Alright that's enough media analysis

Soldier, let's check the visual calibration on that neck unit. Look at the four indicators in the order tha- Good jo- No, that's the wron- Good job. Only two more indi- You're getting ahead of yourself sol- Not tha- I used to think I loved y- Good job. One left. Let's just move on, we're done here.

I never got tired of Smoove B bylines theonion.com/bring-it-on-...

I resent the allure of nostalgia, I think it's kind of a weird, self-imposed arrested development for people to be too attached to media from their childhood. It feels spiritually damaging. But holy shit I'm having a bad day and just threw on Goldeneye and goddamn I feel like me again.

I think everyone understands conceptually how social media creates weird, hyper niche echo chambers, but I still see people saying things like "It's crazy that with everything going on rn, we're still busy arguing about Obama's tan suit??" Like, no man, that's just you. Put your phone down.

(Janie's Gotta Gun cadence) Taylor Frankie Paul

Love when a woman asks whether a famous actress is good looking, such a delight. I feel the same way uncles do when the neph asks "How good was Tracy McGrady?", I spin my chair around whenever my friend asks "Do you think Sandra Bullock is pretty?" Little do I know this is a test and I'm blowing it.

I switched to YouTube music and there are some gems on here that I KNOW would make a Spotify user seeth

It's such a wanky take to say things like "I hate when people say 'pass away' in order to soften the blow of someone's death." Yeah sorry that someone didn't feel like expressing the full weight of death's inescapable grasp when their coworker asked "So what did you do this weekend."

I could really go for somebody getting mad at me over something that can be easily refuted. A nice, easy win. I'll even set them up something that misleads them as to my intent. "I would never own a book collection, but you do you." ... "I guess I just prefer to loan books from the library?"

The news does hit a bit different when these are the ads that CNN is serving you.

Pulled a really fun article in the WikiGacha game

Starting to sympathize with narcissists

Copywriters: Idk we need something to fill this space in the voiceover and hit a couple brand values. Nbd no one will pay attention to this part. Me under my breath 18,000 times a day: Because the voice of luxury commands what you deserve. Because the voice of luxury commands what you deserve? Bec

Today I saw somebody say that One Battle After Another sucked because it tried to force "politics". Someone in the replies defended the movie by saying only an idiot would think that there was anything political about it.

Enter the Wu-Tang doesn't get enough plaudits for having ~9 unique creative voices with wildly divergent styles and making a musically cohesive album where they all roughly share the spotlight. Makes sense that they didn't pull it off on the followup, it's a miracle that they pulled it off once.

Just heard the call of a Mourning Dove and thought I was getting a Teams Call. Really discouraging. The spirit suffers under these cages we build.

Moon battle. You fight by moon rules.

"One Battle After Another was a good movie, however it was really weak on depicting a genuinely revolutionary ideological..." Too late, you've already been depicted as the pedantic nerd on the phone who doesn't fuck.

Super Mario Bros world 1-2 melody: "Pissing in the toilet"

I know y'all loved One Battle After Another, but I honestly have no time for that sort of Hollywoodized fake revolutionary ethos, but I guess liberals these days are desperate fo-... [I'm met by the smile of a beautiful woman for the first time in years] ..it was fine. Pretty good all things said.

Adrien Brody is the Josef Fares of the Oscars, but we needed to meet Josef Fares before we knew that. Josef Fares is the guy who made It Takes Two. The Game Awards guy. You remember.

Bean "Garbanzo"

I often fantasize about completing a screenplay on the life of some historical figure, and my current fascination is the Byzantine Empress Theodora, who is now considered a Saint by certain churches but who at the time had this written about her (probably apocryphally).

I told my kids (ages 8 and 10) that Katy Perry went to space, and that she has a new single called Woman's World. My youngest one said "Maybe she should think about making SPACE for new, upcoming female voices in pop music." I think that about says it all.

So, I've been thinking it over and I've finally realized my thoughts about this: If Katy Perry wants to be an astronaut so bad, maybe she should have considered going to space back when she was still had STAR power.

Judging the political character of art by its means of production completey misses the point of what art is. To say a film made under high capital investment must be a more reactionary piece of art than an indie book is to say that in one way, Starship Troopers the book was actually less reactionary

In highschool we had a pair of German exchange students come to our school, and the outfit that one of them chose to wear on their first day of American school was this T-shirt. And I think that tells you something but I'll never figure out what.

Power company on hour 14 of a power outage "We wanted to let you know that there was WIND. And not just any wind, oh no. This wind MAY have cause disruptions to the power grid 😱. But good news, our crews are bossing their way through this 💪. You're basically fine as far as we're concerned."

Me in 2026: Jesus, the internet is so hostile. I can't believe how bad things have gotten. The way people talk about strangers is so insane, how do you even reach these people. Me in 2011: I'm gonna kill this Rebecca Black bitch

to r/micropenis—Just Saw An Edward (guy with normal penis size) Fuck Up Trying To Flatten A Cardboard Box By The Dumpster...They Are So Lost

I'm pretty sure that the people in charge haven't grown or changed at all since 2016 when "owning the libs" was the entirety of their worldview, therefore their ambitions in Iran can not be anything more than "offend Iran". The concept of a 'war goal' doesn't enter their vocabulary.

A lot of guys who were paid something like $150 to play Star Trek Fleet Commander suddenly have a lot to say about the Woke Ginger. Don't think we don't see you...

I do not consider JD Vance or the NYC podcast Nazi types to really be Catholic in any way I recognize. As far as I'm concerned they picked a religion from Skyrim that is none of my business

I hope everybody who was excited for a retvrn to classical western aesthetics is excited to see that the American gotterdammerung will be expressed through Wii sports memes, maybe rage comics.

The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn't exist. The greatest trick God ever played was putting Yellow Ledbetter on Side-B. Classic Rock and Old School Tunes™ 🎸

It annoys me more than it should that they got rid of pennies. The only people who had a problem with pennies were people who just read a reddit TIL post about how it costs more than a cent to mint a penny. Who cares.

Christ. This is terrible news!

A stock sound that comes up a lot in media, and it seems like I'm the only one who notices it, is the Bloodborne/Dark Souls "critical hit" sound that happens when you do a backstab. This time I heard it at the end of a commercial for a colon cancer screening product. www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEKy...

Mines to the left of me, chokepoint to the right here I am. Stuck in the Straight of Hormuz. You can have that one for free.

"AI is coming for movies, art, and entertainment. Humans won't be able to keep up." If you could peer into the memories of someone who says this kind of thing, you'd see that this video was the first piece of art that really stirred them emotionally.

Every bluesky post with a news update has the same replies: - LibMom1968: Looks like Trump is being a major B-word, as I predicted he would. - CoolMarx1994: It starting to seem like class disparities are at play, I suspected as much. - SpiceGirl98: Girls? Bring it in!!!

My whole ambition as a poster is to be the Paul McCartney in a world full of Rendy Jones.

𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒚𝒛𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒃𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖...

Does Aesop Rock have the "pass" ? - 143 replies [THREAD CLOSED BY MODERATORS] Note from Admin: No

"It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean." Is a terrible analogy because I have no control over the ocean literally or figuratively. The "ocean" in that context could only refer to a woman's ass, and— Hold on, I'm sorry. This is not the kind of person I'm trying to be.

Basically the difference between a conscious computer and a regular ol' unconscious one is that the conscious one (a nascent superhuman intelligence beyond our comprehension) doesn't always get math right.

It doesn't get more Based than this. The McDonald's CEO just ate a hamburger. A McDonald's hamburger. His reaction? Priceless. Finance Twitter is already supplying the memes, and they are UNHINGED.