Just saw the aftermath of Jake Paul's head getting smashed apart by Anthony Joshua and I'm really hoping everyone has learned their lesson about letting dipshit influencers cosplay as boxers.

So when JD Vance leaves his wife for Erika Kirk, do you think he's going to take her maiden name or will they both go with Kirk?

Democrats: "What the fuck? You peasants are supposed to pay taxes so all that money can go to billionaires. How dare you vote for people who think taxpayer money should go to helping taxpayers and improving society."

Chuck's widow with the Freudian Slip straight up calling Turning Point a grift.

I have never seen someone so happy their husband was murdered. She is having the absolute time of her life.

why did they redact this

Cops are so funny. You spend years becoming a state trooper and then some spoiled rich kid seeking re-election says "you're now a toilet cop, little piggy" and you have no choice but to spread your asscheeks and take it from some nerd that's like the heir to a microwave dinner company or something.

Whoopsy doodles, Pam Bondi and Kash Patel missed one of the photos of their pedophile boss.

So it appears that the quickest and easiest way to combat pedophilia is to just execute billionaires. Let's make it happen.

I'm old enough to remember when boxing was a sport run by morbidly obese money laundering Italians, and not a pathetic grift run by a money laundering nerd who can't box.

Don’t never let these old folk try to moralize to you fam y’all have no idea how chaotically horny y’all’s parents were at 9pm on Mondays

I don't anything about this guy, but I have a strong hunch he's an actual Christian who follows the word of Christ.

ICE Agent Isaiah Hodgson, who was arrested for sexually assaulting women in the bathroom of a Los Angeles restaurant and threatening them with deportation, has committed suicide. In case you were wondering why the sun is a little brighter and food tastes better today. ❤️

We've said repeatedly it's astonishing that Stephen Miller is in his 30s and looks like Count Orlock. Now, thanks to Christopher Anderson's unedited Vanity Fair photos, I have learned that Karoline Leavitt is 29 years old. Not the 54 that I assumed. Hate really, REALLY ages a motherfucker. Badly.

Every republican, without exception, is a pedophile. Every pedophile, without exception, should have a speedy trial and public execution.

So, to recap, an unarmed elder Muslim man who runs a fruit stand in Bondi Beach is braver and better at crime-fighting than the entire Uvalde Police Department.

Just so I'm clear on this, computer memory has tripled in price because a bunch of it that hasn't been produced yet has been ordered to populate GPUs that aren't installed in data centers that aren't built yet in order to service a demand that doesn't exist to make profits that don't happen.

Teehee 🤭

The older I get, the more my politics mature from childish, naïve beliefs like "the world is complicated and leaders have to make hard decisions" to more serious, adult principles like "hurting people is bad and helping people is good."

Rob Reiner made some great films that I love, but no matter what I can't help but think about how Roger Ebert's review of North is probably the funniest thing ever printed in a newspaper. And for that I thank him, as well as for his other, actually beloved, movies.

🥴

Pam Bondi pretending they captured the girlfriend of the Leader of Antifa was funny. This toilet insect pretending that they captured a group of leftists who not only had a shared ideology, but were also motivated to carry out plans? Fucking HILARIOUS.

Your man looks like he smells like when you turn the heat on in the house for the first time

Breaking: elderly businessmen discover centuries-old connection between Alt Girls and Horny Nerds

Remember when the dumbest, most useless people on earth, who've never worked a day in their lives, were clutching their pearls and sobbing because they thought "86" was some kind of hip-hop slang for murder?

Hey Gen Z, wanna experience what the 90s /00s were like? Go to your local library. Endless walls of books, DVDs, and other physical media, and there's not a financial transaction for simply existing, and there aren't 5 million screens playing ads. Also, unlimited audiobooks. And no MAGA hogs.

America needs to chill the fuck out with every single last goddamn thing under the sun being a punishable crime that somehow always includes a for-profit business getting a payday out of it.

The Clair Obscur Awards for Best Clair Obscur goes to *opens envelope* ...DISPATCH?????

Thinking about becoming a right wing grifter. My angle will be climate change denial / anti-environmentalist so I can get those sweet fossil fuel paychecks. Gonna convince dumb dudes it's actually really cool to have tons of microplastics in your testicles because it makes them stronger.

The bad news: ICE is using CIA torture devices on men, women, and children who have committed zero crimes. The good news: Todd Howard has announced that Bethesda will be porting Skyrim to the ligament-tearing toddler torture box.

Visual representation of any time there's more than 2 people discussing a news story on TV

Extremely cool that the president of the united states isn't Biff from Back to the Future 2, as many predicted Instead he's Francis from Pee-wee's Big Adventure, a very special boy who can be won over with ridiculous presents, and gets so excited if you show him a big truck he can pretend to drive

War / Famine made some good points and I voted for them, but now I see their policies in action aren't so good. Next time I'm voting for Pestilence / Death.

For 23 years I said Metroid Prime is the best game ever, occasionally waffling and saying Breath of the Wild is my new number 1 After Tears of the Kingdom I replayed BotW. And now I'm replaying MP Metroid Prime is the best game ever made BotW, Elden Ring, Bloodborne, DOOM Dark Ages follow it

Advisor: Mongolia has archers Chinese Emperor: So do we Adisor: And Mongolia has horses Chines Emperor: So do we Advisor: No, you don't understand. They put them together. Their archers and their cavalry are the same guys. Chinese Emperor: I'm going to need you to build me the biggest wall ever

Fully convinced that anyone could fundraise a guy giving Trump a little gold statue and he'd declare a department of furries / anime / necrophilia. It's a shame the left doesn't know how to manipulate the fact that we can just GoFundMe the bribe government.

Imagine being more dedicated to this nerd than his wife was.

The Nobel Prize committee should tell Trump: They're going to give him a Peace Prize but only do it posthumously and as long as he doesn't tell anyone. That's their top honor.

When you wanted an Oscar but got a Razzie

The "we can just vote them out" libs are about to learn a hard lesson about how authoritarianism works and how authoritarians completely bulldoze cowardly liberals who say things like "we can just vote them out".

If people being able to afford groceries crashes the economy, then "the economy" is a giant pile of dog shit that NEEDS to crash, burn, buried, and pissed on, then all the perpetrators put against a wall.

I know the year isn't over, but I'm confident I've written the dumbest joke of 2025: Spanish Goofy be like "JLLUCK"

Cis women can't comprehend THE VOID that comes with explosive testosterone and growth hormones. I used to demolish 10-12 hamburgers back when Clinton was president and we could afford food, even though less was being produced per person. I can't imagine having a boy, or being one, now.