jawbroken
@jawbroken.bsky.social
📤 1390
📥 182
📝 1123
anyone else’s following feed so fucked right now that you get two hours of posts, then a few posts from 13 days ago, then it falls back to the discover feed where all the posts fucking suck?
21 days ago
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jawbroken
JF
26 days ago
Hey Music Fans: still glad Spotify stopped running those ICE ads? 🤔
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jawbroken
potion of
27 days ago
Wuma Nian, eight mountain scholar: a man who chases two rabbits catches neither disciple: yoo, that shit is 10,000 lanterns illuminating heaven. i bet one day that will be an ancient chinese proverb Wuma Nian: we just call them ancient proverbs
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nathan
29 days ago
GUY WHO JUST REALLY LIKES GEARS: I'm more of a Steamconformist. I'm a normal, regular guy obsessed with gears and copper stuff.
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coward
about 1 month ago
forgive the intrusion my lady, i did not intend to offend your eye for i am a vile and loathsome creature, and i crawled in here to die
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patrick
about 2 months ago
the traditional Christmas “just kind of looking at a box and wrapping paper for a few solid minutes having completely forgotten how to wrap or know out how much paper it takes to wrap stuff and eventually inventing geometry from first principles”
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christmas plate (prime rib, pork rack, potato, focaccia, onion, carrot, green beans, sage gravy)
about 2 months ago
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jawbroken
On My Own Journey.
2 months ago
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jawbroken
coward
2 months ago
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restocked the fridge drawer ahead of the holidays, it's the end of 2025
2 months ago
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puffin
3 months ago
sending the worst person you know jpeg to my son when he texts me he wants a hamster for christmas
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what did
@jessefarrar.com
get suspended for?
3 months ago
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jawbroken
tinybaby
3 months ago
Jeremy Renner has been hit by another snowplow - this time, a metaphorical one as he faces allegations of racist sexual harassment
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jawbroken
wargen
over 2 years ago
(crouching in front of a dog tied up outside a coffee shop) who are they to restrain you? what right do they have? what laws have you broken? can the jailor ever truly know a prisoner's heart? (releasing the dog and it runs directly into traffic) ah divine judgment, fickle fate
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cat is radioactive
loading . . .
4 months ago
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jawbroken
patrick
over 2 years ago
[doing muffled woody Allen voice while sucking my own dick] it tastes terrible. And such small portions
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jawbroken
Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4 months ago
New therapist asked me in our first appointment what I'd like to work on. I said, "Uhh how about... my own tropical private island?? LOL!!!!!! 🤣!!!!!!" But anyway it was suicidal ideation.
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jawbroken
Joe 9️⃣🕘
4 months ago
That's mighty interesting, squirt. Now let me tell you a better story my buddy Murray Cassatt told me, over a chef's table tasting menu
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jawbroken
Nick Taylor
5 months ago
Just an incredible image and thank you to whoever assembled it.
#Facts
#Hollyweird
#NowThatsCrazy
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seeing Jimeoin on the Riyadh Comedy Festival lineup made me laugh for some reason
4 months ago
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jawbroken
g0m
5 months ago
AI GUY: I listen to an AI podcast that gives me tips on which lottery numbers are best to pick. I listen at 2x speed so I can listen to twice as many episodes. Me: Disgusting. I listen to podcasts about which lottery numbers are best to pick made by actual people. And I listen at 0.25 speed
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jawbroken
winter
5 months ago
My review of Gremlins 2: The New Batch on Letterboxd
boxd.it/aTXRF5
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jawbroken
Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
6 months ago
(responding to pause in spouse's story without having listened) Oh yeah babe, that person is (calculating educated guess) such a fucking prick. You should really (calculating, calculating, calculating educated guess) kill them at work.
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jawbroken
Carter Amelia Davis
6 months ago
it was an honor to do some voice acting and animation for this funny ass vid
add a skeleton here at some point
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jawbroken
bloviated
6 months ago
Finally getting around to opening the mail intended for a previous tenant. Really in love with the idea of someone who finally flips the calendar to a new page and is pleasantly stimulated by a completely new picture of a violin.
