YOU - “The people who built this world intended it to be better for you, but they failed. It is easier to live in their failure with this by your side.” (Tap on the tape recorder.)

ChatGPT: you’re right you’re so much smarter than him. He’s so schlubby and you’re so suave. Columbo will never catch you.

Yes, the Grink was there. I'm getting to that. He was on that island with me. And I wouldn't be alive to tell my story without him.

ECHO MAKER - “Capital does not believe it can fail, which is why it must fail.” VOLITION - So young. So *unbearably* young… HALF LIGHT - Why do you see the two of them with their backs against a bullet-pocked wall, all of a sudden?

[getting rejected at the bar] that's fine. actually my boys and i were thinking of diminishing and going into the west

'Chat' are we 'cooked'? I know not who chat is and why they would know what is cooked, but if you ever hunger, know my table shall ever have a chair ready for you.

men are so stupid bc "entire team of women plus their one special little guy" is a top tier coworker situation to be in

you gotta check out ozymandias’ badass new statue man. it’s two big feet and nothing else. he made it that way

Try as I might nothing I can think to post really rises to the occasion

starting my morning opening up LinkedIn so i can let the shareholders know i survived the night and can still generate value. i slept 5 hours so i made sure to tag 12 people in my post to share what i learned about unconventional markets (the world of dreams). i change my job title to PR laureate

This is NOT what I signed up for

“the pharaoh’s tomb is cursed! the necromancer’s ring is cursed! the witch’s grimoire is cursed!” that’s how you sound. everything is fucking cursed with you bro. i don’t care. i’m taking this skull.

Happy TDOV! My life has been hugely enriched by having friends across the gender spectrum, and in a sense I think transphobes are punishing themselves by insisting on leading a life that is smaller, poorer, and meaner than it needs to be. However in another sense more vengeance is needed

Every day of my god damn life

have you seen the new supply chain vuln? don't update tubu. it's literally on heebee. they got poodee's deps. they infiltrated dippy. roll back weeno. disable scripts in ~/.gumpyrc. it's in poob. do not install poob. do not update poob. uninstall poob right now. poob has it in for you.

I guess boycotting Harry Potter feels pretty trivial to me, because I'm an adult. if someone told me I shouldn't eat Gerber's baby food, I'd be like, that is no problem. I'm way ahead of you

What kind of game is Granblue Fantasy?

I'm going to start saying I "hit credits" on books just like immediately when I start reading them

WAR DON'T SEX CRIMES HIDE CRIMES

if you watch or support this you're a bad person btw. i'm not arguing with you about it either

at no point was I able to accurately predict the next word

I think what really kills me these days is that I can resist the powers (of capitalism, imperialism, evil) but only from within their own system. That is all I, personally, am capable of. They will best me in any fair fight because they don't play fair and I am no chosen hero l.

As far as places to teeter on go, the brink is a classic that just can’t be beat

This is definitely a hot take and the sort of thing they love to speciously misinterpret in conversations about "toxic masculinity" but we'd be a lot better off if we could deal frankly with the fact that most men are taught that being actively stupid is an integral part of gender performance

You owe it to yourself to check out what Sara and Tom are up to. Worm-in-your-brain stuff. Fun stuff! Big influences on me as a young guy trying to make art and learning to understand the world. From Hey Pais to Noncanon to The Proof (first place I saw my words in print!). Peruse. Buy a sticker!

the first step to a good solid writing practice is establishing some kind of accountability system. the second step is establishing a backup accountability system for when you inevitably figure out how to evade the first one. the third step? you guessed it: jerking off

thanks to AI our slow and humiliating national suicide will be punctuated by visual media that is so good even a dog could jack off to it

Herman Melville on moderates, all the way back in 1857:

I feel I am a very generous reader who will forgive most things, but a poem that reads like a self help book I cannot abide

being a billionaire would actually be awesome. because think about it: you could go to the nicest restaurants, travel the world, and buy as many sports cars as you wanted. buy them with what? your billions of dollars. exactly. more people need to understand the power of money

this really is what it’s like

sorry basically the problem of my life is that i internalized and believed a lot of stuff people said about valuing children and loving your neighbor and living in a society at the exact moment that everyone in power decided all of that shit was fake and gay and not a way to make a living

crime dog you gotta find some better wording for this

im a little birthday boy

everyone check in with the most annoying 24 year old you know. They announced chainsaw man and smiling friends are ending.

Dude I just saw that Gartner put you on the dipshit list

they're absolutely cooking your ass on G2Crowd man

with cooter ray beechum near wiley creek www.noncanon.com/comics/2026-...

This factoid actually statistical error. Your stupid boss Georg, who lives in a penthouse & is dumber than an LED lightbulb, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

look at my son

These are the 4 things AI can do well: •Clean up your email inbox (badly) •Give my shittiest neighbor (Alan) something to talk about at a party •Tell a 12 yr old to kill himself •Incinerate a school at 10:16 AM on a Tuesday You can see why we need to base our economy around it

Anime Sickos Podcast cured my depression

Maternal grandfather spent his life doing civil engineering in the Ecuadorian Amazonian jungle and helped build all the roads that go through it. Paternal grandfather died at like 40 and no one ever told me what he did for work, nor have I ever asked

The first step to turning your computer on is to press the power button