a pep talk from this man would fix me

This is so funny. It's like a sidebar in a textbook "Did you know? In order to do his job, an FBI director must be conscious"

okay so. hello cis people. see this below? it's a good joke about Caitlyn Jenner because it addresses her vehicular manslaughter, staying critical about Jenner without saying "she deserves to be discriminated against!" because saying the latter makes you an asshole. bsky.app/profile/iwri...

Today in the Tulips. Friday morning on Chicago's Michigan Avenue. You can support the organization that plants these tulips on the Mag Mile, A Safe Haven Foundation - bit.ly/4cdBWoG

I'm working on a story for @thesicktimes.org about RECOVER clinical trial results that have been shared so far (from the VITAL, NEURO, and AUTONOMIC studies), and am looking for people in the #LongCOVID and IACC communities to share what they think of the findings. DM or email me!

he used to be a little boy

trying to post through it rn

Excited to see that horse surgery conclude well ahead of schedule

me and Loomis when the haters want us to get out of bed

that's alright gay Obama thanks for calling back

If it happens, Jack May he rest in peace Death comes in the night on Little cat feet!! 🎹

Fog-tastic! Thursday early evening in Chicago.

whats wrong sailor, you havent touched your grimace from mcdonalds sliced penis meat

Everyone stop making fun of Bluesky failing "because it's vibe coded". It's failing because I chewed through a power cable and all the meat on my bones blew apart like a grenade was going off, fully cooked.

The cover for my next novel, CHIMERA, is here. Skin dancers, cannibals, kinslayers, monsters. The Vargers are many things, but family always comes first. Cover illustration by Xuanwei Su Cover design by Esther S. Kim Pre-order it here: us.macmillan.com/books/978125...

These might not be the best, but this is our Board of Directors

Longmont Potion Castle is the exact same type of communist as me

Lol

the thing about Longmont Potion Castle is that these calls reveal how simultaneously credulous and hair trigger a vast cross-section of Americans are

Blowing up Michael and Peter's spot here

Figured out what the black-capped chickadee's two-note song reminds me of: Nelson's laugh. This mf out here going "ha-ha" at all the other birds' songs

I don't know anything about the economy but one thing I do know is that even if you get a little bit of money together, lately, there's nothing cool to spend it on. Electronics are cheaply made and break quickly. Clothing, same deal. Very few things feel like an investment or luxury!

DoorDash's head of public affairs said "no one is claiming it was a real delivery." I found a few people who were claiming that: Reuters, ABC, CBS, the AP, Fox, Newsmax, The Hill, the New York Post, and CSPAN, for starters. www.readtpa.com/p/a-real-del...

procrastinating getting in bed because I want to listen to the storm

- Your resume says you're skilled in tidying and dusting as well as maintaing the lamp in a navigational aid tower? - That's right. Light housekeeping, and lighthouse keeping

Feels like summer ⚡⛈️🌳 Avondale neighborhood

Made myself a Gregghead shirt for the LA @oncinema.bsky.social show next week #itsmovietime #fivebagger

get your pets' DNA checked. might be dogs, might not.

We got a new air fryer today and Rhasan said “where’re we going to put this little guy?” and the almost 7 year old chimed up loudly “IT COULD BE A THEY OR THEM” and that’s how I ended up with a nonbinary air fryer.

Just got some of that good stuff from @saramchenry.bsky.social & @tommchenry.bsky.social aka Your McHenries! Check out great comics, stickers, and more here 👉 yourmchenries.bigcartel.com

you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of

The most bad-ass rebuttal from Tite Kubo, the author of Bleach.

Said it before: we need to make that Cambridge computer scientist the prime minister

aw fuck, we’ve got fraggles. they’re bigger than I thought. woke up last night to see one standing in the corner of my room, vaping

You’re gonna make a huge part of your plot “the Boystown Denny’s” and then not shoot anything in actual Boystown in real life Chicago? A real place that is beautiful and doesn’t have a Denny’s?

Heat, 1995 (Mann)

Please leave Substack.

The telehealth doc I saw when I had covid prescribed the "severe renal dose" of paxlovid (much lower dose for people with kidney problems, which is not an issue I've ever had). I wonder if that's why I was sick for SO long, and why he did that, and I never got any answer. That's just life now

et tu, bestie?

PET COMMISSIONS are back! let me draw your pet! 🐈 $120 USD gets you 4 mini portraits of one pet 🐕 $140 USD for 4 small portraits featuring two pets (examples below for all) email me at [email protected] with subject line "pet commission" if you're interested, more details below:

there is NO feeling like walking into an event that didn't seem like it had a Bring A Gift vibe and immediately clapping eyes on a table piled with glittery boxes and bags 🆒🆒😜

4 simple words to get into my pants

Osage Nation “I Voted” stickers didn’t have to go this hard

I got IYFS on the Myers Briggs. It said I'm a hopeless nonbeliever no matter how many ministers I see. Not sure how that helps me find a college roommate but okay

[getting rejected at the bar] that's fine. actually my boys and i were thinking of diminishing and going into the west