Being an American feels like getting on a school bus and then your bus driver decides to do a drive by

aliens invading earth because that tesla elon shot into space ran over a kid

RIP to Mike F, one of the all time great posters. Thank you for brightening online with your many wonderful jokes.

One of the best to ever do it

The American girl doll my in laws gave my daughter for Christmas looks like Bobby Hill

a prostitute in Norway is called a leif blower

"Marty Supreme" looks like they made a movie that skips straight to the SNL parody. Like, "Imagine an impossibly cool con man. Imagine a story of boundless ambition unchecked by the constraints that hem in most of our lives. What if Bonnie and Clyde... but with ping pong?"

I shouldn't laugh, but imagine your ass being haunted?

(daft punk One More Time voice) Auld Lang Syne

Drake Catches Himself Singing ‘Not Like Us’ In The Shower

Bari Weiss's legacy:

this game is an escort mission for the colts. they have to gain yardage in small chunks and wait for philip rivers to walk up to the line. every couple minutes he spits out some dialogue like "hurry – we have to reach the satellite uplink so we can deliver evidence of the ambassador's wrongdoing"

This is what the senator from the Watchman show said right before he liquified himself, so...

I took my friend with only a high school degree to a fancy party and saw his face freeze up at the terminology being used by the elite. “Hebephile?” “Ephebophile?” I quickly asked him if he wanted to go somewhere else and he anxiously nodded yes and so we went to a Trump rally. By David Brooks

Chotiner: "You can increase the intelligence of primitive people, yes?" Monolith: *the buzzing vocals of Ligeti's "Kyrie"* C: "But it didn't occur to question why all those young girls were on an island with those men?" M: *The vocals stammer, the monolith now has a visible sheen of flop sweat*

I ditched the Dale Midkiff time traveling cop show in favor of the knock off of JCVD’s movie, and now I’m being accused of Trax evasion.

This is rough. This guy was just great. I was never sure if he was okay with chewing scenery, the way a lot of guys who get sidelined into genre work sometimes are, but god would he ever show up when asked.

HBO Max putting out a remastered version of this post where you can see the friends

a second generation monk is an heir friar

I named my fists "Dunning" and "Kruger" because I haven't trained in any sort of martial art but am confident I would do pretty well.

That cancelled TV show you'll never stop thinking about. I just think it would have been a cool mass effect 2 kinda story. Obviously mass effect took cues from Babylon 5, but still…

this isn't funny buses only do this when they're really scared

narrator: 50 years ago... me: [nods] in 1945 narrator: in 1975... me: what

AR-PHARAZÔN THE GOLDEN: What you have to remember also is he appeared in fair form. CHOTINER: The next time the invasion of Valinor and the destruction of Númenor come up, I'll keep in mind that Sauron was handsome when it happened. AR-PHARAZÔN: He was. Not that that excuses it. CHOTINER: Right.

I didn't know you like to get wet, Charlie Brown.

none of these words were in the bible

JACK DONAGHY: Lemon, Don Geiss is telling me we need to find a way to make Jenna appeal to the [strained air quotes with fingers] "youth" demographic, maybe a song? LIZ LEMON: No! We all know what happened last time-

(spending 9 billion dollars to make a robot say "i have always loved you") hard times create strong men

“Dear diary i wonder what Bobby angry throat ass up to this morning”

Probably because it's too good

All the Epstein emails are powerful elites saying shit like “Hello my friend the pedophile, i need your advice as a pedophile, what do you think about this other pedophile? Pedophilic Regards, your Friend ;)” and instead of swinging from a gibbet most of them are still writing op-eds against leftism

Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.

lol

[Dick Cheney on his way to hell] My belief is I will, in fact, be greeted as a liberator

New graffiti art in my Rogers Park, Chicago, neighborhood.

The silver lining to this bears defense being so leaky is that the offense can be relied upon to win shootouts.

Gray-Lipped RFK Jr. Touts Body’s Natural Ability To Transmute Lead Into Gold

In one of the replay angles for that catch, you can see Hernandez had his mouth open, and I like to think he was just screaming the whole time he was tracking the ball, the way a lot of us did in little league. Then he got trucked by another player, also the way a lot of us did in little league.

It's not good for my mental health that I'm looking at these last two defensive plays and thinking that the White Sox would have lost the World Series twice.

I fucking gasped. I'll admit it.

it was a huge scandal when CBS got burned by doctored documents relating to Bush's military record. Now you can just invent shit out of whole cloth to do nothing but confirm the biases of gutter racists and it's just Tuesday.

ICE Agent, 7-Year-Old Both Wearing Same ‘Military Commando’ Halloween Costume

[Patrick Swayze breaking up with someone] you're not like the wind

Blue Jays tonight:

Love the ChatGPT commercial with a college student asking it to come up with a world class study schedule. Absolutely how 19 and 20 year olds are using the service.

taking a pilgrimage to see the pie that looks like RFK Jr

“A number of large stuffed animals that are rumored to be implicated in the outbreak,” is a fucking crazy headline about the headquarters of one of the biggest tech companies in the world, in the biggest city in the US. Like, fucking Apple has to shut down because everyone’s crocs gave them typhus.