If I was on Gladiators, and they asked me at the start which ones I wanted to go against, I would be like "I want to go against Giant. On Unleash."

I realised too late that it was a typo and it was meant to say "baits", and now I have been asked to leave the facility.

Whenever I go into Salad Project and I see the menu divided into "Salads" and "Protein Boxes", there is a small part of me that goes "Ah yes, the two genders."

When I get an advert on Duolingo where the characters try to convince me to buy premium, I'm like "Oh so you CAN speak English when you're trying to sell me something and yet you CHOOSE to speak to me in Greek the rest of the time?" Seems a bit rude.

Happy Valentine's Day! We celebrated by spending the morning locked in a series of rooms.

Heated Rivalry spin off but it's about the only two straight figure skaters

I'm now back to running solid blocks without walking breaks, and I wanted to push myself run at a pace equivalent to a 30 minute 5k, but I didn't expect to hit my target *that* precisely.

'Brilliant Weston Wins Skeleton Gold' sounds like the title of a children's book about a pirate.

If this commentator has kids, they will be cringing.

They made the sport from Heated Rivalry into a real thing.

Just when you think these 2 can't get any more cursed... The Whale soundtrack 🤮🤮🤮

I only just learned that at this Olympics, every duo in the ice dancing had to do a 90s themed routine. It was actually part of the rules of the competition - hence team GB doing the spice girls megamix. Knowing that, I think an opportunity was missed.

Hunter S. Thompson's less successful sequel, Fear And Alienation At The Co-op.

Wiki's list of Choux pastry dishes needs to take a cold shower.

Shout out to Arrow's impossibility theorem, gotta be one of my favourite impossibility theorems.

If, as it's being suggested, yesterday was about Anas Sarwar supporting Wes Streeting in an attempted coup, does that make it, at least in part, a highland coup?

Oh sure, you lose the curling final and suddenly you're anti-ice.

Oh sure, you lose the curling final and suddenly you're anti-ice.

If, as it's being suggested, yesterday was about Anas Sarwar supporting Wes Streeting in an attempted coup, does that make it, at least in part, a highland coup?

Huge day for fans of things rapidly sliding downhill.

Waiting with bated breath for the Sarwar press conference

BEYNONCÉ. How did I miss that.

It's a weird consequence of him losing the title of Prince that he is now just known as Andrew. You say Andrew and everyone knows who you mean. The Beyoncé of alleged pedos.

What a time to be alive

How your email finds me

Why did they call it Squid Game: The Challenge when they could have called it Squib Game

"It feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!"

McSweeney resigning and saying he takes "full responsibility" for Mandelson's appointment, by extension suggesting that Kier had nothing to do with the decision of who would be US ambassador...

Biathlon but instead of it always being shooting, when you reach the station you spin a wheel and have to do a randomly selected summer olympic sport.

That's what happens if you try and get some extra fabric in your ski jumping suit.

I've never heard someone say VOLVO with such panic in their voice.

It's not often I feel patriotic but... youtu.be/G2bcWJt6s8U?...

Bless my mother, she's had 30 years of this. #HereAndNow

These moves never leave you ❤️ #HereAndNow

Just popping to the shops, anyone want anything?

The worst day for quiz writers since the Oxford English Dictionary website was paywalled.

Merlin are trialling no longer allowing autistic people to use disabled queues over the February half term, so it is incumbent on every autistic person to go to Alton Towers/Thorpe Park during that time and have the biggest, messiest, most disruptive meltdown possible in the regular lines.

Just saw an advert for the Superbowl that described it as "the night where anything could happen." I mean, I reckon there's gonna be some American football. Maybe some songs...

Just saw a food influencer say "I'm cooking recipes that were in the Epstein files." Time to turn the internet off and on again.

YOU! Are you looking for a new hobby? I recommend the wonderful world of quizzing! Quiz League of London are hosting a New Players night next Monday in London, which will introduce you to the format, and most importantly, the fun! It's a lovely community, and a lovely way to spend an evening

If Andrew wants to live at his majesty's pleasure, I think I have a better solution.

The hold this phrase still has on my vocabulary

If you're 30+ this counts as a jumpscare.

Catching up on the masked singer, I feel like this is a very unfair clue, it could apply to almost any celebrity.

The A is in the wrong place???

Another run done

The last frame of part one of a Doctor Who 2-parter before the theme music kicks in: www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

❤️

My mum texting me about The Chase:

My mum texting me about The Chase: