Ilhan Omar made 10 million in the last week? That’s good business sense, maybe she should be president?

“It’s really neat that I got 100 million dollars from our parent company. Unrelated we’re firing 2/3rds of you”

“ I brought a *billboard*”

Deescalate deez nuts

Its wild how the NYT has truly incredible people on staff who can do video analysis and sync video and prove beyond any doubt that what happened happened and then the headlines in the same goddamn paper are like: "Questions raised by government's account of Federal Officer-Involved Conflict"

Will things be magically better by 5:30pm ET tomorrow?

No *true* policeman would murder in the streets, so these must not be police!

In solidarity with today's ICE OUT OF MINNESOTA blackout, MinnMax is donating $1 to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota for every share of this Bluesky post for the next hour.

no it didn’t. that isn’t true.

If you’re a bee you’d probably be born and die before you could even see this movie and that’s fucked up because this is a movie for them

They had the audacity to claim Bluesky didn't have the juice, but not since peak Twitter have I logged off for an evening and come back to my entire feed speaking in a new language of rapid-fire in-jokes that I have to reverse-engineer to figure out what's happening. That, my friends, is The Juice.

Live view of the Air Force One pilot.

Stage 5 pundit-brain is watching an innocent woman being killed by agents of the state and going, "hmm this says a lot about the urban-rural divide in America."

He died doing what he loved: being insane and annoying and embarrassing online. A true poster. He also once tried to hypnotize me over the phone.

biggest pussies in the world. you called someone's mom because they said something mean to you. jesus christ

Such a good quote!

I'm angry that today I had to decide whether to look at the state sponsored murder of an innocent person so I would have context, or to not and just to know about it to spare myself a little bit of pain.

I went from “I guess I will always stay in a Hilton from now on” to “I will never stay at a Hilton again” so freaking fast.

“why are you still on twitter” -> whiny, makes you sound like a scold “oh you post on the pedophile app” -> makes them sound like a pedophile

Bari Weiss has only failed upwards propped up by the oligarchs she sucks up to. The reality is that her politics are odious and people can't stand her. The political class giving her clout have their heads up their asses. No one likes this stuff. www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...

Ian Miles Cheong: Everyone must go back to the country where they are born. Please don't tell people I'm living in Malaysia, where I was born, but spend my entire life complaining about America. Ian Miles Cheong: *has been secretly living in Dubai this whole time*

From Evan: it's a huge night of hope for the trans community. The Republicans went all in on anti-trans ads in multiple races and so far there's no sign it got them anything. Perhaps the page can be turned on blaming us for Harris' loss last year.

finally. baseball is over. we can only hope it has been defeated forever

Ban drake from Game 7

Dodgers let the Jays pull off the ol’ “three wild pitches and not really doing anything else” strategy

the usual story. rich guy wants to punish universities for not clamping down on pro-palestinian protests and for doing too much to recruit minorities. at base these guys want the top tier of american universities to become, once more, safe-spaces for their dunderheaded failsons

In case it wasn’t clear, the anti-DEI crusade has never been about merit. Zero news experience. Never been a reporter. Elevated to Editor in Chief of CBS News, one of the most storied news institutions in the nation. www.mediaite.com/media/news/p...

oh your heart is racing? you feel scared and like you're going to die/faint/vomit? you feel dizzy and you're sweating and irrational fear is swamping your very bloodstream? welcome to my fucking life pussy ass bitch take a xanax

together these guys could demolish trumps appeal among normies right now if they wanted, they could all start saying the economy is in shambles bc hes bad at doing deals and it would turn him into a lame duck by COB

The NFL denied my credential. American Airlines put me in purgatory. God Did Not Want Me to Go to Brazil. Wide Left sent me anyway. I got one hell of a story out of it:

all the best windows software in history is called something like "joe's thing doer". it does the thing and nothing else and is available on a html website in plain text and takes up under a megabyte of space and uses default windows ui elements and will work until the heat death of the universe

This is like in Peter Pan where the audience tries to revive Tinkerbell with applause. Except, you know, the opposite.

Look at the mitochondrial damage on this mf. Inflamed as hell, just seriously fucked up mitochondria.

They’re gonna turn people over to ICE. Just don’t use their trash at all. It’s bad for your brain and they’re an evil company.

Just to circle back, at this point in 2021 Republicans were not exclusively choosing between "Biden is screwing up COVID," "Biden is screwing up Afghanistan," and "Biden is screwing up inflation."

Blessed every day to have real friends instead of whatever the hell this is

because we crave meaning and fear death

It's something to watch this happen when issue is question is "no longer supporting genocide"

If the Epstein files are released and he’s all over them as a pedophile then people will think he’s a pedophile and it’s harder for him to do bad stuff why is this difficult to understand lol

lol you’ve got an AI girlfriend?? ur putting techbros in charge of your relationship??? ok buddy lmfao ok champ

This is like if Jeremy Renner got ratioed on the Jeremy Renner app

Sorry Superman ain't flying around, randomly putting brown people in swamp prisons. That must be hard for you. Thoughts and prayers and whatnot.

hey @nytimes.com i fixed your article, you're welcome

Zohran Mamdani's video strategy is part of what helped him win the New York mayor's race democratic primary. He shows that off in a new video. http://f-st.co/ZplTNZ0

Worked imo: Ok Boomer They’re weird Will you shut up, man There you go again Does not work imo: He’s dangerous He’s a felon Most important election ever Rules don’t apply to him Stop building up fascists into cool strong outlaws for scared idiots to hide behind. Deflate them. It’s not that hard

we do not care how much shit is in the icecream, we want it without shit

Dear Dems: this is what we want. This is who we want. Listen to us.