHINE WILL MAKE ME SUCK SLIGHTLY LESS OK"

Music Playing In Bar Could Stand To Be Louder, Worse https://theonion.com/music-playing-in-bar-could-stand-to-be-louder-worse-1819576412/

*slams fists on table* there was a two for one sale at the fist store

Always enjoy our parents' generation's disapproval at early Christmas decorating, solemnly sighing that they usen't put up a thing until 3 seconds before midnight on the 24th of December and all that they had was half an orange with a clove stuck in it and an angel made from potatoes and misery

SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going— SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti— SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE

@ciaraioch.bsky.social Hoot hoot, thanks Ciara! The packaging is nearly too good to open.

[first date] ME: so what do you do DATE: i'm a pharmacist ME: so farm assist like milking cows DATE: no like drugs ME: oh DATE: ME: how do u milk drugs

You’ll Be OK

Can't recommend @ciaraioch.bsky.social highly enough for beautiful art work and the little free treats are GORGEOUS. #speirgorm

First year selling my art at Christmas without the Other site, where most of my sales came from, as well as losing US orders to new tariffs, so it'll be a tough one - I put huge work into every order, so even if you can't buy, shares help get them in front of eyes. GRMA! www.ciaraioch.com/artprints

[5th day of christmas] SONIC THE HEDGEHOG: hey where did all my rings go

Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers https://theonion.com/trump-announces-5000-increase-in-all-numbers/

an advent calendar with each day providing a small piece of the mystical sword needed to fight Santa when he finally breaks in

I’m going to put a Burger King sign up at The Hague to lure Trump in

wife: I want you to rake the yard today me: consider it done [later] wife: I thought you were going to rake? me: I thought you were going to consider it done?

MOM: *pulls first rodeo out of my backpack* what the hell is this ME: it-it's not mine i swear

Probably not the best way to start the day but I am ranting on Instagram

A good thing about the napkin holder is it lets you take out your preferred number of napkins so long as you want either 800 napkins or a 3cm shard of one napkin.

I'm always surprised to open a can of evaporated milk and find anything there.

i’m laughing imagining one of those car carrier trucks going all the way across the country and then when they pull the cars off it, the truck is mad like “they could drive this whole time!?”

And now…the gallery. www.infinitebacon.com

TEACHER: what are the five senses ME: nickels

˖ ݁♬⋆.˚𝄞. once again I have ignored the first rule of posting ˖ ݁♬⋆.˚𝄞. don't post ˖ ݁♬⋆.˚𝄞. never post ˖ ݁♬⋆.˚𝄞. ˖ ݁♬⋆.˚𝄞. ˖ ݁♬⋆.˚𝄞. ⠀∧＿∧ （𓂂︲⩊︲𓂂)つ━♡・*。 ⊂　　 　ノ 　　　・゜+. 　しーＪ　　　°。+ *´¨) 　　　　　　　　　.· ´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨) 　　　　　　　　　　(¸.·´ (¸.·'* ♡

Whoa Black Betty

how did you hear about us?

People ask me to draw their avatars.

#3157 A helpful tutorial

Actually this is my tenth rodeo I just refuse to learn new things

NEW: Epstein survivors release the most powerful PSA I have ever seen. Make this go viral so every member of the House of Representatives sees it.

A patient just asked me why it's called local anesthesia and I told him they make it in the cafeteria.

The Naked Goon

Top Goon

Don't click on this link. It's obviously a phishing scam.

At the

me: don’t you dare scoot your butt on the carpet my dog: &

it’s called a double negative maybe you’ve never not heard of it

If you see this, post an album cover with a motor vehicle on it.

Charlesles: Please, call me Chuckles

youtube.com/watch?v=EiOi... An incredible 4-song set from #NovaTwins on the #NPR #TinyDesk concert. Amazing the fullness of sound they get from just bass, lead, vocals and drums. And admittedly a fuck-ton of pedals.

i know all the names of my arch enemy's brothers but i can't nemesis

there are two durans inside of me and they’re both hungry like the wolf

I'll never forget my dad's last words: "It's way past Halloween. Why's this caution tape still on the elevator?"

Just paid the aul' income tax for the year and consequently have about two beans left to rub together, so if you've been looking for a bit of Irish art now's a very good time to buy. It's this or train the crows to rob billionaires and I'm running out of cheese bribes