select-a-size is good

brisket (65℃ for 48 hours), coleslaw, roast kipfler potatoes

Hungriest Orphan 2026 Winner Under Fire After Photo Surfaces of Him Eating Lunch with His Parents

going back in time to prevent various tragedies and being confronted with the fact that i have just as little agency to effect change as i do now

bro do you wanna come over and use inductive reasoning to try and determine the rules of winter olympics sports we’ve never seen before

Honestly I’d have been more surprised if you hadn’t

anyone else’s following feed so fucked right now that you get two hours of posts, then a few posts from 13 days ago, then it falls back to the discover feed where all the posts fucking suck?

Hey Music Fans: still glad Spotify stopped running those ICE ads? 🤔

Wuma Nian, eight mountain scholar: a man who chases two rabbits catches neither disciple: yoo, that shit is 10,000 lanterns illuminating heaven. i bet one day that will be an ancient chinese proverb Wuma Nian: we just call them ancient proverbs

GUY WHO JUST REALLY LIKES GEARS: I'm more of a Steamconformist. I'm a normal, regular guy obsessed with gears and copper stuff.

forgive the intrusion my lady, i did not intend to offend your eye for i am a vile and loathsome creature, and i crawled in here to die

the traditional Christmas “just kind of looking at a box and wrapping paper for a few solid minutes having completely forgotten how to wrap or know out how much paper it takes to wrap stuff and eventually inventing geometry from first principles”

christmas plate (prime rib, pork rack, potato, focaccia, onion, carrot, green beans, sage gravy)

restocked the fridge drawer ahead of the holidays, it's the end of 2025

sending the worst person you know jpeg to my son when he texts me he wants a hamster for christmas

what did @jessefarrar.com get suspended for?

Jeremy Renner has been hit by another snowplow - this time, a metaphorical one as he faces allegations of racist sexual harassment

cat is radioactive

[doing muffled woody Allen voice while sucking my own dick] it tastes terrible. And such small portions

New therapist asked me in our first appointment what I'd like to work on. I said, "Uhh how about... my own tropical private island?? LOL!!!!!! 🤣!!!!!!" But anyway it was suicidal ideation.

That's mighty interesting, squirt. Now let me tell you a better story my buddy Murray Cassatt told me, over a chef's table tasting menu

Just an incredible image and thank you to whoever assembled it. #Facts #Hollyweird #NowThatsCrazy

seeing Jimeoin on the Riyadh Comedy Festival lineup made me laugh for some reason

AI GUY: I listen to an AI podcast that gives me tips on which lottery numbers are best to pick. I listen at 2x speed so I can listen to twice as many episodes. Me: Disgusting. I listen to podcasts about which lottery numbers are best to pick made by actual people. And I listen at 0.25 speed

(responding to pause in spouse's story without having listened) Oh yeah babe, that person is (calculating educated guess) such a fucking prick. You should really (calculating, calculating, calculating educated guess) kill them at work.

it was an honor to do some voice acting and animation for this funny ass vid

Finally getting around to opening the mail intended for a previous tenant. Really in love with the idea of someone who finally flips the calendar to a new page and is pleasantly stimulated by a completely new picture of a violin.

gyudon

I NEVER sit with my back to a door, I ALWAYS open carry when walking my dog off leash, I ONLY wear jorts that fall below the knee, and I WILL marry your sister for just over six months. Oh and our registry has a deepfake nude poster of Jessica Alba from Sin City. If you haven't bought anything yet.

ANNOUNCEMENT: I have created a zine. It’s called JOIN THE NUMBSKULL CLUB. It’s got stories and bits and lists and jokes and poems and art. It comes with a free bonus sticker. You can buy it at numbskull.club

Bluesky is a place for making friends

Corporate incels telling on themselves today. Imagine not taking your work-wife to a Coldplay concert. Imagine not respecting C-Suite women.

hey great theorem man, I'll definitely factor it into my calculations *gives my buddies a No Way In Hell Am I Ever Factoring That Theorem Into My Calculations look*

times are tough for the car food reviewers but i think this idea has legs youtube.com/shorts/klYyw...

page from a 2020 zine i found while looking for something else

we love our helpful little AI robot (✧ω✧) ! but be careful: it's very sexist (；д；) it will make our jobs easier (♥ε♥) make sure to not listen to it when it only tells you to hire men!

your 20s are about finding yourself. your 30s are about doing coke a little less. your 40s are finally finding a good barber. your 50s are about taking a surf lesson. your 60s & 70s are talking about how old you are in womens mentions on bluesky. And your 80s are about making Gladiator 2.

tfw jawbroken is almost caught up to the present >>>

Fuck This. I've never done anything bad in the world

my strategy to help the catholic church

Kids dumping popcorn on the floor during Minecraft might literally be the most important act of anticapitalist resistance happening right now but sure let’s concern troll about labor aristocrat theater employees who make money from Hollywood exploitation.

i'm sure i have no idea what they're talking about 👼

i think they got bug deal’s account for actionable-style posts

Don't you think bringing back the World's Fair would settle much of the current economic turmoil? World's Fairs in different American cities? Technologies of the future! World's Fair enthusiasts will try these lines on you today in an attempt to capitalize on the turbulent market open. Walk away.

writing headlines like this about ancient history is really funny

@murderxbryan.bsky.social looks like your twitch account just got banned again