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gyudon
6 months ago
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jawbroken
Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
6 months ago
I NEVER sit with my back to a door, I ALWAYS open carry when walking my dog off leash, I ONLY wear jorts that fall below the knee, and I WILL marry your sister for just over six months. Oh and our registry has a deepfake nude poster of Jessica Alba from Sin City. If you haven't bought anything yet.
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patrick
7 months ago
ANNOUNCEMENT: I have created a zine. It’s called JOIN THE NUMBSKULL CLUB. It’s got stories and bits and lists and jokes and poems and art. It comes with a free bonus sticker. You can buy it at
numbskull.club
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jawbroken
Mike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
7 months ago
Bluesky is a place for making friends
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jawbroken
patrick
7 months ago
Corporate incels telling on themselves today. Imagine not taking your work-wife to a Coldplay concert. Imagine not respecting C-Suite women.
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jawbroken
cakemittens
7 months ago
hey great theorem man, I'll definitely factor it into my calculations *gives my buddies a No Way In Hell Am I Ever Factoring That Theorem Into My Calculations look*
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jawbroken
jeb haus
8 months ago
times are tough for the car food reviewers but i think this idea has legs
youtube.com/shorts/klYyw...
loading . . .
GRAND THEFT FOOD REVIEW Ep1 SELENA GOMEZ OREO
YouTube video by jeb haus (dr_jeb)
https://youtube.com/shorts/klYyw0Uj8OQ?feature=share
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jawbroken
g0m
8 months ago
page from a 2020 zine i found while looking for something else
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jawbroken
jeb haus
8 months ago
we love our helpful little AI robot (✧ω✧) ! but be careful: it's very sexist (;д;) it will make our jobs easier (♥ε♥) make sure to not listen to it when it only tells you to hire men!
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jawbroken
puffin
9 months ago
your 20s are about finding yourself. your 30s are about doing coke a little less. your 40s are finally finding a good barber. your 50s are about taking a surf lesson. your 60s & 70s are talking about how old you are in womens mentions on bluesky. And your 80s are about making Gladiator 2.
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jawbroken
heck's maniac
10 months ago
tfw jawbroken is almost caught up to the present >>>
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jawbroken
g0m
10 months ago
Fuck This. I've never done anything bad in the world
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jawbroken
coward
10 months ago
my strategy to help the catholic church
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patrick
10 months ago
Kids dumping popcorn on the floor during Minecraft might literally be the most important act of anticapitalist resistance happening right now but sure let’s concern troll about labor aristocrat theater employees who make money from Hollywood exploitation.
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jawbroken
10 months ago
i'm sure i have no idea what they're talking about 👼
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i think they got bug deal’s account for actionable-style posts
10 months ago
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jawbroken
dave
10 months ago
Don't you think bringing back the World's Fair would settle much of the current economic turmoil? World's Fairs in different American cities? Technologies of the future! World's Fair enthusiasts will try these lines on you today in an attempt to capitalize on the turbulent market open. Walk away.
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writing headlines like this about ancient history is really funny
10 months ago
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@murderxbryan.bsky.social
looks like your twitch account just got banned again
10 months ago
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stumbled into a truly evil feature on here
11 months ago
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jawbroken
patrick
11 months ago
I’ll gladly pay you the next twelve tuesdays for a hamburger today.
add a skeleton here at some point
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jawbroken
Crab Man
11 months ago
I pay a personal trainer to build me a weekly personalized workout and nutrition plan just so that I can see the look on their face when I tell them every week that I did none of the workouts and ate McDonald's every day. There's nothing quite like it.
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lacto-fermented hot sauce, with the jalapeños i grew this summer, pineapple, onion, 2% salt. if you like seeing puffy vacuum bags you're in for a treat
11 months ago
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seeking in videos not working on here is a bigger issue now that they can be 3 minutes long
11 months ago
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knowing that there’s a real app for bluesky coming in a few months makes using this piece of shit even more galling
11 months ago
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