Drove your car into the lake

The cybertruck is a massive men's rights win. Finally a car that she won't take in the divorce.

My aunt's new boyfriend, a Leeds fan, took me to see them play at Highfield Road when I was maybe 8 or 9. A whole section of new seating was ripped out and thrown onto the pitch and after the match we ended up pinned against a wall by police horses as they shielded us from fans throwing bottles. 🎈😆🎈

83yo Paul McCartney with *significantly* more pyro than any of us expected.

That wasn't very data driven of you, bro

Andrew is a sort of non-prince now, a… well, I’m sure there’s some sort of portmanteau word that would describe him well.

Gordon ramsey: Excuse me darling, what’s going on in there LLM architect: the uhh model’s outputs lie on a high-dimensional ellipse Gordon: on a high-dimensional ellipse? Architect: correct, a high-dimensional ellipse Gordon: fuck me. Ok thank you darling

“Every fan has a sacred right to fly thousands of miles across the world and commit many hate crimes and intimidate local populations!”

oh you’re a nihilist? name zero things that matter

Making a side cut into the USA so when it falls it's away from Canada

Microsoft hates computers AND everyone who uses them, whereas Apple only hates computers, and Linux only hates the people who use them. In this essay I will

oh this slaps actually

If you found out someone you were dating exclusively was using ChatGPT for erotic content would you consider it cheating

petition to send contestants on The Traitors to unconscious bias training

Have decided my new song needs a “doom interlude”

Well I sure hope someone hasn’t simply pinched my bike off of the carriage at the other end of this train where I have left it unattended for the duration of this journey🤞

It is quite ridiculous that when the whole premise of the show is that history can be changed, the fans are so mad keen on consistent lore and canon

guy who reports every teams meeting invite as a phishing attempt

Performatively reading in the cafe, but wearing white gloves so I'm still venerating the Book As Object, with a t-shirt saying "I know archivists don't wear gloves" so people know the gloves are performative.

No it doesn't.

One of my least fav fallacies is the one where people think you can have evidence of someone's inner feelings by changing out the nouns in their sentence for other ones. I have no idea why this is so popular considering nouns are how we know what someone is writing or talking about

LGBTQIA+ is rebranding as LGBTQIA MAX

Ever want to see a correct opinion? 👇

Hey, this is bullshit!

explains a lot tbh

Just got a letter from the local hospital with quite the diagnosis

Insane for this to be the first image on my feed when I am literally in the position depicted (i.e., on the floor phone held aloft)

Alcohol is mostly water

Dammit remembered what the fourth thing I needed to get from the shops was

since we're talking about The Other Place, one now pointless gripe I still have is that actually it could have remained a fair bit more pleasant and usable and useful if more people just used the non-algorithmic timeline and I'll never understand why they didn't just do it

My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking? Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but

hehe yeh

I dreamed I saw St. Augustine alive as you or me Says I, “But St., you’re ten years dead”. “I never died”, says he [endless harmonicaring]

Listening to Against Me! for, the first time in my life

… and then the agent says, “wow that’s quite an act, but what do you call it?”

bet everyone who said my slutty László Krasznahorkai Halloween costume wouldn't be relevant this year is feeling pretty stupid right about now

yes my horse’s name is “grab an officer’s service weapon” and yes i do intend to enter him into the kentucky derby

And we go live to the Conservative Party conference

L-R: Dave Vanian (vocals), Captain Sensible (guitarist)

taylor, girl, you're in danger

Describe your Bluesky account in a single image

Wild that my next-door neighbour coughing like every 90 seconds can also totally destroy the quality of my sleep. I feel that we should not have that degree of connection.

Pretty cool to realise, no matter how trash how awkward how just.. ugh your song you’ve wrote for you band is, you always have ‘Misty Mountain Hop’ by Led Zeppelin to fall back upon & rely on

[me in a public place where Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons is playing] “Look I’m not saying I’m Frankie Valli or anything”

He’s being fed prompts that he half-parses (or less- or better-) that he then riffs on.

Oh he’s like *alzheimers* Alzheimers. He’s . just living moment-to-moment 😒

The nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me is the crudely-drawn fox cartoon in the menu at Trof (Deaf Institute) c.2010 with the speech bubble that said “by the way your hair looks fine”

Is this a fancy term for minding someone’s cat while they’re on an overseas work trip?

It's weird how nobody ever talks about the fact that we all hear incredibly loud discordant high-tempo circus music in our heads at all times