Mexico v South Africa will be the first FIFA sanctioned game of football played on a pyramid, when the two sides kick off on top of the Pyramid of the Sun at Teotihuacan. Goals will be either side, with players scrambling and tumbling up and down the mighty stone steps.

Everybody needs two or three friends

“i bought this before he went crazy” sticker on a Ford

Counterpoint: This is how everyone wears sunglasses.

‘Gut microbiome’ is German for “good microbiome”

In the original of Three Lions from 1996, they sing "30 years of hurt". Why would they have been hurting in 1966 the day after winning the World Cup? Likewise, 1967; still champions. 1968; still the current holders etc. You get the idea. Surely they wouldn't hurt until 1970. 26 years of hurt.

i begin every job resumé with ‘by the time you read this i’ll be dead’

"would you like to remember this device for 30 days" would you like to suck my fucking dick you piece of fucking shit

I get hydrated Then dehydrate again

I am serious. Do not give them your name or where you live. Can I get you something to drink? Wine is 120. Snacks are 5.

"Wake up, Nanna, the Queen's on in five minutes"

Last Living Millennial Dies

Wrote this chiming, double-stop guitar line with a melody very strongly suggesting itself to by subconscious, have for months been thinking “goddammit what Red Hot Chili Peppers song is this ripping off?” and today discovered it is “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5

‘This is a song called “The Longest Train I Ever Saw”, and it’s about the longest train I ever saw’

Was at an open-mic tonight and for the first time since hearing it thirty-odd years ago I finally wrapped my head around/was cognisant of the line/the lyric “tarp has sprung a leak”

WHEN I[*unintelligible*] TEXARKANA, WHERE’S THAT COUNTY LINE

Get the fucken pine marten on there

Barn owl is a fake ass owl smh

they've discovered another brontë - the first new brontë since the discovery of branwell in 1936. but this is particularly exciting since literary critics were pretty sure that additional brontës were impossible - all the rooms had been mapped in haworth parsonage, there was simply no space

The far-right are obfuscating the genuinely heinous policing that led to a man dying by inventing some opportunistic bullshit about him being arrested and disbelieved *because* he was white, so we're not going to talk about how that kind of condescension and disregard are standard cop behaviour.

Hi I think it is actually bad that the Attorney General keeps coming out saying sentences should be reviewed and made harsher each time a case gains media attention and there's a public outcry.

Woke up this morning with Jimmie Rodger’s Blue Yodel No. 1 already in my head

Wearing a hoodie from “the Gap” (American clothing brand)

On my “things to compare to Quaker decision making” bingo card I didn’t have “the national conference of the University and College Union” so I’m going to proceed as though people are talking somewhat orthogonally/at one remove/etc., etc., about all this

Not now, the Great Bear and Pleiades

This was really great btw (1 in the below list was “listen to Texas Is The Reason”, fwiw)

hey man do you mind if i come round your house and optimally arrange 17 identical boxes

Captain, my Captain 🫡

Haha this is a great question. Absolutely paralysing

pigeon getting the ick when her suitor flaps away to scran some stale bread

2008 Gmail promotional soap

I feel like there's nothing I can say that would not seem smug or self-hating so I'll just deliver a vague observation: not every opinion needs to be expressed. nor does it need to be...so loud

laughing imagining that the Netherlands press treat this specific wolf the same way our press treat Rachel Reeves

Nancy 5/30/26

Me waking up in 2003

Finally a petard to call my own. Somebody is about to get hoisted. Not me, obviously

when arsenal win it's because zohran mamdani supports them and when arsenal lose it's because kier starmer supports them, know the rules

Pondering

This is incredible

Miserable social media post go👉

Pointing to a girls airpods on the train and mouthing "Hoobastank?"

tanks on the Greens’ lawn

You know I was sure I had looked up the state pension triple lock before, and thought “well, fair enough”, but I have just looked again and even if wages and prices don’t change it’s guaranteed to rise by 2.5% a year?? Wtf? Like someone reaching pension age later would just get higher value pension

Football trouble or Early Modern intrigue?

I know it's been months but I need to speak my truth: I don't think Lily Allen understands what 4Chan is

didn't ask

Tomorrow is Miles Davis’ 100th but everyone will be talking about Sonny Rollins Ghost of Miles: Well ain’t that a motherfucker

Going on placement to the University of Manchester to train for my first graduate job (University tutor)

If young people these days want to be able to afford the repayments on an avocado on toast they need to stop frivolously spending so much money on salted gruel