Trump Take Borger

[email protected] and I heard tell of so much of this stuff when we were reporting this story about the Epoch Times/Shen Yun/Falun Gong. They all live on a compound and are encouraged to marry elders to stay in the country. Their existence is shocking. www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-ne...

After Max goes back to HBO Max, it goes back to being HBO, then Home Box Office, then Sterling Cable Network, then Manhattan Cable, as the grass grows back into the ground and we all marvel at Video Jukebox, George Carlin Specials and G-String Divas

Something IS happening.

The Democratic Party was more receptive to the fascist daughter of a war criminal than the progressive survivor of a school shooting. Not only that, but they're proud of it. It's the behavior that cost them an election and they're still smugly saying "daddy knows best, kitten" to their voters.

Buttger Turdman

it's not Nathan Fielder's fault that he is a Batman villain in a world without a Batman

disturbed sound of silence is the #1 song played at the funerals of guys who were shot and killed by police during domestic violence disputes

i am not a lawyer but when you're being detained by cops, the best course of action is to repeat the phrase "Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me"

i don’t care if he is ruining peoples lives he is the greatest artist of our time and should be allowed to do whatever must be done

Convincing Robert F. Kennedy Jr. that the blue fluid from bus toilets is a wave-disrupting proton immunity elixir. He signs up for a $1200 monthly subscription for a two-ounce vial. "You have to rub it on your gums," I tell him. "Of course," he answers. It sounds like sneakers in a running dryer.

*Ethan & Hila Klein laughing maniacally about the Hasan CBP situation while their children roll around in doggie diarrhea*

Mainstream media needs to stop pointing out what "RFK Jr. gets right," because there are many, many trained public health officials who get the same things right without all the batshit crazy eugenics and woo.

I don't know how much longer a system where congress is so transparently bought and paid for that they dont even bother pretending to do anything for their constituents can continue to go on. It's so fucking embarrassing to live in a country that allows these people to safely walk around in public.

As an avid NYT reader I have a hard time seeing how this is honestly corrupt since no one’s wearing a Hamburgler costume and carrying a comically large bag labeled “BRIBES”

nathan fielder (narrating): to truly feel the responsibility of airline captains, i needed to pilot the most important plane – air force one. but i couldn’t get the security clearance needed. so i went undercover as a qatari official and convinced the president i was gifting him a luxury boeing 747

an even simpler method:

Will Stancil asked me for a urine sample because he was thirsty

i emailed your boss screenshots of you dunking on my parasocial best friend’s absolute dogshit takes about star wars please respond

Dems know whats important: control through violence and surveillance is the future of capitalism.

will stancil shot and ate our dog

“Im worried about the government’s ability to not waste my tax dollars” i tweet out as im drunk driving in my 2025 Ford F-350 Platinum SuperDuty that i pay $8k/month for

You could probably make a mint doing an “Are You Afraid of the Dark” movie by getting Matt Berry as Dr. Vink

Chicago is great

there’s no coherency in anything rightwingers believe, israel and japan are two of the most racist countries in the world and leftists are always correctly saying that they are

Did you ever pay back your PPP loan?

Not understanding why people are still masking when COVID is still very much killing people and the government is disincentivizing and moving to restrict and take away vaccines is… not very smart

meet my lovely daughters. rosemary is my eldest. our beloved middle child, sage. and the light of our lives, little tony cachere's.

*slaps the roof of my party's big tent* this bad boy can fit so many fascists and billionaires in it

The “Charlie Brown Had Hoes” of international trade discourse

Hey aren’t you that weird pervert freak who wants to fuck Girl Scouts?

Ezra giving Ethan some competition in the “Worst Klein” competition

Tie between the naked fight in Borat and the Hot Dog Man reveal in ITYSL

Same thing happened at a local ice cream place with a full parking lot in my town

Please don't put in the newspaper that 28 children laughed at me

Republicans are crooks and thieves

Put it in the Louvre

I’d rather

Listened to some MAGA CHUD on AM radio trying to spin the US/UK “trade deal” by saying how now without the EU the UK is free to buy beef & produce that’s across the ocean and made under poor quality control. Sounds like a huge win.

“HAVE YOU EATEN YOUR HAMBORGER YET?!”

anytime a dork tells you the usps needs to be profitable ask them how profitable sewers are

Look. I get it. Trump was a bad president. But at least he loved America and cared about his family. He didn't betray humanity in the Robot Wars and he didn't issue the Final Decree On Abolishing Human Rights. He certainly didn't have Darth Abominable as his VP. I'm just saying give him credit.

When people tell me as a bearded millennial man that I can’t express every social, political, and cultural opinion I’ve ever had through Simpsons screengrabs and to instead look at books and great works of art

someone smart: the attack on PBS by the trump administration is part of their attempt at the wholesale destruction of anything that could be considered a public good or benefit me: pee b s