What a sick, stressful week. Good thing these guys never pull anything during the weekend

More often than not, when I read “love them or hate them,” I don’t care about them at all.

Nice mitre you got there, Padre. Be a shame if something happened to it newrepublic.com/post/208820/...

Everything’s weird and off and scary but we still have music goodnight

Cat won’t let me write so what are you gonna do?

They postponed armageddon until after Tax Day, huh

You Guys, 9News in Colorado GETS IT

Beware of the “I almost blew up the world but didn’t so I’m a hero” rhetoric you’re gonna hear for the next few days-weeks-months-years

Tough getting anything d

Today might be an excellent day to tell the people and animals in your life you love them.

Thinking of you, people who will chip a tooth today while eating those Marshmallow Peeps you opened yesterday

Is this thing on? LOL How’s everybunny doing?

Anyone else here LOVING allergies?

Wishing the goodest Friday to all who celebrate

I really dislike even knowing of Kid Rock’s existence let alone his being in the news wayyyyyyy too much.

The most outlandish prank anyone could play on April Fools’ Day is convincing oneself everything is normal

Traveled to numerous points in the US this past week, but the best part of the journey really is returning to magnificent Colorado!

I hope someone recovers the valuable Renoirs and KitKats soon!

Big Ears Update Bartender: What’s the best thing you’ve seen so far? Me: There’s a band named Harriet Tubman. They were fantastic! Bartender: THE Harriet Tubman? Me: Uh, sure. Bartender: I didn’t know she sang.

Just spotted a (used?) condom on the street. That’s, like, good luck, right?

I’m in Knoxville, TN this weekend if anyone wants me to autograph their money

3/26/26: The Day I Went Cashless

Nothing like walking out of the Detroit airport terminal and into the bracing, saturated cold after spending the winter summering in Denver

Just overheard at the airport: (Woman) “Bret Scouts” (Man) “Bret Sutter” So close!

Happy 95th to the guy who recorded one of my all time favorite albums: William Shatner!

Starting to think maybe he isn’t as classy as his tacky, gold-plated trash heaps would have us believe

March Madness? Aren’t things mad enough already? Enjoy my jokes here! Don’t cost nothin’!

It’s hotter than Denver in March in Denver right now

I think you’re all the Banksiest

I’ve got the Oscar Fever Hope you’ve got it too Pour me some bubbly Now It’s all you gotta do It’s Christmas for Tinseltown The Academy Awards Pop up some popcorn Welcome aboard!

The most joyous of 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038 ♾️ Days to you!

Brewski’s Millions

There are multiple issues that are more pressing…but this is outlandish:

There’s a satellite crashing to Earth today - who will be the lucky recipient of space junk?

Anyone else excited about being discombobulated this coming week?

Have you seen the price of gasoline? I’m gonna have to find something more budget-friendly to huff

Don’t forget to STICK IT TO THE MAN and set your clocks back two hours tonight

Happy 307 Day, to all who celebrate Wyoming, parts of which are beautiful and weird. I have nice memories of living there.

Hey, Denver: hope you enjoyed Winter Jr.

Look, I don’t know how much of a difference it’s really going to make. For now, I’m just basking in the moment.

Everyday is Valentine’s Day when you hold love in your heart for otters

The cat is looking at me in a judgmental fashion - just like he has for the past 2000 consecutive days

Stupid moon is so boring tonight

You have to admit, no one ever suspected “Y.M.C.A.” would serve as the official soundtrack to Armageddon

Don’t forget to smash your clocks as a sacrifice to the Gods of the Blood Worm Moon solar eclipse tonight

It’s time once again for me to narrate Colorado for awhile - KBCO.com

Today’s a good day to support @theguardian.com and @us.theguardian.com if you care to be informed

What people don’t tell you about getting a cat is it’s like having a baby who can essentially fly

R.I.P. everyone you admire, I guess, lately